Chapter 51:

Time passed day by day, and the New Year was about to come, and Zhang Man still did not contact Li Wei. He seemed to have completely disappeared from her world.
City N, which had been dry for many days, suddenly began to rain in the afternoon of the New Year's Eve.
Zhang Huifang went to the vegetable market to buy groceries. In the evening, the mother and daughter agreed that they would go to Uncle Xu’s house for the New Year.
Zhang Man was lying on the bed, listening to the rain outside.
In the community downstairs, a few naughty boys are setting off firecrackers. It takes a lot of energy to light a firecracker on such a wet rainy day-it takes time and effort, but they still have fun.
This age is really good, carefree, no need to worry about anything, listening to the firecrackers, simple happiness can last for a long time.
Zhang Man looked at the window sill, because most of the Phalaenopsis had withered because it had not been watered for several days.
Twelve days.
It has been twelve days since he left her.
When I was with him, every day passed very quickly, but since he left, the days have started counting and passing by with his fingers.
"Zizi."
The phone on the bedside suddenly vibrated. Zhang Man bounced like an electric shock and quickly took the phone and opened it.
It is the year-end bill of mobile users.
She stared at the text message for a long time.
Disappointed?
She curled her mouth and smiled.
She didn't seem to be disappointed, she didn't seem to expect it to be him.
With the passage of time, her expectations were gradually declining. Perhaps one day, she suddenly accepted his departure.
The hardest thing every day now is to watch the news from different places.
Weibo, newspapers, Netease News... She browses the news through various channels every day. She is trembling with fear, and she forces herself to read it.
Fortunately, fortunately, I haven't seen the report that makes her worry all the time.
There are no such words as "juvenile suicide" or "depression suicide".
Zhang Man sat up, bent his legs, and buried his face in his knees.
It really takes a lot of courage to find someone. Zhang Huifang said that the grandmother and family in the next unit have sold their house and are looking for their children.
She is the same, she really went to many places in order to find him.
Two days ago, she even went to Z City alone.
She went to the aquarium and walked through all the venues alone. She thought he might go there. She didn't dare to blink her eyes. She kept looking for it, and she didn't see any performances or events.
She also went to the hotel where the two of them had been together. The old man heard her say that he couldn't stay in the hotel, but he asked people and said coldly that he had never seen him.
She was worried that he would lie to her and squatted at the door of the hotel, waiting for several hours.
It's still snowing in Z city, and the temperature is seven or eight degrees below zero, and it is utterly cold.
She didn't wear the earmuffs he gave her, and the cold sea breeze was blowing her ears, and the piercing pain made her to some extent divert her despair and helplessness.
The harder thing is to miss him.
Thinking of him all the time, like now.
How is he doing alone.
Have you eaten well, have you gone out to sunbathe, have you gone to the hospital for treatment every day, listen to the doctor’s advice, and take your medicine as he said in his email?
She wanted to tell him that depression requires more exposure to the sun. It takes a look at the sun to feel hope in life.
N City and Z City, either rain or snow, have no sun.
At this moment, she even thought, fortunately, he was not in N City and went to another city.
Maybe the city he is in is different from N City and Z City, or maybe the city he is in has sunshine.
and many more……
Fortunately, he is not in N City.
How can she be sure that he is not in N City?
Zhang Man suddenly raised his head.
He said in the email that he would go to other cities for treatment.
Since she saw his email, she firmly believed that he had gone to another city. What's more, when I went to his house that time, the neighbor said that he went out with a big suitcase, which made her mind fixed again.
Suddenly, he flashed the information he had in the police station that day. The information showed that he did not have any travel records of planes or trains.
impossible.
If he wants her to be unable to find him at all, he will definitely go far away, so how can he take a car.
He could not choose this inefficient and slow method.
Therefore, there is only one possibility.
He lied to her.
He is still in N City at all.
He deliberately guided her thinking, but hid in the place closest to her.
Zhang Man's heart trembled, her temples throbbed, and she immediately jumped up from the bed and went downstairs.
On New Year's Eve, even a car can't be hit on the road.
She got on the bus. This year, not every household in N City has a car. There are a lot of people who buy Chinese New Year goods by bus, and there is no place. She stood all the way, squeezed out of breath, and finally got to Li Wei's house.
I eagerly took the elevator upstairs and rang the doorbell frantically, but there was still no response.
Zhang Man bit his lip without giving up.
She thought about it, and knocked on the door of the next door.
It was the aunt who opened the door last time, and she obviously remembered her.
"Little girl, haven't found your boyfriend yet? Auntie hasn't seen him recently, she probably didn't come back."
Zhang Man suddenly frustrated and sat down on the steps uncomfortably.
Could it be that she was wrong? He actually went to another city?
Impossible, it should be correct.
If he is still in N City and does not live at home, where can he live?
Her thoughts were extremely confused, and there was a flash of light in her mind, remembering what he said while standing on the balcony that day.
"Don't worry... the balcony back then is not in this home."
"That year...before the accident, our family lived in another place..."
No, Li Wei's house is in N City, and there is more than one house.
She immediately turned on the phone and called Chen Feier.
"Mayfair, do you know some classmates who lived in the same community with Li Wei's family as a child?"
Chen Feier heard her about Li Wei's situation before, and knew that she had been looking for him, so she immediately hung up and asked her.
Soon, Zhang Man got the address. It was a luxury villa area in N City, far away from the city, facing the most beautiful and clean sea in N City in winter.
Zhang Man took a deep breath.
She stood up for a long time, and the dizziness in her head lingered for a long time.
She leaned on the handle of the stairs, resisted the intense dizziness in her head and walked down, her legs trembling uncontrollably.
She is too tired, both physically and mentally. In the past few days, looking for him has become a habit in her life.
If you can find him this time, how good would it be?
When she finds him, she will start to eat well and sleep well.
I can no longer torture myself like these days.
...
There is no direct bus to the villa area, and Zhang Man can't get a taxi, so he can only take the bus to the nearest station there. She glanced at the phone map, there were three kilometers left.
Three kilometers.
Only three kilometers.
Zhang Man looked at the winding road and shook her head and smiled. Fortunately, the rain stopped. Otherwise, she didn't even bring an umbrella, so she was embarrassed.
The winding road is close to the mountain and built on the blue sea.
This sea is different from the bay where people come and go in the center of N city. It is very quiet. Large expanses of golden sandy beaches have not been developed or disturbed by tourists, exuding primitive and wild beauty. At the moment the sun is setting, and the street lights on both sides of the road are gradually lighting up every ten meters.
The sea is still ebbing at this time, doing the simplest harmonic motion.
The original nature seems to have isolated the festive atmosphere of human society.
Whether it is New Year's Eve or an ordinary day, it is the same for it.
The villa area is on the hillside. There are no sidewalks on this road. It seems that it is not built for walkers. In the villa area on the hillside, which family will have no cars. Zhang Man walked along the deserted winding mountain road. The icy wind made her breathe hard and her knees began to ache.
Mountain climbing is always much slower than walking on a flat road. After more than an hour, the night darkened, and Zhang Man finally saw the brightly lit villa area.
The residential area has a sense of luxury with a faint age, with unique buildings standing on the mountainside, overlooking the entire N City.
The gate of the community had to be swiped. Zhang Man waited at a remote place at the gate. After a few minutes, someone finally came in. She immediately followed an owner into the community.
The villa area is not too big, with dozens of households in total. She walked up the path, one by one facing the house number.
Five buildings, seven buildings, nine buildings.
right here.
The villa in front of you occupies a large area, and the shape is very luxurious and elegant. The huge courtyard has no walls and is designed in the style of a small European garden with a very old wooden swing inside. In the yard, the two-story bungalows are milky white and exquisite.
There are no lights in the villa.
Zhang Man stood at the door at a loss, the night air was cold, and the cold air from the trachea to the lungs was irritated by the cold air, and the pain was terrible.
She squatted down slowly, holding her head, breathing deeply and helplessly.
Walking so far in the extremely cold weather, her head became more and more dizzy at this moment.
But the discomfort of the body is nothing compared to the collapse of the heart again.
Every window of this villa is drawn with curtains, which is different from the houses around it with colorful lights and red lanterns, and it looks lifeless.
Obviously there is no owner.
he's not here.
Zhang Man squatted at the door, grabbing the clothes on her chest, and feeling the pain of her heartbeat through a few layers of fabric, she guessed wrong.
Boundless despair hits like a tide.
Where are you... Why can't I find you... I have walked so much, and I have to watch the news and watch the mobile phone every day, worrying about everything that might happen.
Why don't you just give me a message?
Even if you don't tell me where you are, can't you report your safety? I just want to know if you are safe and if you have a good meal.
If you are like this, how can you make me live...
I can’t eat or sleep every day, I can think of you when I close my eyes, and I want to find you when I open my eyes... I am hopeful and disappointed again and again, if more times, I’m afraid of my life, I can't find you anymore.
How should I live the rest of the day? Or, like in the previous life, silly to live to more than 30, will he live on the spot?
It’s the Chinese New Year today, and every household has hung red lanterns. Why are you alone?
Zhang Man finally once again, desperately, cried bitterly at the gate of that courtyard.
"Boom..."
At this time, the sudden loud noise frightened her.
When she turned her head, it turned out that someone set off a firework on the coast.
Big red fireworks exploded in the dark sky, and a perfect, huge flower appeared-it seemed to celebrate the past of the year and the beginning of the new year.
Stars of sparks then landed and disappeared into the dark night, full of the best wishes for the New Year from the people who worked hard for a year.
Zhang Man rubbed his eyes.
The young man she was thinking of was standing at the intersection not far away, standing under the red fireworks, looking at her deeply.
Although the hair is messy, shaggy, and shabby, but fortunately, there are no missing arms or legs.
Zhang Man stood up, breathing very lightly, wiping away tears.
The complaining, the painful, the missed, the collapsed, all can't be said at this moment.
She walked over, pulled his sleeves, and pointed at his back.
"Li Wei, look, there are fireworks off the coast, so beautiful."