Chapter 40:

There was silence in the laboratory, and the surroundings were bright like daylight.
The two looked at each other, silent and quiet.
Du Ruo stared at him, he did not speak, and did not respond, like a robot that suddenly cut off the power.
Jing Ming was unsure, licked his lower lip unconsciously, and said again: "Du Ruochun ..."
In the next second, Du Ruo seemed to be suddenly awakened, quickly zip up the schoolbag, and said, "I don't like you." After speaking, he flew back with his schoolbag on his back.
Jing Ming unexpectedly, his eyebrows frowned instantly: "do not say clearly what to run ?!" He strode forward, blocking her way.
She looked like a small beast suddenly surrounded by a scared back. She looked at his eyes with a bit of panic, and then immediately opened her eyes and looked away. Cangjie said, "I said it all."
"What did you say?"
"I said I didn't like you." She was holding the laboratory bench beside her, and had not recovered from the shock just now.
"Lying." Jing Ming looked pale.
"No ..." She clenched her straps and tried to break through his defenses, "I really want to go back ..."
He cut her way again, and did not intend to let her go.
She was anxious and panicked, her face flushing with blood: "I really want to go back ..."
"Stop talking!"
"I said it! I don't like it ..." His voice suddenly turned down, and he noticed that his face had changed.
He stood still, bit his lip, looked up at the sky, and smiled angrily.
The next moment, he lowered his head with a dark face, took out a piece of paper from his pocket, unfolded, and slammed before her, almost demonstrating: "I don't like me, what is this?"
Du Ruo hesitated to see a political note in his hand.
Her head blew open, her cheeks red, and she was so irritated that she rushed to take it back.
He raised one hand up, she couldn't reach it, and was anxious and angry. He jumped up and grabbed a corner, and the paper tore instantly.
He froze, quickly holding the paper behind him with one hand, stopping her with one hand, and angrily, "What are you doing!"
With this reprimand, she stopped abruptly and looked up at him. Fear, panic, and helplessness flashed in her eyes, replaced by deep shame, disappointment, and resentment.
"Are you proud?"
He paused.
She was so upset and angry: "Because I like you, are you proud? You think you are amazing, high above you, and I should be here soon?"
Jing Ming's eyes narrowed slightly, and unexpectedly she could also say such sharp words.
And Du Ruo just felt fed up with his humiliation and shivered.
In June, her teeth trembled.
She didn't want to talk to him, she just wanted to escape.
But he blocked in front of her, and she couldn't hide and avoid again. For a long time, the deepest emotions in her heart had been exuded, and she smashed the wall built from the escaping fear:
"I liked you, so what? I don't like you anymore."
"People like you, arrogant and mean, never put people in your eyes. I only like you when I have water in my head!"
Jing Ming blushed to the roots of his ears. Where has he been so much attacked?
He stared at her, extremely embarrassed: "I don't put anyone in my eyes? Uh?"
Her lips trembled and she could not speak.
"Say," he took a step closer to her, leaning slightly, and staring at her with black eyes, "I don't put anyone in my eyes?"
She stubbornly refused to step back, stared at him fiercely, and suddenly said, "I!"
He tickled his lips and taunted, "Yes. But you, I didn't like it and didn't pay attention, wasn't this normal?"
Her eyes widened incredibly and she was deeply stimulated.
He didn't want to be more than half a year later, he would give her a knife again, but he still had the same attitude as before. As if the nightmare repeats itself.
"What kind of person were you at that time, what were your wishes, and what were your goals? Speaking of which is close, passing the exam, applying for a bursary? Speaking of it, graduate smoothly, be a white-collar worker, rent a small house? They are two different worlds. I didn't care about you then, was it normal? "
"Normal!" She pursed her lips stubbornly, but her heart hurt as if stabbed by a sharp blade. "But ... 'Don't like me, I won't like you.'-How much you despise me and look down on me Do you say such a thing? Do you think I am ugly, poor, and ridiculous? I do n’t like it if I do n’t like it, why should I say that to trample on the dignity of others?

It turned out that it did not pass at all.
It was still the scariest past in her life, the scar that was hardest to expose. At this moment, she mentioned that her voice was slightly trembling and her eyes were red.
"You may not be intentional, you are born.
You are born with everything, so you can't see anything inconspicuous, you can't see the pain, struggle, and humbleness of others. I'm not like you, I was born with nothing. Everything I used to have now is my own effort. You are not qualified to laugh at it. You are not that great, you are not a person worthy of me at all. "
The impact on him was no less than a slap in the face.
"Don't pose in a state of deep injury!" Jing Ming said angrily. "Speaking of my arrogance, you're not going anywhere. Clear, fragile, and affectionate. Why did I say that? At that time you liked me What do you like about me? Because you liked me, what did you do, did you confess to me or did you admit it when I asked you? None. If you admit it at the time, I wo n’t confuse that kind of thing.-I Say I won't like you, what's wrong? "
Du Ruo flushed with blood: "Then don't like me now!"
He was silent for a moment, staring at her ruthlessly and hatefully.
And she had quarreled with his confrontation, and she had reached the limit, her eyes were as red as a rabbit. She tried to hold back her tears several times, but she couldn't help it.
She took a hard breath, don't go over, breathing hard, not wanting to look too defeated.
He was still angry, and at the sight of her, he suddenly lost his voice and did not speak for a while. After a long while, I was forced to endure the injustice and said, "There is no way, I'm different from people like you. People like you, huh!"
She immediately turned back and saw his eyes annoyed with annoyance, knowing that he was going to make another arrogant and unreasonable attack, and his whole body of vigilance was raised!
He didn't expect him to sneer coldly: "I'm really curious about people like you. You liked me, then?"
She froze, alert, not understanding what he wanted to say.
"Have you really liked me? How could you give up so easily! It's grievous and hurt, but it's not because I told you the truth, you immediately flinch. Such a shallow love, huh! What do you like I still like a phantom in your heart, an ideal object that you aspire to? Once you find that this person is imperfect and the original person is flawed, you immediately dislike it. "Having said that, he was upset again," Such a low-level like, you're ashamed to say. "
Du Ruo: "Your favorite is very advanced ?!"
He scolded: "Better than you! At least there is a fight now, I still like you!"
She froze in place, her heart trembling, and she was unexpectedly beaten back to her original shape.
Anger and shame were absent for a moment, afraid of panic reoccupying her mind, and her chest was undulating, and she turned away again.
Unconsciously grasping the edge of the table again, the man stepped back.
And he looked at her in a resistive manner, biting his teeth, clearly venting, but he couldn't swallow in a single breath.
The two were again in the beginning of a relative silence, and neither spoke.
As if all were tired, they all felt that such quarrels and vents had no meaning.
The fluorescent lamp lit the laboratory white. They were quiet for a long time, as if to melt in this white light.
Until gradually, she slowly loosened her fingers around the table, and the tide seemed to recede.
Finally, she whispered:
"I don't want to fall in love right now, I don't need it. I'm enjoying myself every day now. I don't want to change my current status ..."
Suddenly I could n’t go on,
She originally thought that she could vent her inner thoughts just as before, but still couldn't say it.
because,
Jing Ming,
You are that leaf, a leaf with a blindfold.
This year when I was in college, I was most free when I didn't like you. Can see too much in life. At that time, I did n’t want to go back because I liked you so much.
I don't want to be with you, to guess, what does the sentence you just said mean, do you like or dislike me? Don't want to recognize you at a glance among so many people in the playground, recognize your clothes, your shadow. I don't want to look at your back, I feel very happy, and follow you behind, even if I will never be found. I don't want to spend time guessing, what are you doing, at home, in the laboratory, or in the dormitory. Have you ever thought of me, cared about me, or did you occasionally feel that I might be so good? I don't want to see a leaf to think of you, to see a dove also to think of you, or to see a treetop or blue sky.
can,
With tears in her mouth, she said nothing, but smiled very lightly, "I just want to be myself. Make myself better. I think this is more important than falling in love with you."
Jing Ming looked at her without refuting, without anger, and for a long time did not speak.
And at this moment, he found that his feelings for her had changed. As if finally seeing clearly, before tonight, he treats her, but it is a kind of superficial emotion that the little child must grab the toy.
But at this moment, the inexplicable pain in his heart made him suddenly cautious and stopped coming forward.
He saw her lowering her head and a tear fell, and he said, "Don't cry."
"I just said it casually, I didn't like it much, didn't say I had to chase you. What are you crying for? I just ..." He stopped and frowned, "OK, don't cry!"
Du Ruo wiped her eyes, clenched the schoolbag strap that she had sewed into a rope, and buried her head out.
He stopped again.
She looked up, red eyes: "I'm going back!"
"It's too late to go together." He took his schoolbag, went out, and turned around at the door, she followed slowly with her head down.
He locked the door.
Late night campus, tree shadows.
In the past, autumn went to winter and spring came to summer solstice.
The road in front of the experimental building changed its scenery, from golden to fallen leaves, from withered to germinated, from new leaves to full bloom. Now the tree crown is like an umbrella, covering the sky.
The milky road lights shuttled between the branches and leaves, sprinkled on the ground like little white stars, and sprinkled on the silent faces of night pedestrians.
Jing Ming and Du Ruo walked on both sides of the road, across a wide distance, all the way in the light and shadow of the sky, without a word, no one looked at anyone.
The campus at night was so peaceful and quiet at night. Unfortunately, no one cares about the scenery. Just like two parallel lines, the two walked from one experimental building to another teaching building, and then from the office area to the playground. The moonlight and the lights were dim. The world is quiet and empty.
Midsummer's night breeze caressed his shirt, her skirt corners, but I wonder if it can smooth the undulating mood in their hearts.
Until approaching the door of her dormitory, the two speeded up their paces by accident, but after all, he was faster, and he strode forward in front of her.
She was still carrying the strap of her schoolbag, her eyes were turned away from him, and she was on guard all over her.
"Du Ruochun." He said flatly, "Don't go. I didn't let you join prime to chase you. I wouldn't be so entangled to work to please girls. Let you join only because you are worthy."
"I need you, prime needs you. I'll just talk about what's happening tonight. It's over tonight and it's over."
He finished talking and didn't stop. gone.
The boy's footsteps went away, she did not look at his back, and walked firmly into the dormitory building.
Leaving empty streets and no people.
Du Ruo went back too late. After registering with the aunt, he walked through the open and quiet hall in the middle of the night, went into the building, and took the elevator.
It seemed that the pain at that time was finally returned, but why?
She burst into tears as the elevator door slammed.