Chapter 43: Take another journey

For Heliga, this is where he struggles most.
I was too naive.
I don't know when it started, whether it was intentional or unintentional, the power in my own consciousness was used as a bargaining chip by myself.
In fact, I also unconsciously rely on it consciously or unconsciously.
The ability to practice martial arts is because of the rapid understanding of martial arts brought about by this power; the ability to be unharmed in that ancient city is because of the first awakening of this power. After that, whether it was saving Aya and Xiaodi in Crossbell, or the adventure with the wolf in the mountains of the autonomous prefecture, or meeting Vulcan, he helped in his regiment until now-
When did I start to regard it as "own power"?
On the battlefield a few days ago, the self-righteous himself messed up the matter again, and it was the power that came forward to save himself.
But this time, he finally understood one thing.
That power does not belong to him.
That power belongs to Bernardo, to the "Dragonborn" who came from nowhere.
If it weren’t for him, maybe he’d just be an ordinary local nobleman, and he would learn how to manage his own territory like his father, and then wait for his father to take over when he gets old, find a wife who is the right one, and then Live this life peacefully.
However, I thought that someone with special abilities would be a specialone...
It's ridiculous.
Perhaps this is the end of everything.
I haven't figured out what to do next, but it's time to end this farce called practice.
From the beginning, I was not a talented person, and everything was the power of another person, which was manifested in myself.

"This situation, you also expected it?" Mini Menier ridiculed Bernardo. The two have been somewhere in this dark space, observing the boy's every move.
"... To be honest, no." Bernardo scratched his head, "I didn't expect this child to have a slender heart, so that he was so stubborn... It seems that he hasn't thought about what his teachers taught him. Get up."
"Then what do you do? If he gives up all these efforts, won't we be trapped here forever?"
"No, no." Bernardo said firmly, "The Elder Scrolls will not go wrong in this sense."
"It's also possible that your own judgment was wrong. Maybe you are destined to not be Milac's opponent."
"In that case, you and I should become part of him now, instead of maintaining a state of being dead or alive here!"
"Okay... OK, so what are you going to do?"
"We don't have the means to actively communicate with him... and to be honest, I don't think his idea is wrong. And it will happen sooner or later. In his subconscious, he already regards our power as his own possession. ."
"What's the matter, you don't agree with him thinking this way?" Mini Menier continued to mock. "When you took our power, you didn't think about it like this. Didn't you expect to have today?"
"No... I didn't mean that." Bernardo raised his forehead. "When I first merged with your power, my way of thinking and thinking was often influenced by you, and sometimes I would be like this. But then I thought. One point is that, no matter who or what this power belongs to, it is only power after all. The problem with Heliga is... he hasn’t understood what this power means at all, nor has he really thought about what to do with it. , But just treat it as a different label from others, a privilege, a life-saving capital..."
"According to your words, that is, he doesn't really "have" this power. "
"Yeah..." Bernardo lowered his head, "Before I mastered your power, I also demolished the walls of Longxiao Palace in my rage, provoked that Marvin Blackthorn, and went to follow me recklessly. The entire Dark Brotherhood is doing it right... At that time I couldn't control your power, but I was overwhelmed by the legend of "Dragonborn"... Before I met Master Jeter, I was in no better situation than he is now. How many. "
"But that great sword singer saved you, didn't he?" Minnie Menier no longer looked arrogant when he mentioned the Red Guardian sword saint.
"Yes. Now this kid also has excellent teachers and friends... so he must be able to... Oh, look, the girl has spoken."
"Ok?"
—
"What are you talking about?"
"So, it is my responsibility to fail to stop the leader... If I..."
"So, what are you talking about?"
"If I tell my true identity—"
"No, it's not like that. Heliga, calm down and listen to me." Martha was very calm at the moment, "I joined the group not much earlier than you... Wait, you never seem to officially join the group... Forget it, in short, although I don't seem to be a very experienced member of the team, I can guarantee that few people know the members better than I do.
"I can see what kind of person the team leader is. He is a bold and a little uncute uncle. He always smiles and looks amiable. Although he is a notorious hunter in the eyes of ordinary people, but "Ehrengam" is an outlier among the hunting soldiers. It only accepts missions such as adventure, and never participates in drugs, arms trading, and murderous industries...
"It's just, maybe everyone didn't notice it, but I can feel it, the commander...sometimes when he is alone, or when faced with difficult situations on the battlefield, he will also reveal something unknown to everyone. On the one hand. The expression of wanting to turn everything into scorched earth, enjoying the moment of life and death...
"I think, the commander, maybe he is not an "ordinary" adventurer at all...Before "Ehrengam", he was a traditional hunter, isn't he? In this sense, it was a mistake for him to form "Ehrengam" for some reason...a person who has never really overcome the dark side of his heart, a person who has never really embraced the light, People who have never wanted to pass, such a person, it is impossible to bring a group like "Ehrengam" well.
"He is a hunter in his bones, so he will never be satisfied with just "appropriate adventures", despite what he said. Regardless of your interference, he will eventually follow the same path... This is determined by his nature, not your responsibility.
"In fact, all of us should thank you. It was you who discovered the enemy's traces while preparing for the war, which made the regimental commander vigilant, temporarily changed the deployment, which made our sacrifices lower; it was you who defeated the enemy alone on the battlefield. The enemy makes most people no longer have to charge their opponents to block their lives. Thank you for all this."
Martha finished speaking this long paragraph calmly, staring at the young man who was in a trance: "So, you don't have to take all the responsibility on yourself?"
"..." Haili closed his eyes, the blood vessels on his eyelids beating gently.
After a long time, he said with difficulty: "Then...what are you going to do with the rest of you?"
"I plan to go back to my hometown." Martha said bitterly. "Although it is the hometown of hunger and poverty... the others don't know, but I guess they will choose to join the new hunting group."
"Your hometown... the old Principality of Northumbria?" Heilija had heard of it, that it was the area destroyed by the huge ancient relic "Salt Piles" and the place where the term "Northern Hunter" was born.
"...Yes. I think, after experiencing the life of hunting soldiers, I should also understand that I can't let go of everything like other fellow villagers, and become a real hunter to help my hometown... What I should do is myself To help people in my hometown."
"...Your own way?"
"Yes. I am not the type of person who can go to the battlefield, so I hope to return to my hometown and help the people there to survive winter night after winter. If someone falls ill, I will help cook a bowl of hot porridge and fry. A pot of herbs; if someone catches a cold, I will send a bowl of hot water and put on a cold coat. I can't exchange my blood for a lot of wealth on the battlefield to save my hometown, but at least, there are things I can do. "
Masha's eyes were firm, and she looked directly at the young man in front of her: "Of course, so are you."
"This is Martha's choice. After experiencing all this, she has already understood her path forward." The archbishop's voice suddenly appeared, "She has signed up for the nun training course here. When she finishes her studies, she will The day she returned to her hometown."
"Ah..." There was a ripple in Heliga's heart. He was happy for Martha. "Congratulations, Martha."
"Don't be busy caring about others...what about yourself?" the archbishop said earnestly, "what are your plans?"
Yes? What is it now?
I once wanted to give up, but now I hesitate again.
Martha's assessment of the leader...not to make excuses for herself, but that she did have that kind of intuition in her heart, and Martha was probably in the truth.
After listening to Martha's next ideals and goals, the hesitation and hesitation became even heavier.
If you really give up everything and choose to go back to your hometown to be a turtle with your head...
Even if the father and mother were willing to welcome them home unconditionally... Then, what would Master Alside, Master Yun, Arios, Laura, and other brothers and sisters who get along day and night think?
Thinking of Laura's disappointed eyes and the helpless sigh of Viscount Alside, Heliga's heart became entangled again.
What's more, does this really work?
Bernardo didn't want to stay there, he was trying to find a way to break through, and he was the only person he could communicate with, in other words, his only hope. If he gave up directly, what would he do? After all, he also saved his benefactor several times.
The most important thing is that in my own heart... what do I think?
Martha-she comes from the poor Northumpulia region. Most of the fertile soil there was completely destroyed, and countless refugees were displaced. Almost all young people unanimously chose the same path: to become hunters, to go to the battlefield in exchange for enough commissions to provide relief to their hometowns that are no longer productive.
She has found her own brand new path, and eagerly, gearing up to meet new challenges.
Seeing her like this, how can I return to my hometown with peace of mind at this moment and escape everything that I dare not face?
In a daze, he remembered what those mentors and helpful friends had said.
"Listen, power is power. In any case, its use depends on the person in charge." This is the teaching of the Light Swordsmith.
"Every scene in this world has its own uniqueness... The same is true for yourself. So, don’t be arbitrarily influenced by the ideas of others... Of course, everything in this world is also closely related, and therefore, those You must also consider carefully what people closely related to you say to you." This is Jian Xian's guidance.
"No one can fully understand another person, but you should also pay attention to those who have really crossed something, what they say will definitely make sense." This is the experience taught by the Wind Sword Master.
"No matter who or what this power belongs to, it's just power after all." The last sentence was a subconscious mind in his mind madly reminding him--
Yeah...it is so.
From the beginning, I shouldn't entangle these messy things.
Isn't the purpose of coming out by myself to learn to "master" this power?
Now, he has taken the first step and learned the source of this power. This is already a very big progress...but myself, why did I suddenly get into the horns?
Yes, before I know it, I regard this unknown power as my own possession... But under the influence of this power, I can still have a certain ability of judgment and brains, which is not something worth showing off. ?
The road is still long and far away, and no one knows what strange dangers will be encountered in the future. I cannot guarantee that I will not make any mistakes, and I will inevitably encounter even more sad and lost moments in the future. But it is the precious experience brought about by this process of overcoming all difficulties and overcoming oneself, that is truly one's precious wealth.
Heliga opened his eyes again.
The difference is that in the eyes this time, there is not only hope, but also a certain will gradually strengthened.
"I will not stop taking risks."
"I will... stick to it."
Heliga never felt that he had such a strong desire to become stronger.
Somewhere in the dim world, Bernardo's mouth finally showed a relaxed smile.
P.S: It is the first time to write this kind of chapter with a large character monologue. It has been changed and changed, but there are still some dissatisfaction...
P.S2: After dragging for 10w, the heroine was drunk and failed to show her face. On the contrary, Martha, the transitional character I came up with temporarily, grabbed the role of the scene... Or just do the fake show and add Martha to the outline. ?