Chapter 70:

Yu Qiu's two hands clenched tightly on Xiao Chunmian, clenching his teeth, and his face looked like a strong man with a tragic look.
The result was after Xiao Chunmian was teased by his look...
...not so painful.
It is completely different from the bad first experience. Xiaochunmiao is very gentle and patient. This time, both hands are as magical as they are, and they will take care of them. Yu Qiu was quickly pulled out from the fear of severe pain, and all of them trembled, not the kind of painful trembling, but a sense of trepidation that had never been experienced.
Once again, he stretched his long, white neck, raised his head high, his lips involuntarily opened, and the shattered sounds. But unlike the previous one, it is totally different. Because the two are very green, the pain is not completely avoided, but it is not unbearable, so those other feelings quickly overwhelmed the pain, sweet, happy, high, eager, numb, People are constantly shuddering. Gradually, the instep was straightened, but the toes couldn't help but curl up, and the arms were always involuntarily coiled behind each other.
Yu Qiu can't describe this feeling, no matter how many times he recalls and then experience it. He is attracted by this happy and strange feeling, affecting, almost forgetting everything, completely immersed in it.
"This is our first time."
After the event, Xiao Chunmian will press in his arms in the autumn, squatting gently on the top of the autumn, repeatedly, extremely remorse and extremely unwilling to recite, "This should be our first time ""
Yu Qiu reached out and touched his face, looked up, and kissed and kissed his mouth.
"Great!" Yu Qiu's voice was dumb, and the body seemed to be wrapped in the lingering aftertaste, with a sweet lazy, reluctantly scorned there. "Great... Spring sleep, great, really great..."
Xiao Chunmian looked at him, his eyes happily picked up because of his frank reaction. Xiao Chunmian kissed Yu Qiu and only felt that he had never experienced such a strong satisfaction in this life.
"You can like me very much, Yu Qiu." Xiao Chunmian swayed in autumn, smiled and suddenly asked, "How do you like me?"
Yu Qiu was on his eyes.
Xiao Chunmian gently opened his eyes, as if he regretted asking the sentence without thinking.
"Sure enough, not just for this reason?" Yu Qiu climbed his body and raised himself a little, letting the other person stick to his shoulder, as if he wanted to let the other person rely on his own arms. The reason why you are not willing to believe me and not want to believe in us is actually other reasons."
"It doesn't matter how it is," Xiao Chunmian whispered. "It's gone anyway." He really didn't want to repeat the humiliating past.
"But I want to know." Yu Qiudao, "You are the person I like, I want to know everything about you."
"..." Hey, this is really a temptation to refuse.
"I want to know what you think." Yu Qiu reached into the gap between the two bodies and pressed the chest of Xiao Chunmian. "I want to know every thought of you, I want to know a complete you."
Xiao Chunmian looked at him for a long while, then took the hand. "That would be very long."
Yu Qiu nodded.
Xiao Chunmian relies on autumn, and slowly straightens out his entire life in his heart, just like straightening a series of stories. Where do you start talking? This is really a difficult choice.
Finally, Xiao Chunmian still chose to start from the beginning.
From the time he was born as a star, the great son of the prefect, but never got the love of his mother. No one can say how much the influence of the word "initial" on a person can be. Xiao Chunmian has always thought that the woman has almost no influence on himself. After all, he almost does not care about the woman, but the fact that he cannot be changed is that he Everything started from the very beginning. At least, at first, he cares.
Later, he wanted to be liked, and later he did good. Later, he found that he didn't need to be liked. Later he did good, and later he...who knows why he is not liked. Since the secret was revealed, the father who was still kind to him began to be indifferent to him, and Xiaochun was ten years old. But nothing, Xiao Chunmian, ten years old, said to himself, he doesn't care.
Later he continued to do good because he didn't need anything else, and later he met Yu Qiu.
"Xiaoqiu," he asked the question again. "Why do you like me?"
Yu Qiu looked at the top of the bed. "At the very beginning, it was because your heart was very good... and it was beautiful."
Xiao Chunmian nodded. In fact, he always knew that there are many people who like him except his parents. In fact, he is easily loved by others. Because of his good deeds, because of his appearance, or both. At the beginning of Yu Qiu, like many people, it is not surprising.
But Yu Qiu eventually became the most special person. Perhaps because he introduced Xiao Chunmian to another world, perhaps because of others.
"Unfortunately I am probably different from what you originally thought." Xiao Chunmou said.
So why did Xiao Chunmian really like autumn in the beginning? Probably because he perceives the love of Yu Qiu, and then in order to please Yu Qiu, he began to try to respond to this love. Anyway, he also needs to have a person to live with him. If that person likes him, there will be another person in the world who is happy. Xiao Chunmian’s initial emotional response was actually based on this reason.
Then why did it get out of hand? Probably because he was too deep into the play, he gradually took the two people's feelings of love as a matter of course, and even gave birth to the kind of strangeness that was extremely strange to him. So when Yu Qiu told him that he was not really sympathetic, he could not extricate himself.
At that moment, the first time he knew what it was called pain, he knew what was called a heart knife in his heart.
"Hey..." Yu Qiu raised a bit of objection here. "If you just enter the play too deep, it should not be so fierce... I mean, do you think that you are so easy to enter the show to such a degree? ?"
Xiao Chunmian looked at him.
"It's not just a play." Yu Qiuqi was a territorial.
"Maybe." Xiao Chunmian smiled and did not argue.
Then he experienced the first dilemma in life: forcing possession in autumn, or letting Yuqiu free. At that time, he seemed to have chosen the former, but actually chose the latter. After all, he knew that he was unable to extricate himself. If Yu Qiu’s feelings for him were not love, he would continue to be with him only to constantly compromise and reluctantly, and never have happiness.
But after that, he finally regretted it. The knife was much deeper than he had been, and he had been regretting the time he was alone in the wound. He placed himself between life and death, and realized his regrets more deeply between life and death. He thought that the repeated deaths of nine lives allowed him to see what his most important thing was. The result was always in the autumn, Yu Qiu, Yu Qiu, and always in the autumn.
So after walking alone on that road, he changed his mind. He became eager to get it in the fall, and even made some small means of wanting. But the dilemma of the dilemma is because no matter which end he chooses, the lack of the other end can make him miserable. So he can't really be desperate after all.
When he finally got what he wanted, he looked at Yu Qiu and said in front of his eyes that as long as you can do anything, what he actually got is not satisfaction, but fear. He always suspected that Yu Qiu did not really like him, and he doubted it from the beginning.
No, more accurately, at the very beginning of this youthful relationship, he has no doubts, but in the autumn, he said that he only likes women, who don’t like men, so they can’t like him, those who love each other. The first wholehearted trust of you was so bloody.
Like a mirror, it broke once, even if it was glued later, the crack was always there.
Xiao Chunmian can't control himself without control. It is better to have the same knife come back one day sooner, and once again scratch the old wound that is still bloody.
"So you care about my reaction in that kind of thing?"
"……Yes."
Yu Qiu’s never take the initiative, Yu Qiu’s brutal and subtle resistance is not the source of doubt, but the footnote marked on the edge of the crack. It should be harmless, but it cannot be ignored because of the existence of cracks. But eye-catching, but the most dazzling.
"But that's all gone." Xiao Chunmian will be in the arms of the autumn, constantly whispering, "all have passed..."
During that time, for nearly two years, Xiao Chunmian has been struggling at both ends of the dilemma that has never been completely resolved. He wants to get Yu Qiu, but he can't bear to get it all. He wants to leave Yu Qiu, but he always goes around and goes back. Just like that time, he clearly tried to use the retreat to isolate himself from the autumn, but let the paper crane fly to the hands of autumn.
Is there a temptation in addition to the thoughts carried by the paper crane? He carefully tried to figure out the bottom line of Qiuqiu. He didn't want Yu Qiu to find his shackles, and he thought that Yu Qiu had already been dissatisfied with him. So he sent it at that time. Paper crane. Yes, that's it. Even the paper crane is not a true feeling, but an ugly and selfish calculation.
Snapped! Yu Qiu suddenly extended two palms and took a picture on both sides of his cheeks.
Xiao Chunmian looked at him.
Yu Qiu seriously and conscientiously stared at him for a long while, but he quickly couldn’t stand his face and turned to helplessly laughing.
It’s coming again, why do you always want to think of yourself in the worst and most ruthless place?

Xiao Chunmian paused for a while. "Xiaoqiu, do you want to believe that I am really so bad?"
Yu Qiu was undecided about this problem. He pointed out the tip of Xiao Chunmian's nose. "Just like you said why you do good things, you always say that it is just selfishness, not goodness or even noble." Yu Qiu paused, "That I Asking you, what is really good and noble?"
Xiao Chunmian was asked a question, and after a while he replied, "The really kind person... will be saddened by the misfortune of others."
"Where is the difference?" Yu Qiu asked.
Xiao Chunmian is another meal.
"It will be saddened by the misfortune of others, and will be happy because of the happiness of others. If the former can be called goodness, what reason does the latter have to be attributed to being unfriendly? Because of selfishness?" Yu Qiu asked, "You think this world." Who is doing things for their own happiness? From this level, no one is not selfish, so what is wrong with selfishness? The biggest difference between people is not because they are happy because of what they are."
Xiao Chunmian is completely speechless.
For a long while, Xiao Chunmian whispered. He squatted in the autumn, slammed hard, and blush in autumn. "Xiaoqiu, you are so good."
After the sigh, Xiao Chunmian sighed again, "How do you like me again..."
Yu Qiu looked at him.
Xiao Chunmian opened his eyes and was smashed back in autumn.
"In this way, you still said that it is all gone?" Yu Qiu squeezed his cheeks in the middle. "Don't you still see this thing until now?"
Xiao Chunxii moved his mouth, but the lips that were squeezed up were not close together. They could only make some funny sounds from the throat, and then looked at them with gaze.
Yu Qiu was teased at once, let him go, and squatted on his chest. He did not really blame Xiao Chunmian, although he once blamed it. He once hated the sensitivity of Xiao Chunmian, and hated why Xiao Chunmian would doubt his feelings, but after listening to the long self-analysis of the other party, he could know that everything was because he was too deep.
"It turns out," Yu Qiudao said, "I have been owing you an apology."
"What?" This made Xiao Chunmian feel a little helpless. "You don't need to apologize to me, it's me..."
"I take it too seriously." Yu Qiudao, "Spring Sleep, I have always liked you, I don't have anything before I like it and I like it now. I was just... I don't quite understand what I like."
Xiao Chunmian quieted down and looked at him with surprise.
"I took it for granted that I liked a beautiful girl, and then I thought it would not be a man. When I knew the truth, I couldn’t react at all, so I refused to take it for granted. I thought I should refuse." Hold his hand hard. "But I got it wrong. I was too arbitrary. I never liked anyone before. Why do I think I can only like girls? Later I found out, I like you, and yours." Gender doesn't matter. I didn't find that you have been bothered by this... So I have been owing you an apology for spring sleep. Sorry, I shouldn't have been so... I can't even see my heart, and I will deny us."
Xiao Chunmian has been watching him quietly, then his shoulders began to tremble slightly. The knot was finally completely solved, and the unspeakable joy was revealed.
Yu Qiu put his hand on his neck and the two began to kiss. Xiao Chunmian has a very wonderful feeling. It is just that I have said everything I thought in my heart. Then I got some feedback, and it seems that everything is different.
It’s like completing a wonderful ritual that cleans up the dust that has accumulated in your heart for a long time.
However, this ritual called the story has a final ring. It was his two years of sudden departure and the reunion in front of him.
Taking that Zhuji Dan as an opportunity, he once again chose to escape from Yu Qiu, and finally gave up the bottom line of the autumn, and fled completely, like trying to scrape the heart of the heart. But in the end it failed. A reunion easily defeated his determination. He was even controlled by the blood of the devil. It was terrible.
At that time, he was crying on the shoulders of Yu Qiu, who had already fainted, because of what? It was because he had smashed and smashed him at that time, and he added a little muddy water called emotions and slowly re-spinned him into another. He finally had to admit that from the moment he entered the life of his life, he could no longer return to him.
"Although you said that you want to know a complete me, unfortunately I can't seem to be complete." Xiao Chunmian sighed.
Xiao Chunmian’s life is missing a large part. He was incomplete from birth, and his emotions were not quite right, always different from normal people. He knew that he was incomplete, and once thought that this incompleteness did not need to be taken care of. Anyway, he could not influence him to do good. But if you want to be with Yu Qiu...
"This is nothing." Yu Qiu interrupted his thoughts. "I am also very incomplete."
Xiao Chunmian was surprised, "Is it?"
Yu Qiuwangtian, "I am sometimes like a child..."
Xiao Chunmian laughed. "You are not big." He added after laughing. "It's a little smaller than me."
Shrug in the autumn.
"I have never been too concerned about other people's affairs, and I think this kind of delay is a matter of course." Yu Qiu continued. "When you first ran off because of the building, you guessed what I thought? I miss you. It’s too much, why is it so elusive, my brain is used to study Fuxi, and it’s not for understanding.

"It's not wrong..." Xiao Chunmian whispered.
Yu Qiu smiled at him. "But, don't you think that I am more understanding?"
Xiao Chunmian a glimpse.
"Because I don't want to lose you, I have to try to change for you." Yu Qiu raised his body slightly and slammed into the other's arms. "And I did change because of you. I am incomplete, so I need you, don't I?"
Xiao Chunmian took a moment and quickly embraced him.
Yes, it is because I am incomplete that I need you.
The former Xiao Chunmian is Xiao Chunmian who only lives to do good deeds. "But in the future, I am only for those who like to be born in autumn."
"No." Yu Qiu poked his forehead. "You are you, you should only be born of yourself."
Yu Qiu was already a little sleepy at this time. After he said this, he looked up and smiled at Xiao Chunmian’s silly and sly squatting. He changed to a more comfortable place and gradually went to sleep.
He felt a strange wave in his half-sleep and then swelled his mouth because of this familiar fluctuation.
Hey, the boy built the foundation.