Chapter 28: contradiction

Quiet all around, breathing can be heard.
It took a long time for Xue Xi's soul to return to his body.
He leaned against the refrigerator door, Zhou Yizhi leaned forward.
The two were very close, until the breath fell to one place, and when Xue Xi saw his stiff reflection in Zhou Yizhi's eyes, he also saw the sly smile on her mouth.
Xue Xi's throat moved with difficulty, and it instantly realized that she was joking about herself again.
Sometimes she was actually quite improper, she would suddenly take a step towards him unscrupulously, suddenly jump into his arms, or suddenly get into his bed. But he knew very well that she would never like him.
She leaned over with a smile, licked his lips lightly, and tried to see what it was like to kiss. For her, it might be just a trivial experiment, but for him, it made his soul tremble.
Xue Xi suddenly felt embarrassed.
What is he to her?
Use it to flirt and tease casually?
The front foot expressed his liking for other people, and the back foot lightly rubbed the corner of his mouth with his lips.
He looked at the teasing smile on Zhou Yizhi's face, but his heart was very bored, mixed with inexplicable irritation, embarrassment, bitterness, helplessness, and restrained desires.
Zhou Yizhi looked at her brother and felt that she had never been so bold, but since she was sure that the people in front of her liked her, then there was nothing ambiguous. She looked at her brother, happy in her heart, and moved her upper body forward again.
Kiss again.
She leaned forward, but the boy staring at her stepped back slightly.
With a soft "bang", Xue Xi's back pressed against the refrigerator door.
The refrigerator door is closed.
Xue Xi leaned back against the refrigerator door, staring down at her stiffly, clutching his hands hanging on his side. There seemed to be some tolerance and restraint in his eyes.
Zhou Yizhi:?
Don't you want to keep kissing you, why are you angry?
"Don't be angry, come." Zhou Yizhi put his hand on Xue Xi's knee and moved forward, about to press him over and kiss him.
But my brother stood up suddenly.
One of Zhou Yi kissed her son.
"Brother." She also stood up quickly, full of doubts.
Standing in front of him, the young man was tall and intimidated.
She stood on tiptoe and was about to make persistent efforts, but before the puckered lips could kiss the boy's lips, he raised a hand, pressed his cold fingers on her forehead, and pressed her head back.
Zhou Yizhi looked up at Xue Xi a little depressed: "What are you doing, can't you kiss again? So stingy?"
Xue Xi looked at her with dark eyes.
His turbulent thoughts all dispersed and became restraint.
His throat was dry, and he said to Zhou Yizhi, "Kissing is not a trivial matter. How can you just try what it feels like to be with your loved ones?"
"Whatever, I—" Zhou Yizhi wanted to say that she was serious, but before she could finish her words, Aunt He came back from the outside and appeared at the kitchen door with a few bags of vegetables. Seeing that they were both in the kitchen, Standing in front of the refrigerator, he said strangely: "Miss, what are you doing in the kitchen?"
Zhou Yizhi blushed with a guilty conscience before the remaining cold temperature on his lips disappeared.
She coughed and asked, "Aunt He, what did you buy delicious and what do you do tonight?"
Aunt He walked in and put the bag on the marble table, and whispered to Zhou Yizhi: "How about stewing chicken at night? I also bought..."
Zhou Yizhi quietly glanced at Xue Xi and saw that the young man picked up the garbage bag on the ground and went out to throw garbage.
Why was he a little angry just now.
Is it shy?
It must be shy.
Zhou Yizhi raised his finger and lightly nodded his lips. He was very happy. The corners of his mouth were already grinning to the back of his ears. In any case, he had taken away his brother's first kiss. Let's talk about the rest of the adults.
Zhou Yizhi has never really been in a relationship, so she doesn't know how to talk about love. Here, if you kiss her, you will confirm the relationship. And my brother likes her too, she has responded now, he should understand what that means, right?
Now the two of them are tacit understanding.
But soon, Zhou Yizhi discovered how his brother seemed to avoid her intentionally or unintentionally after the kiss in front of the refrigerator.
Before, she came downstairs after taking a shower and sat next to her brother in her pajamas with her knees hugged. After watching the movie, the two went back to the room. She often leaned on her brother's shoulder softly, even crookedly, as if she was boneless. He fell into his arms, and put his head on his lap comfortably to watch the movie.
The boy's arms have a clean and good smell, and the smell of washing powder, skin, and pine and cypress are entwined, making people feel warm and at ease.
Although my elder brother was tight, he never refused.
But this time, Zhou Yizhi wanted to hug Xue Xi's waist again, but he suddenly pulled a pillow from his side, moved it aside, replaced his thigh with a pillow, and gave Zhou Yizhi a pillow.
Zhou Yizhi: ...?
Zhou Yizhi straightened up his upper body immediately, looking at Xue Xi, furious: "What's wrong, your thighs suddenly become more expensive? It won't work for me to get a pillow?!"
The elder brother stiffly said: "Don't just lie in the arms of others, the same is true when your cram school goes to the mountain for winter excursions. You and the girl share a tent."
"What is the cram school doing inexplicably?" Zhou Yizhi: "Except for you, when did I just lie in the arms of others?"
The elder brother glanced at her, hurriedly averted his gaze, and warned: "Don't just hug or hug anyone."
Zhou Yizhi said: "When did I hug someone casually?"
My brother suddenly said, "I'll go to the cram school with you. From tomorrow on, I will be waiting for you outside the cram school."
Zhou Yizhi's eyes lit up: "Are you still jealous?"
The brother drank his mouth water and said calmly: "Remember not to fall in love before graduation."
Zhou Yizhi:...
Are they talking about the same thing?
After that, Xue Xi got upstairs.
"Hey, wait for me!" Zhou Yizhi followed into his room and tried to get under the bed but was unsuccessful. Instead, he was shut outside.
Zhou Yizhi couldn't help but wonder, could it be that the signal he conveyed was wrong? No, it's so obvious by myself, my brother still doesn't know what to do. It's not because you like him, why do you kiss him? Is it possible that he thinks he is a casual relative?
Zhou Yizhi wondered whether to find another chance to kiss again.
If it doesn't work once, kiss twice, until the kiss is satisfied.
There was half a month left before the final exam. After school, Xue Xi received a call from the nurse in the hospital, saying that his grandmother was sober.
With the irreversible worsening of the illness, grandma's memory has become more and more chaotic, and the time to wake up is less and less.
So when the nurse said that she was awake, Xue Xi decided to accompany her, but that day did not send Zhou Yizhi to the cram school.
He was worried that when he was not there, Lin Jiayu came to find Yizhi's suit again, but I don't know why Lin Jiayu was very peaceful these days. Although he did come to tuition homework on weekends, he was just discussing homework with Zhou Yiyi.
Xue Xi sent drinks upstairs several times, but they didn't see anything other than homework.
Despite this, Xue Xi couldn't help but remind Zhou Yizhi twice as her elder brother to let her study hard and not fall in love before the college entrance examination.
It's just that every time he said this, Zhou Yizhi smiled openly, as happy as a flower.
Xue Xi didn't know why, and was afraid that it would arouse her rebellious thoughts, so she could only watch Lin Jiayu come to the villa to make up lessons every week as if a thorn was buried in her heart.
Xue Xi bought some fruits downstairs in the hospital.
Because the old man’s teeth were soft and he couldn’t eat crispy apples, he bought some bananas and strawberries.
He walked into the ward carrying fruits, and his grandmother was leaning on the bed, wearing reading glasses, reading with difficulty.
"Grandma." Xue Xi walked over, put the fruit on the bed, and asked with a smile: "What are you looking at?"
The old man put down his book and looked at him in surprise: "You are here, you haven't seen me for a long time."
Xue Xi smiled. He just came after school a few days ago, but the old man didn’t remember it. He was a little helpless, but just smiled:
Grandma, I’m sorry, I have too much homework recently. I will come often in the future and I will wash it for you. Order strawberries, wait for me for a while."
He went into the bathroom to clean the strawberries.
Grandma was talking to him outside.
Because I remembered that Xue Xi moved to Zhou’s house, the old man couldn’t help but ask a few more questions. The question was whether Xue Xi was eating well or sleeping well. Xue Xi said that everything was fine, and the old man let go. My heart came, and I told Xue Xi a few more words. She also asked Xue Xi about his future plans, perhaps because she realized that she couldn't stay awake often, so she wanted to say more when she was awake.
Xue Xi was cleaning with strawberries, and he lowered his eyes, watching the water flowing from the tap.
In the previous life, Xue Xi had a clear plan for his future. He saved enough money early, paid off the Zhou family’s money for his grandmother’s medical treatment, and then gave his grandmother the old care. He wanted to study medicine, so he probably saw more family members from his side. After leaving, Xue Xi instinctively resisted the death. Besides, more plans were related to Zhou Yizhi.
He has indeed moved towards his goal step by step. He went to the top medical university in China, received a full scholarship, and waited to go abroad for further study. It’s just that things are fickle. Some things he can’t predict in advance, such as grandmother’s early. Death, and the car accident that I remembered.
In this life, on the day of rebirth, he also thought about the way of this life. In addition to the plan of the previous life, he had to protect her well by her side to prevent her from disasters. In this life, Xue Xi didn't expect the easing of the relationship with her alone.
His eyes couldn't help but soften.
It seems that sometimes fate is not so thin for him.
"Right, what about it?" Grandma asked: "Are you getting along well?"
Xue Xi turned around and said, "It's good."
"That's good." Grandma looked towards the bathroom, hesitated, and then said: "Xiao Xi, have you ever thought about... Have you ever thought about when you will leave Zhou's family, after the college entrance examination? Because the friendship with your grandfather back then helped us, but it’s not good to accept gifts from others for a long time. Grandma is very afraid of becoming a drag on you..."
Xue Xi naturally understood all grandma's concerns.
When he was young, the first thing he did after the college entrance examination was to find a way to make money and returned the Zhou family's support. It’s easy to give up the ability to survive after living without worry for a long time. What's more, if you don't return the money, there will be no talk of equality between him and Zhou Yizhi.
"Don't worry, grandma." Xue Xi said: "You are not my drag. Don't think so. It is my duty to take good care of you. I will also pay back the Zhou family's support. I will be able to take good care of you. you guys."
I don't know why this was said from the young man's mouth. It was very reliable. It was probably because his back was slender and tall, giving a sense of calmness.
Grandma's eyes were a little moist, and she nodded.
Xue Xi removed the strawberry from the handle, washed it, took it out on a plate, and put it on the head of the bed. Grandma asked him to eat it. He pulled a paper towel and wiped his wet fingers clean. He said, "It hasn't been this week. I’ve seen a doctor and haven’t talked about your condition. I’ll go to the doctor’s office first.

"Okay, hurry up and go back quickly." Grandma told me: "Otherwise I will go to sleep again later."
Xue Xi nodded: "Yeah."
Xue Xi did not go to the cram school to wait for Zhou Yizhi. After school, Zhou Yizhi heard the news from the driver that Xue Xi's grandmother was sober, so he asked Driver Li to also send herself to the hospital. It happened that she hadn't visited the hospital for a long time.
When Zhou Yizhi entered the ward, Xue Xi was not there, and learned from the nurse that he had gone to the doctor's office. Zhou Yizhi first accompanied his grandmother in the ward and waited for him by the way.
Although she did not come as frequently as her brother this semester, she also visited her grandmother several times.
So my grandmother was already familiar with her, and when she saw her coming in, she greeted her to eat strawberries.
Xue Xi came out of the doctor's office.
The grandmother’s condition is still the same, her memory has deteriorated severely, and her organs have also been weakened to varying degrees. Xue Xi carefully read all the reports, and he understands that as a medical student, the only treatment currently available is nutrition. To maintain health, there is no good medical treatment.
He folded the report and walked towards the ward.
When I walked to the door, I heard Zhou Yizhi and my grandmother's voice.
The old man said: "Xue Xi is a boy. Doing more things is supposed to be. Don't be polite to him. Ask him for everything. We were already very grateful for your father's help. You let him help. You can do your homework. If you don’t want to run in physical education, let Xiaoxi help you run..."
Xue Xi couldn't hear what he said.
Xue Xi was a little bit dumbfounded when he heard the grandmother's words, and was about to push the door in.
Suddenly I heard the girl sitting next to the bed sniffing gently, as if a little sad.
She said: "Grandma, don't say that, in fact..."
"Actually, I actually owe my brother. Without me, he might..."
In the following words, Zhou Yizhi weakened.
She looked at Grandma Xue with white hair, and felt sad, not only those she was sorry for Xue Xi, but she was also sorry for Xue Xi's grandma. She had never visited his grandmother once before his grandmother died in the previous life.
Thinking about it now, will the newly grown-up brother who lost his last relative at that time feel like being abandoned by the world?
Grandma Xue couldn't understand her and said, "Zhizhi, what did you say?"
Zhou Yizhi's nose is sour, shook his head, did not continue the topic, said: "Grandma, I will continue to read to you."
Grandma Xue nodded and looked at her kindly.
The figure outside the ward was stunned with pitch-black eyes, standing there stiffly all over, the figure was shining on the ground by the lights of the corridor, shining and stiff.
The corridors of the hospital were filled with people coming and going, but he could not hear them at all. For a moment, Xue Xi's mind buzzed and was blank.
At the beginning, he wondered several times whether Yizhi was born again.
But whether it was the handwriting, the piano music she was good at, or quietly asking her about her last life, she did not show any signs of being reborn.
So he decided not to think about that problem again.
In other words, it is also to avoid facing that problem.
But now he understands that it's no use deceiving yourself.
It turned out that all changes were due to guilt.