Chapter 393 - You Shouldn’t Be Like This

Chapter 393: You Shouldn’t Be Like This
Translator: 
Atlas Studios 
 Editor: 
Atlas Studios


President…
said Lin Nuan, taking the initiative to greet Chu Xun.
Lin Nuan didn’t greet Chu Xun earlier on because there were people between them and she could pretend that she didn’t see her. But now that Chu Xun was standing right beside her, Lin Nuan couldn’t continue acting as though she didn’t notice her.
Chu Xun nodded, barely concealed awkwardness and embarrassment on her face.
The pouring rain continued falling endlessly. Standing beside Lin Nuan, Chu Xun’s mood gradually calmed down from the initial awkwardness and fear.
She looked at Lin Nuan and suddenly opened her mouth, saying,
Lin Nuan, actually… I’ve seen you in Iraq before!



Lin Nuan, who had been watching the rain form puddles on the ground, turned her head to the side to look at Chu Xun. Chu Xun’s face was pale, and her hands had curled into fists; upon closer inspection, her body even seemed to be shivering slightly.

At that time… I, too, was in the Jiangs’ factory, I don’t know if you still remember me!

Although Chu Xun was bringing it up herself, she was still afraid that Lin Nuan would remember her.
That scene was the most humiliating scene in Chu Xun’s life… and the one she was never able to forgive herself for.
Even if Chu Xun knew that Lu Xiangsi would have died even without her one cowardly glance, she didn’t want it to be her gaze that betrayed Lu Xiangsi!
At that time, compared to Lu Xiangsi, who stood forward with a clean and fearless gaze, the Chu Xun then seemed so minuscule and cowardly!
This was the greatest pain in Chu Xun’s life.
Lin Nuan looked at Chu Xun. She definitely no longer had an impression of her being there in Iraq, so she shook her head and said plainly,
I don’t remember.

Chu Xun frowned, and she felt as though something was stuck in her throat. She wanted to open her mouth but didn’t have the courage. Yet, this matter had been kept in her heart for so long that it was almost driving her crazy!
Chu Xun took out a cigarette and lit it up with shaking fingers.



I did… an extremely shameful thing!
said Chu Xun after taking a long drag of her cigarette.
Lin Nuan didn’t know what Chu Xun meant by extremely shameful, but when Lin Nuan was in Iraq, she knew personally what kind of situation was happening there. At that place, as long as one could survive… there was nothing that one wouldn’t do.

In a place like Iraq, where no one’s life is guaranteed, there is no place for dignity and shame…
said Lin Nuan calmly, instead of asking what Chu Xun did.
Chu Xun felt that these words, coming from Lin Nuan, who had also been to Iraq, were more trustworthy.
She let out a puff of white smoke as she stared at the heavy rain. Tears trickled down from the corner of her eyes as she tilted her head upwards slightly, saying,
Lin Nuan, do you remember… when those armed men rushed into the place and forced all of us who were already in the car to get down at gunpoint?

This meant that Chu Xun was also one of those among the last batch to leave!
Lin Nuan remembered that in the last batch of people leaving, apart from her and Lu Xiangsi, there were also quite a few other women…

At that time, the leader grabbed my collar and pointed a gun to my head, asking me who Lu Xiangsi was!

Lin Nuan remembered that at the time she had lowered her head in fear. Lu Xiangsi squeezed her hand tightly before standing up.

It was my gaze that betrayed Lu Xiangsi…



When Chu Xun said these words, it was clear from her voice that she was crying.
Lin Nuan was very surprised.
At that time, Lu Xiangsi had instructed Lin Nuan to lower her head and not resist the armed men, and Lin Nuan did so, only caring about Tuan Tuan in her arms.
But Lin Nuan instinctively felt that Lu Xiangsi had already made the decision to stand out and not drag others down with her. Otherwise, Lu Xiangsi wouldn’t have left Tuan Tuan in her care and held Lin Nuan’s hand tightly one last time when the armed men asked for Lu Xiangsi.

In that situation, it was every man for himself, but I… shouldn’t have been so fearful! It was my gaze that betrayed Lu Xiangsi! I caused… Tuan Tuan’s mother to die! Lin Nuan, that’s why I set my heart on being together with Fu Huai’an! For one, it was to repay him for saving my life. Secondly, it was so I could care for Tuan Tuan! I was afraid that if Fu Huai’an ended up with anyone else, that person might not like Tuan Tuan as much as I do! Even if it was out of guilt, I’d also care for Tuan Tuan as though he was my life! Can others… go that far?

Chu Xun lowered her head and raised up the hand that was holding the cigarette to wipe away the tears on her face. Ever since that incident… from the bottom of her heart, Chu Xun had viewed her life as barely surviving.

You must think that when I went to Fu Huai’an’s place and stripped myself naked, I was really like a whre!
said Chu Xun as she turned to look at Lin Nuan with hurt in her eyes.
But Lin Nuan, if I hadn’t run out of options, why would I choose such a degrading method?

Lin Nuan watched Chu Xun silently. Seeing that she was sniffling continuously, she took out a piece of tissue and passed it to Chu Xun.
Chu Xun paused slightly before taking the tissue, wiping away her tears. Her eyes were horribly red, and tears continued to fall.

Even without your glance, Sister Xiangsi would still have stepped up…
said Lin Nuan once Chu Xun was calmer. She spoke with a calm and sure voice because Lu Xiangsi… was such a brave and noble woman, how could she have let others give up their lives in her place?


All these years, Lin Nuan had never met anyone nobler than Lu Xiangsi!
After all, a person’s true nature shows in the most dangerous moments of life-and-death situations.

Before Sister Xiangsi got out of the car, she passed Tuan Tuan to me. So, even before their leader shouted for Lu Xiangsi to stand up or else he would kill everyone in the car, Sister Xiangsi had made up her mind to surrender herself!

Lin Nuan’s words were true.
There were plenty of women there, so if the armed men really killed all the women, no one would be able to escape.
That’s why Lu Xiangsi squeezed Lin Nuan’s hand so tightly!
Although Lin Nuan and Lu Xiangsi only interacted for a short amount of time, they got along very well. She clearly understood what Lu Xiangsi meant—for Lin Nuan to please take good care of Tuan Tuan!
Under those circumstances, Lu Xiangsi was unable to speak out loud, so she could only ask for Lin Nuan’s help in such a manner.

President Chu… Everyone is afraid of death! Even if you ratted out Sister Xiangsi at that time, no one can blame you!
said Lin Nuan calmly.
Chu Xun watched the falling rain as her tears continued to roll down her cheeks.



It’s all in the past, President Chu!
continued Lin Nuan.
Sister Xiangsi is already dead. If you really feel guilty…

Lin Nuan paused and pondered for a moment before saying,
President Chu, you’re titled as the iron maiden of the news circle, and you’re even the awardee of the most esteemed prize of the news industry. You can do a lot more than you think, you can do a lot of what I wish to do but am unable to! If I were you… I’d dedicate my whole life to preventing and stopping wars, to avoid letting people choose to give up their dignity when faced with either their dignity or their lives! Instead of using guilt as an excuse to do matters that even you are embarrassed of… when you just want to be together with a man! President Chu… you shouldn’t be like this.

Chu Xun probably didn’t expect Lin Nuan’s words, and she understood the meaning in them.