Chapter 13

: Kids These Days
Translator: 
Alex_in_Wonderland 
 Editor: 
Zayn_
Yi Xin timidly explained the purpose of this visit. Professor Lan scoffed when he heard Zheng Tan had fleas. He gave the cat a harsh look:
You deserved it!

With that said, Professor Lan still went to fetch Zheng Tan the medicine, with the cat trailing behind him.
As for Yi Xin, he was faithfully mopping the living room.
Professor Lan was a retired faculty of the College of Life Sciences at Chuhua University. Although he didn’t teach anymore, he still held considerable influence in the department. He was an advisor to many companies in town. Though his apartment had little furnishing, his net worth was anything but.
Professor Lan rarely, if ever, smiled; giving off the impression that he was ill-tempered and too serious. He would go visit the bio department from time to time. He once decided to make himself the auditor of a botany course. The young lecturers often lacked the confidence to speak up in front of him, let alone the students.
It was no wonder that Yi Xin stuttered when he saw the man. He had completed his undergraduate studies here as well. The botany class left him scared. He was curious, though. Professor Lan was not someone who followed the rules, not even the dean of the department could make him do something he did not want to do.
So why was he tolerating the cat? Certainly not because its owner.
Zheng Tan earned this tolerance through a random act of kindness. More than a month ago, Zheng Tan ran into Professor Lan’s wife, Madam Di, during one of his strolls. The old lady suffered from heart problems and was on a verge of a heart attack when she was helping some other lady from a different building carry some stuff.
Professor Lan was out of town and most people living in the residential quarter were at work at the university. Madam Di’s hand shook, dropping her medicine bottle, and it rolled down the stairs. At the time, Madam Di could hardly walk. It was Zheng Tan who ran downstairs and brought her back the bottle.
She was able to take her medicine in time, and all was well.
Since then, Madam Di always greeted Zheng Tan with a smile. If she was home today, Professor surely wouldn’t have scolded Zheng Tan. To other people, he had quite the temper. But at home, Madam Di called the shots. Of course, she never gave him a hard time in public.
So, with Madam Di as his supporter, Zheng Tan was not at all afraid of the professor.
Professor Lan took out two bottles; one was a liquid, the other was a powder.
The liquid medicine was to be used in baths, so as to avoid catching fleas outside. Zheng Tan had used it before, but he had run out of it and always thought it was too much trouble to ask for more.
The bottle of powder was to be sprinkled on, after finding fleas. These things were not sold anywhere. They were all the old man’s own configuration, consisting of purely natural elements. Even if it was consumed accidently when cats licked their fur, it wouldn’t do any damage. Not that Zheng Tan ever licked his fur.
The old man poured out some powder on the palm of his hand and rubbed it all over Zheng Tan.
Zheng Tan looked back at his messy fur, then looked back up at the professor disapprovingly.
The professor didn’t say anything, but gently put the cap back on the bottle and returned the bottle to its cupboard. He slowly combed through Zheng Tan’s ruffled fur. After the cat looked good again, he gave it a pat, which almost sent Zheng Tan to the ground.

I could buy a house of cats if I sold this medicine. Seeing that you got such a great deal, maybe come help me in the garden someday?

The professor did not expect the cat to understand. He was just voicing out his annoyance and using the time to pat Zheng Tan a few more times as retaliation.
Zheng Tan twitched his ears, shook his fur and ignored the old man talking to himself. He left the room, ready to go home.
Outside, Yi Xin had finished mopping. He was sitting stiffly on the edge of the sofa. Even a fool could see that he was nervous.
Professor Lan handed Yi Xin the two bottles, then went back into the room and brought out a small glass bottle.

Those two bottles are to be used on the cat. Ask your mentor for the specific instructions. The glass bottle contains pesticides. It is 10 times concentrated. Remember to dilute it first.

Professor Lan then opened the front door, signaling to the cat and the student that their stay here was over.

Thank … thank you so much. Sorry for the trouble!

Yi Xin squeezed out a thanks, then followed Zheng Tan out.
Only when they were back on the fifth floor did he let out a sigh of relief
Zheng Tan was feeling more at ease as well. Now that he knew the problem of fleas was solved, he felt like he was floating on clouds. He tore open a bag of grilled fish to snack on to pass some time.
However, before the pair could get too comfortable, the doorbell rang.
Listening to the frequency of knocks and the commotion outside, Zheng Tan could guess the identity of the visitors. He looked up at the ceiling and rolled his eyes.
‘I just cannot catch a break.’
Yi Xin opened the door.
Outside were three little boys, all about Jiao Yuan’s age. All of them were in sixth grade at the same affiliated elementary school and lived in the quarter. They were playmates of Jiao Yuan. Zheng Tan knew them, but Yi Xin did not.
Before he could ask, a child beat him to it:
Who are you?

The question was filled of righteousness. One of the taller children even brought out a rolling pin covered in rat bite marks.
Looking at three kids with vigilance and suspicion in their eyes, Yi Xin could feel his face stiffen.
He then spent the next five minutes trying to explain his identity. He even pulled out his student ID.
Three boys gathered around to look at the photo on the ID then looked back at Yi Xin.

The man in the picture is your brother, isn’t he? He looks like he has been through the vicissitudes of life,
The child with the rolling pin said, then paused. Suddenly pleased, he added:
I actually used the ‘vicissitudes of life’ in a sentence!


Remember to use it in your next essay, maybe you’ll score a 90,
Another child said, finally giving back Yi Xin his student ID.
The trio walked into the living room. They felt reassured when they saw Zheng Tan lying on the sofa in one piece. If the cat was well, the person must be an acquaintance. They sat down on the sofa.
Yi Xin saw that the sofa was taken, so he went and brought a chair from the dining table.
As he was about to sit down, he caught the three kids staring at him. He stared back blankly. They were looking at him as if he did something wrong.
Zheng Tan looked at them and sighed. He went to the fridge, then jumped up and opened the door.

Oh. ~ ~


Charcoal is a much better host.


This is the basics of hospitality. Mr. Yi, even a cat knows it.

Yi Xin managed to hold his tongue under the criticism. ‘Fck, if this were my place, I’d know it too. But this is Professor Jiao’s house. I’m scared to eat a bag of snacks. I’m a guest too!’
The strongest kid was the fastest. He was in front of the fridge in no time, rummaging through it like this was his own home.

Xiong Xiong, I want mango. Last time, I saw Jiao Yuan hide it. Look in the drawer.


I want apple!

Yi Xin felt his face twitch. Were the Viking pillaging a village?
Xiong Xiong returned with three popsicles.
Looking at the three kids slurping their popsicles, Yi Xin asked:
So you three are here…because?


My granddaddy said that someone was here. We haven’t seen Jiao Yuan for a few days, so we came to ask why he wasn’t coming to school.
The child who had chastised Yi Xin for poor hospitality answered.

Uh, and your grandfather is…?


My granddad is a Lan Tiesu.

Yi Xin could barely maintain his smile.
Lan Tiesu was Professor Lan’s name.
The kids were — Professor Lan’s grandson Lan Tianzhu, the son of a chemistry professor named Su An and Xiong Xiong. Zheng Tan did not know the specifics of Xiong Xiong’s background, but he had heard that the family was well connected, with ties to the headmaster.
Yi Xin knew his boss was in another province, but didn’t know the specifics. So he told the kids something had come up and the Jiao family had to leave for a week.

Oh….
Xiong Xiong was not satisfied with this explanation. They were already here and his mother, who forbid him from eating ice cream, was sure to scold him if he went home like this. Might as well finish the popsicle before leaving.
Xiong Xiong asked Yi Xin:
You are the Department of Health Sciences, right? I have a question.

Yi Xin sat up,
Speak.


I heard that if you don’t eat breakfast, your body will eat feces. Is that true?

Zheng Tan, who was pretending to be asleep on the couch, was listening intently.
Su An and Lan Tianzhu also looked over to Yi Xin.
Yi Xin’s smile stiffened. He decided to answer this question in academic terms:
Strictly speaking, it is not correct. Food enters the small intestine, where nutrients are digested and absorbed, then the remaining residue enter the large intestine. It will then leave the body in the form of feces and urine. The large intestine is not like the small intestine, it does not absorb anything except water and inorganic salts. So even if you do not eat breakfast, the large intestine will not absorb any…eh…’residual residue’.


My mom lied to me again!
Xiong Xiong complained.

You can argue with your mother.


No. She’ll punish me by making me kneel on the wash board.


That’s not bad at all. I had to kneel on the keyboard two days ago. My mom said I can’t get up until the space bar falls off.
Su An said while nibbling on his popsicle.

Why?


In order to verify that aqua regia can indeed dissolve gold, I threw my mom’s golden leaf earrings into the mixture. Turns out, it can dissolve gold.

Zheng Tan and Yi Xin were both speechless. This wasteful kid.

My dad banned me from his lab, and my mom took away my pocket money.
Su An went on.

Actually…
Lan Tianzhu wiped his mouth,
corporal punishment is illegal, isn’t it? You can call 110.


It’s useless, I tried.
Xiong Xiong said,
After that, my mother switched to a larger washboard.

Once again Zheng Tan and Yi Xin were speechless.

Fck, kids don’t have human rights!
Xiong Xiong exclaimed.
Lan Tianzhu glanced at him:
Language!


Fck, kids don’t have human rights!
Xiong Xiong re-exclaimed.
Zheng Tan and Yi Xin gave up.
Xiong Xiong rolled up his trousers to show them red marks on his leg from being pinched.
That surprised the adults.

Wow. Your mother is really ruthless!
Lan Tianzhu and Su An swallowed nervously.

No!
Xiong Xiong looked proud.
I pinched myself really hard to cry! My mom felt bad and changed the original one hour kneeling into kneeling for fifteen minutes.

Zheng Tan:
…

Yi Xin:
…

Why was he looking so triumphant! What was he proud of!
Listening to the conversation between the three children, Zheng Tan realized that when he was a kid, he was really, really, really fcking naive.
Yi Xin was swearing inside as well. ‘Kids these days! How did they become this way!’
The three kids finished the popsicles. They reluctantly put on the backpacks and left. Before leaving, though, they remembered to remind Yi Xin and Zheng Tan that recently there were thieves in the area. Apparently, several families had already been robbed, so they shouldn’t lend out their access cards nor let strangers into the building.
After three kids left, Zheng Tan and Yi Xin finally felt the world was at peace again.
Boiling bath water for the cat, drying its fur, applying medicine and entertaining children … all in one day. Yi Xin was physically and mentally exhausted. He decided that when the boss came back, he was going to ask for a raise. Without a doubt!
Zheng Tan didn’t care about what Yi Xin was thinking. He was tired as well. These two days had been like a roller coaster ride. Remembering what Wei Lin said, Zheng Tan decided to go out for a run tomorrow.
So, he went to bed early and was asleep before 8.
Yi Xin was modifying his essay using Papa Jiao’s computer. When he was done, it was already 2 in the morning. He stretched and turned off the computer before getting up to go outside to sleep on the couch.
Walking pass Gu Youzi’s room, he looked inside. With the light coming from the living room, he could see a large stuffed Garfield in the middle of the bed. The black cat was lying on the toy with one leg curled up, the other leg on Garfield’s fat smiling face. It was fast asleep.
Yi Xin curled his lips. Such a bad posture!
In his dream, Zheng Tan became strong and he caught the thief.