Chapter 233

: English Idiot
Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
It was the early morning of the next day.
These days, the sun came up later and later. Though he didn’t want to leave his bed and had been struggling for a while, Zhang Zian woke up on time. He sat on the edge of his bed, yawned, and put on his clothes slowly.
In the dark bedroom, a pair of blue eyes suddenly lit up, gazing at him viciously.
What the hell! Zhang Zian was almost scared to death and nearly yelled for help. What kind of monster was that?
He looked carefully. It turned out to be Snowy Lionet, who looked fierce and tried to intimidate him. From its behavior and its look, Zhang Zian understood the message Snowy Lionet was trying to convey—
You jerk! Don’t make any noise. If you disrupt My Majesty in her sleep, I will have you castrated!

Last night, Snowy Lionet insisted on staying with Fina, even though Fina would not let it on her princess bed. Snowy Lionet ended up lying under the princess bed and kept Fina company.
Zhang Zian was very reluctant to let Snowy Lionet into his bedroom because it was very dangerous! A lesbian cat that hated men with a passion and kept threatening to castrate him slept in the same bedroom as he… Luckily, Fina was there too, so Snowy Lionet probably would not make its move while Fina was present.
At that moment, Snowy Lionet was lying on a blanket very close to Fina’s princess bed and stared at Zhang Zian cautiously, like a faithful shepherd dog.
He worried before whether Snowy Lionet would feel freezing, but looking at its snowy white long fur, which could hide eggs in it, he knew that his concern was unnecessary. Besides, Snowy Lionet was too passionate. It would be nice if it could cool down a little bit.
Zhang Zian didn’t want to cause any trouble, so he tiptoed into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth.
When he came out from the bathroom, Fina had just woken up. She stretched and pulled open the curtains of its princess bed.

Your majesty! Aren’t you going to sleep a little longer? I will make sure that no one will bother you while you are sleeping!
Snowy Lionet tried to curry favor with Fina and expressed its loyalty.

That would be unnecessary. I don’t want to be mocked by this ordinary person because of my snoozing.
Fina glanced coldly at Zhang Zian.
Zhang Zian thought to himself,
Don’t you usually go back to your bed to sleep a whole day after finishing your breakfast?

He wasn’t stupid enough to let that spill out.
Zhang Zian came downstairs. Galaxy and Old Time Tea had already woken up. Richard was standing on the metal rail of the French glass door. Seeing that Zhang Zian was walking downstairs, Richard cleared its throat, and said,

Gaga! Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning!

Galaxy and Old Time Tea were confused; they didn’t understand the implication in this sentence.
Zhang Zian pointed at Richard,
You think I don’t understand your dirty joke because it’s in English?
Richard was not satisfied only presenting its skills in Chinese puns, so it showed off by also making puns in English now.
Richard raised its wing and pointed at him, pretended it was surprised.
Quack? Jeff, I thought you were an idiot when it came to English. Yesterday, you acted like you were an English idiot!

Zhang Zian defended himself,
Hey, I passed College English Test Band 4! I’m not an English idiot! My poor performance yesterday was because… What was that word again?


Psittacosis,
said Richard easily.

Right, that word is a tongue twister. Seriously, Guo Dongyue and Sun Xiaomeng didn’t make this word up to make fun of me, right? They can’t bully me because I don’t study as much as they do!
he said indignantly.
Richard covered its face with its wings:
What a fool! Psittacosis is a word composed of two roots — ‘psitta’ and ‘cosis’. ‘Psitta’ stands for ‘parrot’, and ‘cosis’ means ‘lesion’. Together, they mean ‘parrot fever’, which totally conforms to the rules of word coinage in English. So, there is no way this word is made up! Jeff, you are so ignorant, I’m so embarrassed for you. Didn’t you feel ashamed in front of Guo Dongyue and Sun Xiaomeng?

Zhang Zian screamed inside,
How many Chinese people really know about this English word? You think every Chinese person has passed the Grade 8 Test for English Majors?


You can’t compare me with them!
He tried to defend himself,
Sun Xiaomeng is a veterinarian who reads English literature on a daily basis, while Guo Dongyue has studied abroad. I’m just a pet shop owner. I learned English before, but I forgot most of it.


Quack! Quack! No need to belittle yourself! On a scale from 1 to 10, your English level is 1, and they are at level 10. It’s no big deal.
Richard said in a plain voice, and turned around to peck and comb the feathers on its back.

They are ten times better than me! Still not a reason to look down on myself?
Zhang Zian wanted to cry.
Richard pulled off a short feather that had split at the end, and spit it onto the ground.
Well, the maximum score is 100. From my perspective, you three are on the same level. Your English levels are just so poor, like rubbish.


Hey, you should put that in the garbage can,
Zhang Zian complained while staring at the feather that landed on the ground.

Why? You need to sweep the floor every morning anyways.
Richard didn’t give a damn.
Jeff, you are too detail oriented, which will make it difficult for you to find a boyfriend.


I don’t need boyfriends! And you promised me to help me find multiple girlfriends in 3 months! If you can’t keep your promise, you are doomed!
Zhang Zian threatened Richard.

Quack! Quack! Never mind.
Richard changed the subject.
Trust me and listen to my words, and you will see the benefits when the time comes.

Zhang Zian couldn’t believe anything Richard said.
He drove Richard away from the rail and opened the shutter door, letting fresh air come in.
He wondered whether he was influenced by what Sun Xiaomeng had said yesterday, but he felt that since Richard arrived at his pet shop, the air in his shop had become quite dirty—literally and figuratively.
It didn’t matter if cats or dogs shed their fur, because they had long and soft fur. But the feather-dust that fell from parrots and pigeons were fine particles like PM2.5, which would float in the air and be inhaled into people’s lungs. Of course, keeping one or two parrots would be fine; as long as frequent ventilation was guaranteed, the damage would be minor compared to indoor smoking.
Fina came down from the second floor at a slow pace, followed closely by Snowy Lionet.

When will I have my breakfast?
Fina yawned and jumped to the highest rack on the cat tree. Fina sniffed, but there was no delicious smell of barbecue. Snowy Lionet struggled and jumped up to the second highest rack on the cat tree, laying satisfyingly beneath Fina’s tail.

You only care about eating and sleeping…
Zhang Zian lowered his voice and murmured to himself.
He took out his wallet and counted the money in it.
Uncle Li and Aunt Li accepted online transfer, but they seemed to prefer cash, so he always paid them with cash.
He took a hundred yuan from his wallet and walked to the cat tree. He unfolded the money and showed it to Fina.
You see that? You probably don’t know this, but there is a cat hidden in this bill!