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Zeng Xinlin was too lazy to bother about Yang Chen bored expression. He just sighed, his young face that had been through hardship bore maturity that was not found in peers of his age.
That’s right, war. I was directly appointed to the southwest’s 32nd Division’s Battle Operations Platoon half a year after I entered the army. This was because I had some foundation in martial arts and was exceptional in training. To simplify things, we’re the special forces that specialized in engaging high level combat. Everyday we crouch at the frontier of the southwest border. It was either to fight with drug smugglers and human traffickers, or deal with border disputes by fighting those other countries at the southwest border.
Now that I think of it, for me to be able to sit here alive without losing an arm or a leg is truly a blessing. Ruoxi, do you know, there was one time I was fighting with the Indian army in a canyon. Their reinforcements came much earlier than we anticipated, and they had arrived with an artillery squadron. Back then, my company only had about eighteen people, while the enemy had at least a hundred. We depended on the few machine guns on our backs to forcefully repel them.
The Indian army is famous for having no guts, but that doesn’t matter when they were just firing bullets. As our route for supplies is further away, weapons weren’t being deployed as quickly as theirs. Once they fired their artillery, we could only retreat. The division headquarters ordered us to, under no circumstances, retreat out of the canyon. Back then, our company commander panicked. He carried explosives on his body, went into the forest, and camped there. When they weren’t paying attention, he covertly threw the explosives into their ranks and managed to blow up two of those bastards’ artillery guns!
Although it was a simple narration, Zeng Xinlin was extremely engrossed in it. This made Lin Ruoxi feel like she was present in the scene. She felt rather excited by the crisis at that time and asked,
Was your company commander discovered by them?
Zeng Xinlin emotionally replied,
How could he not be discovered, our company commander was directly shot into a bee’s nest by those Indian monkeys. There weren’t even any dregs of his bones to be found……
How pitiful……
It wasn’t pitiful at all. As a soldier, avoiding death is fortune while death is fate.
Zeng Xinlin forthrightly smiled and said,
Ruoxi, you may not know this, but back then our whole company went mad. After watching our company commander die, we all hid in the forest. We took advantage of the fact that the hundred over people of the Indian army were having a headache over their loss of the two artillery guns. We directly charged into the core of their formation, striking all of them from the forest!
I remember back then that there was a bullet that flew past my ear, and I felt a scorching pain. I watched the two comrades who were beside me fall, but even in death, they held tightly onto the gun’s trigger, unwilling to let go. There was one who had his eye blown off, his state of death… I still see it in my dreams.
As if Lin Ruoxi also felt the infectious passion of that battlefield, she asked,
Did you guys get revenge for your company commander?
We did. We fought for over half an hour in that small battlefield. In the end, there was only two of us who walked out of the forest alive. The others all died… as for the enemies, they all died…….
Zeng Xinlin made a long sigh before he said with a heavy tone,
Back then we no longer cared about life or death. There was only one thought on our minds, to take revenge for our company commander. With a wounded body, I forgot everything. Now that I recall it, those days were truly unforgettable……
Zeng Xinlin’s voice was low and hoarse, as if he was completely immersed in those memories of fresh blood, while Lin Ruoxi who was seriously listening revealed a disappointed and frustrated expression.
Have you said enough? Can you stop fcking spouting bullshit?
Suddenly, the silent Yang Chen raised his head and coldly gazed at Zeng Xinlin.
What did you say!?
With widened eyes, Zeng Xinlin asked in a displeased tone.
Lin Ruoxi was just immersing herself in that scene which made her feel admiration and respect, but Yang Chen’s sudden vulgar words made her very unhappy and she reproachfully asked,
Yang Chen why are you like this! Why are you speaking to Senior in such a tone!?
Yang Chen slowly got up from the sofa, and sneered,
Why can’t I say what I said? What this Senior of yours spouted was total bullshit!
Mr. Yang, even if you’re Ruoxi’s husband, I can’t let you sully the honor of us soldiers! You must give me a reasonable explanation!
Explanation? Are you fit to know?
Yang Chen sneered, and turned away to leave.
Lin Ruoxi stood up and shouted,
Yang Chen stop right there! You have to explain yourself! You’re not allowed to be this rude to my senior!
Yang Chen made a long sigh and he turned around to look at Lin Ruoxi. This look made Lin Ruoxi feel a chill even in her bones.
She had never seen Yang Chen reveal such an expression. One of desolation, sorrow, despair, emptiness, darkness, as if it was a bottomless abyss, the kind that makes others feel haggard…..
Lin Ruoxi was dumbfounded.
Zeng Xinlin didn’t notice this. At this moment he had already stood up with his muscular chest stuck out. He stared at Yang Chen with a fierce gaze. In his opinion, this mediocre man who could not compete with him on any grounds had actually become Lin Ruoxi’s husband. He wasn’t willing to accept this. However, he knew that being irritable and unreasonable would face extreme disgust from a woman like Lin Ruoxi, so he decided to slowly make Lin Ruoxi side with him.
However, doing things slowly didn’t mean that he could endure this
insignificant
man’s provocation!
Yang Chen closed his eyes, the complicated gaze of his faded away. All that was left was an expression of jest. Facing Zeng Xinlin who appeared heroic and just, he said,
Senior Zeng, please allow me to speak honestly. Those so called hot-blooded battlefield career stories of yours are just like a child playing house in my eyes, it was just a fairy tale to make yourself feel good.
What did you say?!
A blaze had been lit in Zeng Xinlin’s eyes.
Yang Chen was absolutely fearless, he smiled and said,
You know nothing about what a battlefield is, you have never seen a real battlefield before.
Are you saying that you’ve seen one before, Mr. Yang?
Zeng Xinlin replied with disdain.
-2: Real battlefield
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Yang Chen took a deep breath, and said in a calm tone,
There’s sandy yellow soil and silt everywhere. From top to bottom of your body, other than blood, there’s only sweat, there’s no water or food. There isn’t even a complete body around you. Some are missing arms and legs, some are missing heads, and some are missing hearts.
There are artillery shells that hit your trenches, and if you slightly lift up your head, there might a round that just happens to smash into your head. You’re stuck where you are, unable to move. You never know if you’re going to lose a leg or an arm in the next second, you might not even know how you die.
When you see anything alive on the opposite side, no matter what it is, your first reaction is to shoot. Who cares if it’s a civilian! A soldier! Or your own people! Humanism can go fck itself! No civilian casualties on the battlefield can go fck itself! As long as it’s something on the opposite side, it has to die!
When you see that the comrades you’ve spend days and nights with lie beside you, see your commanding officer and brothers torn into pieces by artillery shells, you won’t feel any sorrow or joy. In fact, you won’t feel any of that, all you will feel is just one thing! The relief that the one who died wasn’t you!!
In the moment when you can’t even save your own life, when you can’t tell you’re going to live or die, who the fck has the spare time to care about the life of someone else! Revenge? That’s something fools do! If you can’t win, retreat! If you can win, make sure you can survive first! If a person survives, they can have anything, but if a person dies, then all of it is fcking nonsense!
Towards the end, Yang Chen was practically shouting. His fierce tone didn’t just make Lin Ruoxi moved to the point of being speechless, even the brave looking Zeng Xinlin felt a chill down his spine……
Just what kind of killing floor is that! What kind of hell on earth is it?
Only heartless killing is a battlefield. Everything you’ve said was bullshit, the kind that’s shown in movies to elementary school children.
Yang Chen walked out of the house in big strides after he finished speaking.
He needed to buy a pack of cigarettes as soon as possible. He wanted to drive along the expressway once as the berserk feeling in his heart felt stiflingly uncomfortable.
When he walked out of the door, Wang Ma, who just returned from shopping, happened to see Yang Chen. Before she called out to him, Yang Chen quickly got into the car and drove off with the car roaring.
Wang Ma found this rather strange. She walked into the villa and was instantly stunned.
Lin Ruoxi and Zeng Xinlin both stood in the living room. They were in a daze, as if they had lost their souls……
Yang Chen drove to the closest convenience store and bought a pack of the cheapest and most shoddy cigarette. After putting one into his mouth, he got back into the car, started it up, and drove towards the highway circling the city at high speeds.
The traffic on the highway at night was extremely low. The M3 was like lightning in the night, roaring while constantly weaving past other cars to overtake them.
After more than a dozen minutes, Yang Chen had smoked three cigarettes, and felt a lot better inside. He randomly found a road to get off the highway and looked for an empty space to park his car.
Getting out of the car, Yang Chen looked at the bright moon hanging in the sky, smiling in a self-depreciating manner. He had actually gotten into such a bad mood just from Zeng Xinlin’s lame speech, it was truly not worth it. It seemed like despite his temperament becoming much calmer than before, he was still far from the stage of being able to controlling his emotions. Especially when it came to sensitive topics, it was still hard for him to restrain himself.
After calming his thoughts, Yang Chen finally noticed where he parked. He looked around him and was stunned. It was actually the area with the streetside stalls where he had come with Mo Qianni twice. Nearby the river were several bright lights, indicating that the business of the streetside stalls were as flourishing as ever.
Having drunk so much alcohol and dumping a pile of words because of Zeng Xinlin, Yang Chen felt hungry. He suddenly thought of the Sis Xiang’s roadside stall where he ate with Mo Qianni, and slowly walked in that direction relying on his memory.
Two minutes later, Yang Chen arrived at Sis Xiang’s roadside stall which hadn’t gone through much changes. Sis Xiang had a forehead full of sweat and wore a red apron. Seeing Yang Chen walk over, she immediately recognized him and passionately greeted,
Isn’t it Little Yang? You must be hear to look for Ni-zi!
Yang Chen was puzzled by Sis Xiang’s greeting, but following the direction Sis Xiang pointed, he surprisingly found Mo Qianni, wearing a white dress with black polka dots, sitting in the corner of the roadside stall. She was alone with a table of dishes, leisurely pouring a drink with high alcohol content for herself.
Mo Qianni’s posture was very graceful. Although she was eating at an ordinary and crude roadside stall alone, it all seemed so effortless to her. It was as if she was drinking aged wine that costed thousands while eating top-grade caviar that was more expensive than gold.
Yang Chen couldn’t help but think of a saying: A lady as lonely as smoke.
