Chapter 19:

He flexed his knuckles again, and touched her cheek affectionately with the back of his hand, and the next second he rubbed it again, as if reluctant to leave.
. ...
It wasn't until the two of them walked to the entrance of the hospital that Zhang Man recovered, so he blushed shamefully. Even in his previous life, he rarely did such affectionate behavior to her. The only hug in her memory was because she almost fell, and he just hugged her without letting go.
Such an active and intimate touch made her heart pounding.
She couldn't help but squeezed her cheeks reddened by him, and her heart was upset. He... what does this mean?
The boy didn't speak, and kept walking in front of her, and she could not see his expression.
She hurried to follow, and when she walked to the intersection, she remembered the main business of the hospital today.
"Li Wei, I'm going to see a relative in the inpatient department in a while. You can go home first."
The young man looked back at her. Although there was still no expression on her face, there was a warm red sun in her eyes. He was wearing a clean, pure white T-shirt, with the sunset behind him. The orange-toned sunlight blurs the lines of his whole person, with a soft temperature.
He looked at her and curled his lips slightly: "Well, call me if you have something."
Then he turned and left.
"Wait..." Zhang Man grabbed the corner of the boy's clothes
"You... just... what do you mean?"
The voice was getting smaller and smaller, and the last word was so low that she could hardly hear her. She was annoyed in her heart...It was too impulsive.
"You said just...?" The young man turned around, asked with a face on his face, stretched out his left hand, opened his thumb and index finger, and made a pinch motion in the void.
Zhang Man's face burst into red with a brush.
"Your face is dusty. You rubbed it twice and didn't rub it off, but don't worry, it rubbed off for the third time."
His expression was serious, and he nodded to her to express a double affirmation, as if he was dealing with a physics problem strictly.
Zhang Man: "..."
. ...
When Li Wei was taken away, she returned to the hospital.
She checked it on the Internet before she came. The psychiatric department of this hospital in N City is very famous in the province, especially there are a few returnee experts and professors.
Psychiatry is different from internal medicine and surgery. There are not many people who see a doctor. She hung up an expert number downstairs, and she was called after waiting for more than ten minutes.
The specialist she registered was a female doctor, probably in her thirties and very young. However, according to Zhang Man’s online information, she had spent seven or eight years studying in the United States as a doctor and postdoc for schizophrenia. He has a lot of clinical experience and academic accumulation, and he has very old qualifications in psychiatry.
"Little girl, what problem do you have?"
The female doctor’s smile was gentle, her temperament was like water, she was very tolerant when she spoke, and made people want to confide in her heart.
Zhang Man sat down opposite her: "Doctor, it's not my problem, it's my friend. He has a very serious paranoia, and he is completely unaware of it. What should I do in such a situation?"
The doctor asked her about Li Wei's specific situation and took careful notes.
After about half an hour, the doctor gave some advice.
"According to the statistical analysis of psychiatric clinical data, this kind of delusion like him is very rare. There are two causes, the main reason is hereditary brain damage, which is hereditary schizophrenia. And this kind of delusion that he exhibits is also very rare. External incentives, such as childhood misfortune, almost autistic social status, and withdrawn personality. For example, people who have been in the desert for a long time will have the illusion of seeing an oasis."
"That's the case. According to your description, apart from the symptoms of delusion, your friend has not lost his sense of reason and interest, has not caused suspiciousness, mania, depression, etc., and has not affected normal learning and life. The current drug treatment is in The clinical effect on patients with delusions is not significant, and given that your friend is still in high school, taking very targeted medicine will cause certain damage to his memory and understanding."
"Furthermore, you mentioned that he had no knowledge of his suffering from delusion. This kind of disease with very strong psychological factors, if treated rashly, would trigger strong psychological resistance and cause more serious mental damage. So. My current recommendation is not to take medication for now."
"But you must always pay attention to his condition. If it affects his study, life, or produces corresponding depressive symptoms, please be sure to take him to the hospital. Before that, I hope that friends and classmates can give him full tolerance and tolerance. Guide, let him feel the warmth in real life. After a long time, his loneliness and trauma will gradually fade, and perhaps the symptoms will be reduced."
The doctor's account was very detailed, which gave her a more complete understanding of Li Wei's entire condition. She did not blindly prescribe medicine to the patient, but made appropriate judgments based on his own situation.
Zhang Man returned home and lay on the bed to organize his thoughts.
In fact, what the doctor said is basically the same as the information she checked before. In other words, medication is really not recommended at this stage. It will not be too late for him to take medication to suppress his mental illness one day after he can recognize his mental illness. .
But the doctor's words also opened her up a new way of thinking. She had previously thought about how to treat his delusion, but now she suddenly had another idea.
Li Wei's delusion is most likely because he has suffered too many blows and changes in real life. A person grows up to sixteen or seventeen, but he has never felt the warmth of the world and kindness to him, so his delusion is actually self-protection.
So does it mean that if she can give him more warmth and make him feel that in real life there are people who love him deeply, caring for him all the time, and thinking about him, will it happen naturally? What about those delusions?
She made up her mind to be nice to him every day, and if he wanted it, even if it were the stars in the sky, she wanted to pick him up.
As long as you don't lose him suddenly and forever like in your previous life, you will fall into an endless nightmare ever since.
. ...
In the next few days, Zhang Man did not go to Li Wei's home to make up classes, but stayed at home to practice the National Day performance.
She practiced day and night every day, and Zhang Huifang was agitated when the frequency increased.
Zhang Huifang asked casually and was shocked when she knew she was going to perform on stage.
"Zhang Man, you don't have a fever? I remember when you were in junior high school, you were unwilling to let my friend play a song in public when my friend came to the house. Performing on stage? Didn't you say it was harder than killing you?"
Zhang Man has always been very axis. He is stubborn and doesn't know who to follow. People who don't want to die will not agree with him. She is taciturn and doesn't like to be pushy. She can't wait to hide herself tightly in the crowd, without any sense of existence.
Zhang Huifang also had a headache about this in the past. How could she give birth to such a dull gourd because of such a turmoil.
Zhang Man didn't tell her the truth: "It's nothing, there is a shortage of people in the class."
Zhang Huifang snorted, sitting on the sofa with Erlang's legs up, picking up the nails that he had just made two days ago: "You are the only person on earth, you are the only one left on the earth, and you don't care about it. It’s your turn to go to the rescue if you are short of people? Who are you lie to. Let’s talk, is it in love?"
Zhang Man was a little speechless, as expected to be someone who had been in love so many times, but her mind was keen: "No talk."
Zhang Huifang obviously didn't believe it, and blew the broken hair between his forehead that blocked his sight: "You don't want to pull it down, I'm too lazy to care about you."
During this period of time, Zhang Huifang went out quite often, but she hadn't heard that she had a new relationship. She probably hadn't met Zheng Zhi's scumbag yet.
Zhang Man remembers that her last relationship should have just ended three months ago. The other party's name is Xu Shang, who runs a 4S shop. When the two are together, he is almost obedient to Zhang Huifang.
Zhang Man was a little puzzled when she broke up with him, but when she asked her, he only said that the two of them had different personalities.
Zhang Man didn't believe it, thinking that Zhang Huifang must be bored again.
Over the years, she has changed boyfriends one after another. Every time she said that her personality was inconsistent, or her life pattern was inconsistent, and her three views were inconsistent, Zhang Man seemed to say that someone who is the most lover like her must have fallen into it at a certain moment. Love is in full swing, but at a certain moment it gets bored, so there is no way to stop it and kick others.
She has always closed one eye to her messy things, as long as it doesn't affect her life, she doesn't bother to care.
In the evening, Zhang Man practiced the piano and his fingertips were painful, so he had to temporarily stop practicing and fell on the bed to rest.
Zhang Huifang knocked on her door and gave her a skirt.
"Zhang Man, aren't you going to perform on stage? I used to wear this skirt a lot. It's my shirt. Pass it to you and make sure to make you the focus of the audience."
Zhang Man pinched the skirt with two fingers, gently shaken it off, and raised his eyebrows looking at the pitiful fabric.
I have never heard of a mother who would let her underage daughter wear this kind of clothes.
Zhang Huifang was taken aback when she saw it turned out to be this one after she unfolded it, and then immediately grabbed it back with an embarrassing expression: "You got it wrong, you got it wrong, wait a minute."
As she spoke, she went back to her room and turned over for a while and found another dress, the same color as the one just now.
Zhang Man took a closer look. The black modern improved version of the cheongsam has the right waist waist design, exquisite buckles, and high slits on the bottom until it reaches the middle of the thigh.
Although it is a cheongsam style, the whole design is very modern. It looks like the lady chaebol who advocated Western culture in the Republic of China would wear it. It will not go against the English song she wants to sing.
Generally speaking, it is a very temperamental dress. He should... and think it looks good, right?
So Zhang Man accepted it unceremoniously.
Tomorrow was the seventh, she turned on the phone and sent a text message to Li Wei.
"Remember the National Day Parade tomorrow afternoon."
I will wait for you.
She still has so many words to tell him directly, she wants to sing to him.
She turned off the phone, stood by the window, and suddenly remembered that he said seriously that day that he helped her to wipe the dust off her face.
Zhang Man couldn't help but chuckle, and shook his head helplessly. He is such a person, seeking truth from facts, how can he have so many crooked minds.
But she is different from others. He is willing to buy a mobile phone for her, step out of the narrow autistic life circle, and is also willing to reach out to wipe the dust off her cheeks.
She was different in his heart after all.
It would be great if he could never suffer from pain and depression and continue to do this. The two of them stayed flat for a lifetime, and one day he would realize that he liked her.
Whether it was him who was a little green when he was young, he who was high-spirited when he was middle-aged, or he who was gray-haired, deep and wise, she wanted to always be with him.
Don't stop abruptly at his best age.