Translator:
Irene_
Editor:
Perriemix
The meeting room on the second floor was where Father hosted his yearly conference with important figures from all over the world.
Granny and Mother were both frightened by Grandfather’s sudden appearance.
Grandfather shut the meeting room door, effectively dimming the chants and chorus outside.
I took my seat quietly.
Grandfather slowly walked to the master seat.
One wants cremation?
Mother nodded.
The other wants a direct burial?
Granny nodded.
These methods are too popular. I want a sky burial,
Grandfather commented.
Granny and Mother’s faces changed.
I’m the oldest one here and I am the most qualified. I’m guessing no one has any objections?
Mother stood up but she did not dare to talk.
Granny, too, stood up, but she didn’t say anything.
Even then, Grandfather realized that he had no absolute power over this matter.
His firm tone softened a little as he asked,
How long has Ansheng been dead?
Six days. Tomorrow will be the seventh,
Mother replied.
Tomorrow… that’s just right. I
ll give my brother a call so please arrange the air transport. Nine hours should be enough to reach Tibet. He should be back in time for Ansheng’s sky burial,
Grandfather said.
Mother objected immediately.
Why not?
Grandfather questioned.
Granny said,
You can’t do that. I want him to be buried so that we can remember and visit him every year. If we go through with the sky burial, wouldn’t there be nothing left of him?
How can you say that? The idea behind sky burial is to allow the soul to reincarnate. It will never be destroyed. Death is merely a separation between the soul and the expired body. The vultures will bring the body back to Buddha. This is Buddhist’s doctrine so what do you mean there’s nothing left?
Grandfather responded before gazing into the distance quietly.
Granny fell into a short silence before replying,
Give me some time. I’ll give the experts a call to check if the sky burial will affect the feng shui at home.
She took her phone out and made the call in front of everybody.
Seeing that made Mother’s expression changed slightly. She went over to sit on a stool at the side.
She knew she had the least say in this room.
Which was why she had called Grandfather and me over.
She needed more support in order to change Granny’s mind.
However, while panicking, she had forgotten that I, too, had no say in this family.
Or why else had I been thrown into another part of the world by my own father, and been left without any power to resist?
Grandfather was the person she really shouldn’t have called over.
Father had never been able to deal with Grandfather’s antics.
Grandfather was a free spirit. No one could control him.
According to him, Tibet’s prairie was his home.
Perhaps he had seen a unique species of butterfly on that prairie.
He chased after it. It was a chase that lasted forty over years.
Later on, Father became wealthy and Grandfather was finally able to find his own hobby – to search for prairies all over the world.
Throughout his search, he never dared to return home because a lot has changed over forty years.
People, things, sceneries.
Of course, he was unwilling to go home not because he hadn’t been back before.
It was because his father, mother, grandfather, and grandmother were all gone.
His brother had been the one to send all of them off, one by one.
He washed them and chose the cliffs.
Chanted and waited for the vultures to take their bodies to heaven.
That was what sky burial was.
Back then, his brother had no money since all of it had been used to further Grandfather’s studies.
Grandfather did well, too, by entering a university, except that he had decided to chase butterflies instead.
Grandfather’s brother could only chant and fast for three days because he had no money,
With each round of prayer beads, he restarted his chants until he reached the eighty-first time, which took him a full three days.
It wasn’t surprising then, that Grandfather’s brother hated sky burials the most.
Nevertheless, he repeated the process four times.
Grandfather had left him alone all this while.
His pursuit lasted forty over years and when he finally returned home with money, everything had changed.
Grandfather gave his brother a lot of money but the latter never did forgive him.
I’ll prepare a sky burial for you after you die so I hope you’ll do the same for me if I go first,
his brother said.
This was Grandfather’s story.
Ending her call, Granny announced,
It’s alright, the experts said. Sky burial isn’t part of the five elements so our feng shui will not be affected. It’s Buddha’s blessing. Sky burial is a good thing.
Grandfather took his phone out and keyed in a familiar number.
He never saved numbers since he had full confidence in his memory.
But this time… the line was busy.
Grandfather was stunned. He looked closely at the eleven digits.
He called over once more.
A long time later, a voice message in the Tibetan language was heard.
We couldn’t understand a word but Grandfather started crying.
Bawling, in fact.
Granny asked quietly,
What is it, old man?
Like a wronged child, he answered,
Brother’s been dead for half a year now.
Everyone fell into stunned silence but Granny only shook her head helplessly.
Half a year ago you were roaming the earth. You arranged strange traveling schedules and flew in planes more than you had time for fun. During that time you weren’t contactable. Ask your daughter-in-law if you don’t believe me. How many times has she tried calling you? You probably didn’t think about how we would’ve been worried, right?
Mother nodded.
I called you non-stop for half a day but the line was busy. Better than Luqiao, nonetheless, since he switched his mobile off. If not for my letter, I doubt we will have full attendance today.
Grandfather hung up the phone and walked out of the room, leaving everyone else not knowing what to do.
A direct burial it shall be then. No burning. I’ll settle him first,
Granny said before chasing after Grandfather.
Mother sat on the same stool with her head hung low.
I stood up.
I’ll go back first, Mom. I’ll be holding his portrait tomorrow, right?
Without raising her head she waved.
As I was about to turn around and leave, Mother said,
Your father was probably aware of his condition so he’d prepared a will beforehand. It says that twenty percent will be split among your granny and grandfather, and the rest will be left to you. Your grandmother is giving her portion to you and so am I, but since you’re still young, we’re going to pass everything to you after your graduation.
I nodded.
Mother continued,
He also wrote that there’s a letter that he wants you to read on your own so we haven’t touched it. It’s on your table so go take a look.
I nodded again and Mother had nothing else to add.
I found the letter and opened it slowly.
I took a deep breath before I started reading it seriously.
After the first line, I felt helpless.
Not because it was too touching but because there was only one line.
The next morning at six, Mother woke me up.
The family headed over to Phoenix Cemetery urgently.
Everyone went down together and Grandfather looked much better.
With a bitter smile, he said,
It’s all been arranged. I’ll make a trip to Tibet once your father goes into the ground.
Granny only smiled without saying anything.
There was a strange expression on Mother’s face but she forced a smile.
Phoenix Cemetery.
The coffin was already there.
Mother handed Father’s portrait to me before whispering,
Son, I’ll distract your grandparents later so put this into his coffin before it gets covered.
She stuffed a cold, porcelain pot into my hands.
It was cylindrical and had a porcelain stopper to seal the pot.
I kept it in the pocket of my down-filled parka. The pot was bulky but fortunately unnoticeable.
Mom? Did you cremate Dad? You…
Mother extended her hand out to cover my mouth.
Be a good boy and listen to me.
I nodded.
Mother smiled and said nothing more.
Throughout the whole process, I held his portrait but had his ashes in my pocket.
Time to bring the coffin down.
Mother did pull Grandfather and Granny aside to distract them.
When the funeral music sounded, there were only chants and no songs.
I said to the staff,
Wait, I need to put something inside.
The staff stopped what he was doing and so did the person in charge of nailing the coffin.
I opened a small slit and placed my necklace in.
It was a gift from Mother when I turned eighteen.
Of course, I knew that Mother had lied that it was a gift from Father.
That wasn’t Father’s style at all.
I was thinking that since it was an empty coffin, I might as well put something in for commemoration and give Mother a peace of mind as well.
…
Epilogue.
Hangzhou, West Lake.
3:30 AM.
I made my way out of the car slowly.
I’ve observed the place for a long time. It was the safest spot since there was the least number of passersby.
It was winter’s night and it was unbelievably cold.
I twist the porcelain lid off.
The whitish-grey powder was indeed bone ashes.
I took out a glove and started sprinkling the ashes toward the lake, not forgetting to look out for patrolling police officers.
Dad, why are you doing this to me…
Ashes could not be checked through and I did not have the backing of influential people.
I told Mother I was going overseas to travel. It took me two days to get from Beijing to Hangzhou and had many stopovers along the way.
When the ashes were all sprinkled out, I threw the porcelain pot into the lake as well.
Facing the lake, I shouted,
Are you happy now, Dad?
What’s that sound? What are you doing?
I heard a voice call out from afar.
I spotted a light being shone on my face by a police officer
I used my winter hat to cover my head and quickly ran the opposite direction.
Chen Ansheng, Chen Ansheng. I’ve only heard of sons letting their fathers down. Isn’t this the first time that the roles have reversed?
I asked indignantly.
There was only one line in his will.
Son, cremate me first if possible and throw my ashes into West Lake.
