Chapter 39

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Family. That word changed Rubica’s expression just a little. Although they hadn’t spent much time together, Edgar was sure of one thing.
She had slapped him, cursed him, and even kicked him, but she wasn’t harsh. In the end, he secretly gave up on the pride he had believed he would never abandon for the sake of desire.

I wish to have at least one person to give me a welcoming embrace when I come home.

Rubica frowned.
Actually, she didn’t want to have such a loving family with Edgar. She wanted to get divorced, anyway.
Nevertheless, Edgar was right about her not being harsh. She recalled that Edgar had lost his parents and his nurse on the same day three years ago in a carriage accident.
And that Ann showed pity within love, calling him ‘Eddie’…
Maybe this man is pretending to be cold but is actually lonely. Thinking so, she couldn’t bring herself to say no. Edgar read that hesitation and his lips started to move busily.

It doesn’t have to be a wife’s embrace. Just embrace me as you would embrace a friend.

Friend… well, they were going to stay together for 3~4 years. Rubica thought it wouldn’t be bad to embrace him from time to time as friends do.

Umm… okay, you can… um, do that…

However, before she could speak of the detailed terms that hugging while sleeping and putting a hand on the wrong part of her body was not okay, she eventually surrendered to tiredness and fell asleep.

Rubica, and, um… Rubica?

Edgar repeatedly called her name, but he could only hear the sound of her breathing. He sighed and laid on one end of the bed to sleep. However, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t close his eyes.
He had fallen asleep so easily when he had Rubica in his arms…

Rubica.

He called her again, and no answer came in return. Instead, Rubica’s sweet scent found him. It reminded him of her warm hands.
As his body was relatively cold, grabbing Rubica’s hand warmed him up.

… she said holding hands was fine.

Edgar justified himself again and inched to Rubica like a butterfly bewitched by the scent of a flower. Then, he took her hand. Just as he had thought, it was warm. He grabbed her hand with one hand and stroked her hair with the other.
She was sound asleep and didn’t even move. The sweet scent was now even stronger, probably because he was closer now. The hair, it smells so sweet and warm. Was it because of her milky-white skin? She smelled just like warm milk.
I want to hug her. I want to bury my face in her soft hair again, but he hesitated for a moment. She had just punished him with a kick for hugging her without permission.
But…

But she just gave me permission, she said hugging was fine.

Yes, she had gotten mad because he had hugged her without getting her permission, and she had just given him the permission, so it was okay now.
He reached the conclusion he wanted, took a deep breath, and quietly pulled Rubica to his side.
Again, she didn’t react.
He carefully lifted her shoulder to put her face on his chest.
When the breath she exhaled was felt on his chest, his reason left him. In the end, he held her tight, buried his face in her hair and was left drunken in her scent.
She felt so soft that he feared he might break her. Her breath tickled his chest.
Even though they had been apart for a short while, he desperately missed that scent.
Edgar felt the scent he wouldn’t be able to enjoy after dawn. And at the end of that sweet scent, a strange smell attached itself to it, went through his nose and reached his brain.
Seductive, so seductive. It felt like the tip of a soft brush was tickling him.
The next moment, he was startled and detached Rubica away from himself.
He didn’t push her only because his last rational thought warned him that it might wake her up.
He just couldn’t believe it, so he wriggled his hair.

His body, that should have stirred, had stirred.
He had met ladies who leaned on him or rubbed one’s body on his from time to time during balls, but he had never stirred at that. But this time, it was different.
Rubica hadn’t even done anything to him. She was just sleeping… just sleeping, but he stirred.
He even willingly went to her, hugged her, and enjoyed her smell.
‘I must be crazy.’
Yes, he had to be crazy. He jumped to his feet and took a lap around the duke’s chamber and the duchess’ chamber. Luckily, the cold air slowly calmed his body down. He took a small console chair and sat down next to the bed. Then, he stared at the sleeping Rubica.
Ordinary. She looked nice but ordinary. She was a very ordinary woman.
There were many ladies more elegant and fashionable than her.
Yes, it all had to be a coincidence. There couldn’t be any relation between the physical change that had just happened to him and Rubica.
‘Is it because I took the flu medicine with champagne instead of water?’
He hadn’t drunk water at the wedding and the feast as he had talked about it with Carl in advance. He drank champagne instead when he felt thirsty. He decided to ask the scholars of the academy to study the wrong symptoms for taking the flu medicine and champagne together. It might look quite foolish to others, but it was important to him.
Concluding it was all because of the medicine and champagne made him feel much more comfortable.
He lightly stroked Rubica’s face. It must have felt good as her lips curled up, and his lips moved along with them.
He couldn’t be a beast feeling that kind of desire for such a cute woman.
‘It’s cold.’
The night was still cold. His thin nightgown wasn’t made for such cold air, and he started to feel sleepy.
He couldn’t keep sitting next to the bed. Eventually, he went back under the duvet.
The duvet made of fluffy swan feather and goose feather felt so pleasant.
However, he felt something was missing.
When he had fallen asleep earlier, something had filled him entirely, and now that important something, that would make him sleep well, was missing.
‘… strange. I am under the duvet now, so why do I still feel hollow? Is it because I’m cold?’
Suddenly, he was worried about Rubica. If he was feeling such hollowness, she must be feeling worse. Maybe she had found her way into his arms earlier because of the cold. When he thought of that, he decided there was no reason to hesitate more. Again, he pulled Rubica to his side to hug her. When her pleasant scent tickled his nose… his sleep went away.
His body reacted again.
‘It’s a side effect of the flu medicine and champagne. It has nothing to do with her. If I push her away, the cold might make her have a nightmare.’
He muttered to himself. When she moved, he was startled and checked if she was feeling uncomfortable. He rubbed her fingers and kissed her forehead.
It made the lower part of his body react every time, but he blamed the flu medicine for all that and kept holding her tightly. He didn’t sleep a wink all night.

Faint light started to come in through the windows. Edgar looked at Rubica’s face illuminated by the blue light of dusk with sleepy eyes.
He had failed to sleep at all. On the other hand, the woman next to him was sleeping so soundly. He knew it could only be that way, but it still felt somehow unfair.
Then, he heard something rolling up to the chamber.
‘Carl.’
He knew what that sound was and smiled bitterly. It was time to leave Rubica. He felt so bad to think that it could have been the last night they spent together.
He forced his stiff body to get up and used his arms to reach the end of the bed. When he put his feet on the floor, he heard three knocks on the door.
It was definitely Carl.
His butler didn’t wait to take out his bundle of keys to open the door as if he knew everything. At the same time, he tried putting weight on his feet to stand up. Nevertheless, he helplessly fell on the floor.
He didn’t panic as it was only normal. However, the sliver of hope flew away like a leaking balloon.

Your Grace!

Carl urgently called him and was about to push the wheelchair into the room.

Don’t bring that hideous thing here!

Edgar, who was pitifully on the floor, looked up and exploded in anger that he had been holding back.
Carl quietly left the wheelchair near the door and came to Edgar as he was desperately trying to stand up. Then, he quickly helped him to get up.

The paralysis has come up to your knees.

Edgar didn’t say anything to that. He breathed hard and started to take each step. Carl felt endless pity at seeing that. His master hadn’t always been like this. He had been a man who could freely walk and run.
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