Chapter 950:

But I resolutely delayed everything, but withdrew from the step of taking a step, and the urgent need of this step is no longer so absolute in my opinion. I did change. My health has declined so far and now I have recovered a lot; when I cannot control the memory of my unpleasant promises, my spirit rises proportionally. My father was happy to see this change, and his thoughts turned to the best way to destroy my melancholy body, which would restore it to its original state from time to time and cover the coming sunlight with devouring black. At these moments, I gained asylum with the most perfect loneliness. I spent a whole day alone on the lake in a small boat, watching the dark clouds and listening to the ripples of the waves, silent and listless. But fresh air and bright sunshine rarely restore me to a certain degree of calmness. After returning to China, I satisfied my friends' greetings with a friendly smile and a more cheerful heart. My father was happy to see this change, and his thoughts turned to the best way to destroy my melancholy body, which would restore it to its original state from time to time and cover the coming sunlight with devouring black. At these moments, I gained asylum with the most perfect loneliness. I spent a whole day alone on the lake in a small boat, watching the dark clouds and listening to the ripples of the waves, silent and listless. But fresh air and bright sunshine rarely restore me to a certain degree of calmness. After returning to China, I satisfied my friends' greetings with a friendly smile and a more cheerful heart. My father was happy to see this change, and his thoughts turned to the best way to destroy my melancholy body, which would restore it to its original state from time to time and cover the coming sunlight with devouring black. At these moments, I gained asylum with the most perfect loneliness. I spent the whole day alone on the lake in a small boat, watching the dark clouds and listening to the ripples of the waves, silent and listless. However, fresh air and bright sunshine rarely restore me to a certain degree of calmness. After returning to China, I satisfied my friends' greetings with a friendly smile and a more cheerful heart. The engulfed black air enveloped the coming sunlight. At these moments, I gained asylum with the most perfect loneliness. I spent the whole day alone on the lake in a small boat, watching the dark clouds and listening to the ripples of the waves, silent and listless. However, fresh air and bright sunshine rarely restore me to a certain degree of calmness. After returning to China, I satisfied my friends' greetings with a friendly smile and a more cheerful heart. The engulfed black air enveloped the coming sunlight. At these moments, I gained asylum with the most perfect loneliness. I spent the whole day alone on the lake in a small boat, watching the dark clouds and listening to the ripples of the waves, silent and listless. However, fresh air and bright sunshine rarely restore me to a certain degree of calmness. After returning to China, I satisfied my friends' greetings with a friendly smile and a more cheerful heart.
After I returned from one of the homeless men, my father told me to step aside and said to me:
"Dear son, I am happy to say that you have recovered your previous fun and seem to be returning to yourself. However, you are still dissatisfied and are still avoiding our society. For some time, I have been concerned about this reason I'm at a loss, but yesterday an idea touched me. If this idea is true, I want you to take an oath. Keeping this is not only useless, but it will cause us all three times the suffering."
I trembled violently in his lecture, and my father continued to say-
"My son, I confess that I have been looking forward to your marriage to my dear Elizabeth. This is the bond between the comfort of our family and the years of my decline. You have been attached to each other since you were young; you have studied together, and you are completely in character and taste. Appropriate. But human experience is so blind that I think the best assistant of my plan may completely destroy it. You may regard her as your sister, but you don’t want her to be your wife. No, you You may meet another person you love; and think of yourself as someone respected in memory of Elizabeth. This struggle may make you seem to feel painful."
"Dear father, please rest assured. I love my cousin tenderly and sincerely. I have never seen a woman who is as excited as Elizabeth and my most passionate admiration and affection. My hopes and prospects for the future are completely controlled by our unions. Expectations."
"Dear Victor, your expression on this subject has brought me more fun than it has been for a while. If you feel that way, we will be happy, but current events may overwhelm us .But it is this haze that seems to have made you grab me so deeply that the hope dissipates. Therefore, tell me if you object to an immediate wedding. We have been unfortunate, and recent events have separated us A daily peace that suits my age and frailty. You are still young. However, I don’t think that you have the wealth that you have. Early marriage will not interfere with any honor and utilitarian plans that you may form in the future. But don’t think I hope for you Bringing happiness, or delaying your work will cause me serious anxiety. Explain my words in a frank way, and answer me with confidence and sincerity.
I listened to my father's voice in silence, and could not provide any answer for a while. I quickly thought of many ideas and tried to draw some conclusions. Alas! To me, the idea of ​​an immediate alliance with my Elizabeth is frightening and frustrating. I have always held a solemn promise that has not been fulfilled. I dare not fulfill it, or I dare not fulfill it, or if I do, the various sufferings may not cause trouble for me and my loyal family! Can I participate in a festival when this heavy weight hangs on my neck and bows to the ground? I must fulfill my promise to let the monster leave with his companions, and then I can enjoy the happiness that I expect from a peaceful union.
I still remember that it is necessary for me to travel to the UK or have long-term exchanges with philosophers in that country. Their knowledge and discoveries are essential to my current work. The latter method of obtaining the required intelligence is expansive and unsatisfactory. In addition, I have an insurmountable aversion to the idea of ​​taking part in my arduous tasks in my father's house and developing the habit of sexual with my loved ones. I know that there may be thousands of terrible accidents, and only a small part of them will reveal a story that makes everyone connected with me feel terrified. I also realized that I should often lose all my self-control abilities to cover up all the painful feelings that may be brought to me in the process of doing abnormal work. During work, I must give up everything I love. Once it starts, it will come true soon, and I may return to my family in peace and happiness. My promise has been fulfilled, and this monster will disappear forever. Or because of this, I like to imagine that some accidents may happen at the same time to destroy him and end my slavery forever.
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