Chapter 66:

Chapter 66
He Zhishu asked the doctor to take him to the cemetery. Hangzhou Anxian cemetery, buried his parents. This is the deepest pain in his heart, and he can't bear to mention it.
There was light rain in the sky, and the thin rain line was blown by the wind on the window, and the car stopped outside the gate of the cemetery.
"I am waiting for you outside?" Ai Ziyu handed him the coat of He Zhishu and pushed the door to the trunk to find an umbrella.
He knows that he hasn't moved. He bowed his head and covered his face with his hands. He snorted slightly. He didn't dare to go, and he didn't want to go.
He had wanted to go back to the old house, but he still gave up. The house had already sold people, and even the old traces were erased. It was sold by his own parents after his death, and the money he sold paid the down payment for the house in Beijing.
He Zhishu thinks that he and Jiang Wenxu may be really the same kind of person, saying that they are sorry, and they are trying to compensate for the crimes they have committed. Selfishness, hurt is always the person who loves you the most.
Ai Ziyu opened the door to He Zhishu and held an umbrella for him: "...I will accompany you." He Zhishu carried more than everyone imagined, and the doctor did not trust that he swallowed all the pain alone. In the dead of night, I was alone in pain.
He knows slowly, his eyes are weak and some subtle evasive: "I...go?" He asked the doctor, but more is looking for an excuse for himself and finding reasons for not going.
Ai Ziyu feels distressed and knows that he is used to waiting for you to be better and what we are doing. However, he did not respond this time. He did not hope that the last time of the He Zhishu was tied by this knot and could not be reassured.
Some things have to be faced.
"Put on the jacket, I will send you in." Ai Ziyu's words are soft.
He Zhishu pressed the temple twice and got off the bus. He stood at the main entrance of the cemetery and looked at the tombstone in the middle of a verdant greenery in the distance. Suddenly his legs were soft.
Ai Ziyu is busy helping him, holding an umbrella in one hand: "It doesn't matter?"
He Zhishu shook his head: "Go in."
Not very easy to find, He Zhishu is completely looking for it with a little memory. Looking at the past one by one, the sorrow and powerlessness are getting heavier and heavier.
Ai Ziyu hit a umbrella and shuttled through the rain, quiet and heavy.
Finally, He Zhishu was caught in front of a marble carving burial tomb, such as an electric shock. His face was white and the lips were shaking. He knows that it will take a long time to make a stiff voice. He slowly turns back and pushes the doctor: "You go to a place farther away and wait for me, OK?"
"Of course," Ai Ziyu certainly understands: "Come, you have an umbrella."
He knows a smile and slowly shakes his head: "I am here, the umbrella is not suitable." He stepped into the drizzle and approached the death of his parents.
When He Zhishu was two steps away from the tombstone, it was like being hit by something heavy. He slammed on the cold and wet concrete floor. He knows that he didn't get up, bowed his head and bowed, and then slammed a few heads.
"Dad, Mom... I was wrong..." The voice of He Zhishu leaked from the biting lip, mixed with the blood bitten by the lower lip: "I was wrong... I was wrong... I was wrong..."
He knows that he can't cry out. He cried too much for Jiang Wenxu, and his tears finally dried up. His eyes are red like blood, and the cockroaches inside can't be suppressed, but they are hard to release.
No matter when he was out of control with Jiang Wenxu, He Zhishu never mentioned the accidental death of his parents to vent their grievances. He did not mention it because he did not blame Jiang Wenxu because... he only blamed himself.
Awakened in countless nights, he had to bite his back and stare at the darkness of the room. All condemned conscience from the conscience never let the second person share it for him. He only blames himself. Every time I was wronged, when my body and mind were afraid of fatigue, my pain doubled, and I knew that no one would ever abandon his home.
"Mom...sorry... I always worry you. I know how disappointing you are... you must be thinking, how can a child who is so ignorant when he was a child, how can he... how can you not even want a man for you..." The voice of He Zhishu choked, but there was no tear in his eyes. Looked carefully and there seemed to be blood marks: "I... I thought about the dumplings you personally thought for 15 years... You, when you are not angry, can you give me another? Pack a meal, mom?"
"Mom! Don't ignore me... you can be beaten when you are angry..." He Zhishu's words suddenly stopped, his eyes recovered some clear. He smiled bitterly: "Dad, my mom ignored me."
The gentle smiles of the male and female in the black and white photos, the delicate eyebrows, and the temperament of the smooth, all the good seems to be even to the son. There is only one loess under the photo.
The lost person will not come, the real cruel, you can't admit it is like this.
"Dad, this is a trouble for you for more than ten years. She is timid, and she must be afraid in the dark lacquered place below... Dad, you have to let her more, when... I will pass and change me. Protect both of you..." He Zhishu gently said: "I will not make you sad anymore... Really, won't let you wait so long..."
Ai Ziyu's nails broke through a small piece of skin in his palm. He looked at He Zhishu in the rain and endured the pain and did not interfere. But now I really realize that I can't let the He Zhishu go on like this anymore. He is not very clear about the cause of death of He Zhishu's parents, but he knows that normal people can't stand the torture of the relatives, not to mention the patient who is not very good in this mental state.
Ai Ziyu stepped over and used the umbrella to block the cold raindrops for the Zhizhishu: "Know the book, let's go home," he said. "When you are better, let's come again."
Unexpectedly, He Zhishu did not insist on staying. He stood up very hard under the help of Ai Ziyu and walked slowly. But in three steps, He Zhishu looked back at the photo, revealing a child's pure smile, silently saying "Dad, Mom, wait for me."
Ai Ziyu’s heart was hurt by the laughter of He Zhishu. It’s sad and helpless:
Your clothes are wet, cold and not cold?

He knows that he has been silent all the time.
Ai Ziyu opened the warm air with a dry towel and gently wiped his face and hair with He Zhishu. I don't know what to say.
He Zhishu looked up at Ai Ziyu for a long time, then smiled warmly: "It’s like a stone falling on my heart, I feel so relaxed now..." He closed his eyes slowly after he finished speaking. Go to sleep.
Ai Ziyu’s heart suddenly trembled, and He Zhishu’s face was cold, and he looked up close to his neck to feel the amazing heat.