Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios
When the neighbor saw that Lin Nuan didn’t flinch in disgust or fear, but instead stood at the entrance to the apartment, she looked at her with a weird gaze.
It was 50 square meters of open space with the bathroom connected to the kitchen.
Since it was an old apartment on the first floor, the windows were not big. They were placed higher up and had rusty security nets on them, making the whole place dark and rotten-smelling.
The living conditions of her birth parents were harder to accept for Lin Nuan than she imagined; probably because she had always lived a prosperous life and didn’t understand the pains of those in the lower class.
Lin Nuan stood in the living room that had no space for her to sit down, simply staring at the woman busy in the kitchen.
Her birth mother didn’t wash her hands; her dirty hands kneaded the dough and chopped up the vegetables, then cracked the egg… All her actions were done with so much ease that there was no hint of her being a lunatic.
The bowl of noodles was placed in front of Lin Nuan, who saw her birth mother look at her with fervor, saying,
Ranran, eat! Ranran, eat!
Lin Nuan didn’t mind the woman’s whole body of filth, and she didn’t mind that she had never washed the mud off her hands; she simply finished the bowl of noodles up until the last drop of soup.
She couldn’t tell what the taste was. She could only feel bitterness in her mouth that spread to her heart, bitterness that made Lin Nuan want to cry. She clenched her fists so tightly that her knuckles hurt.
The next time Lin Nuan saw the woman, it was at the asylum.
Lin Nuan watched through the window as the woman cradled a doll and comforted it in a soft voice.
She was afraid that the others were being too noisy and would disturb her daughter, so she angrily raised a chair and threw it at them.
Lin Nuan’s birth mother was in a worse condition than when Lin Nuan first saw her.
She no longer called Lin Nuan
Ranran
; it was as though she had channeled all her remaining love into the doll in her embrace. Even if Lin Nuan sat right in front of her, her unfocused eyes would simply gaze over Lin Nuan before she continued mumbling to the doll.
Lin Nuan couldn’t understand the world of lunatics; she heard that it was as though everything had been destroyed, and only nothingness was left. But she felt that, for her birth mother, her softest spot remainedâ€
that was her daughter.
For the first time, Lin Nuan understood why motherly love was said to be so great, and she learned it from her birth mother, who people labeled a lunatic. Even if everything in her world was destroyed, and despite the passage of time, she still held unchanging deep love for her daughter.
Fu Huai’an could sense Lin Nuan’s forbearance under her mask of calmness.
She sniffled lightly before finishing the rest of the noodles in small bites.
That night, Lin Nuan slept very well.
She wasn’t sure if it was because she was exhausted, or because of the man behind her back engulfing her in warmth.
…
The next day, when Lin Nuan reached home, Bai Xiaonian saw that she was wearing new clothes while carrying her old ones. Without waiting for Lin Nuan to change her shoes, Bai Xiaonian stood at the entrance and said with a tone full of sureness,
You were together with Fu Huai’an last night?
Lin Nuan’s ears turned red at being seen through by Bai Xiaonian. She placed her bag aside as she slipped into her cotton slippers before walking towards the bathroom with her laundry in hand.
Bai Xiaonian followed behind Lin Nuan. Seeing Lin Nuan pick out a piece of underwear then stuff her outerwear into the washing machine, she asked,
So, after one night, did Fu Huai’an agree to help you?
Lin Nuan added some detergent into the washing machine and squeezed past Bai Xiaonian who was blocking at the door of the bathroom. She walked straight to the kitchen and avoided the question, acting impatient to mask her embarrassment as she said,
What do you mean after one night?
