Chapter 393 - Fake Monks


Chapter 393: Fake Monks
Translator: 
CKtalon 
 Editor: 
CKtalon
Red Boy feigned sleeping by shutting his eyes the moment he heard Fangzheng.
Fangzheng was helpless against this. It was not easy to teach a brat like him.
Instead, it was Ouyang Fenghua who seemed to enjoy the teachings as she nodded incessantly.
Master, you are absolutely right.


Nothing unpleasant happened during the remainder of the journey. Soon they arrived at Tanzhong City. When they disembarked the train, they could see the Changbai mountain range sprawling across the horizon like a black dragon in the distance. The high-speed rail station was a certain distance away from the city center, but thankfully there was a bus at the entrance. However it was no longer early, and Ouyang Fenghua was clearly exhausted.
Master, since the Dharma Assembly is the day after tomorrow, let’s find a place to rest. I feel like I’ll die from sitting.

Fangzheng was not particular about it. He was fine with anything as long as he didn’t need to pay! He nodded.
Amitabha. As you wish, Patron.

Thrilled, Ouyang Fenghua immediately found a bus, and they headed for the city.
More than ten minutes later, Fangzheng looked up at the towering building that was more than ten floors high. He rubbed his nose and thought to himself,
This is probably the most enjoyable moment for This Penniless Monk.

At that moment, a couple walked out of the building while dragging suitcases. They looked to be in a hurry, but when they passed by Fangzheng, Ouyang Fenghua, and Red Boy, they turned their heads to look at them strangely.
The woman said under her breath,
Seriously, things ain’t as they used to be. To think a monk is openly walking with his wife and child. Sigh… The child already looks quite old. How young were they when they had him?


It’s quite ridiculous. A monk marrying a wife, and a very pretty one at that…

A black cloud hung over Fangzheng’s head instantly. What the heck? Could the imaginations of ordinary commoners not be that rich, please?
Thankfully Ouyang Fenghua dhad not heard them. Instead, she was rummaging for her identity card before waving her hand.
Master, Jingxin, let’s go!

Fangzheng and Red Boy quickly followed Ouyang Fenghua into the hotel.

Madam, how many- Uh…
The counter staff looked up and saw Ouyang Fenghua. Just as he was about to ask, he was stunned rooted to the spot as he looked at the odd group in front of him. His mind went blank momentarily. A family? Wasn’t the girl too young? Was it not a family? But for a man and woman to travel with a child… The main problem was… This monk was getting a room with the girl in a hotel? Fk, what the heck was happening? Instantly, the front counter turned into chaos.


Three people. Two rooms,
said Ouyang Fenghua with a blushing face. This was the first time she was coming to a hotel with a member of the opposite sex in her life. She never imagined that her first would be with a monk! She could also guess the reason for the counter staff’s reaction. She felt even more embarrassed and upset. Although a clear conscience wasn’t afraid of false accusations, she still felt strange being stared at with such odd looks. Therefore she deliberately emphasized the three and two to avoid any misunderstandings.
Fangzheng was similarly feeling uncomfortable about it as he looked up at the ceiling while he chanted the Clear Minded Chant. It was not because he had some nefarious thoughts, but he found it very embarrassing! Meanwhile he was thinking to himself,
My cultivation of mind and body is still insufficient. If it were Old Dad One Finger, he would probably treat whatever others said as air.
Fangzheng’s heart calmed down when he thought of Zen Master One Finger.
Instead it was Red Boy who did not know any embarrassment. He looked around in curiosity.
The staff was momentarily taken aback before coming to his senses. Upon hearing that there were two rooms, he heaved a sigh of relief, but…

Sorry, we only have one room left.
The staff looked at Ouyang Fenghua and Fangzheng helplessly.
Fangzheng and Ouyang Fenghua were dumbfounded.

One room? There aren’t any other spare rooms?
asked Ouyang Fenghua.
The staff shook his head and smiled wryly.
All of you must be here for the Dharma Assembly the day after tomorrow, right? At the moment, the entire Tanzhong City is filled with people attending the Dharma Assembly. To be honest, it’s already pretty good to even have one spare room. You can check with the other hotels if you are doubtful. They should be out of rooms as well. Typically, most of the rooms are reserved a week in advance. This room we have was just canceled by someone.

Fangzheng and Ouyang Fenghua recalled the couple that had rushed off moments earlier.

Master, what do we do?
Ouyang Fenghua sought his help.
Fangzheng smiled wryly.
Get it. This Penniless Monk saw that there are sofas in the lobby. Sleeping on the sofa for a night would do, right?


How can I let you do that? We agreed for you to bring me to the Dharma Assembly, while I would pay for food and lodging. How can you sleep in the lobby while I sleep in the room? That won’t do. Why don’t I sleep in the lobby while you sleep in the room?
Ouyang Fenghua shook her head immediately. To others, Fangzheng was only a monk, but in her eyes, he was a master calligrapher who had trashed her father! Such a person was extremely esteemed, so how could he sleep in the lobby? If her father were to catch wind of it, she would likely get a beating.
Just as the two were arguing over who should take the room, the staff said with a bitter smile.
Sir, Madam, there’s no need to argue further. The last room has been reserved online.

Fangzheng and Ouyang Fenghua were completely dumbfounded. What could they do? Sleep on the street?

I don’t believe it. Not a single room?
Ouyang Fenghua fished out her cell phone and sat in the lobby to search for vacancies. However all she saw were ‘sold-out’ labels on every hotel listing. Then she looked miserably at Fangzheng.
Master, why did you argue with me? At the very least, we could have had one room.

Fangzheng also felt helpless. Could he be blamed for this? If he were to sleep in the room, ignoring the uncertainty of receiving Buddha’s forgiveness, he would definitely not be doing something. He was a man after all. How could he let a girl sleep on a sofa in the hotel’s lobby?
The two looked each other in the eye before letting out a long sigh as they planned to head out.
At the same time, there were two men sauntering towards the hotel. They had fat ears, making them resemble monks. As they walked, one of the monks whispered,
Brother, take a whiff. Can you smell the alcohol in my mouth?


It’s gone. It’s gone. Brother, you lack guts. Just those old fools in our monastery have turned into fools from chanting scriptures all day. As long as we do not drink in front of them, they won’t know sht!
said the other monk without any concern.

What do you mean I lack guts? Zhiyun, I’m telling you that I’m what’s called being meticulous! For us brothers to last until today was not easy. Countless people covet my position. Being careful and meticulous can’t be faulted,
said the taller monk.

Brother, there aren’t any outsiders here. Can you not call me by my Dharma name? Hearing it makes me feel like a real monk… If I had to say something, when are we going to renounce asceticism?
Zhiyun said unsatisfied.

Renounce asceticism? Why renounce? Are you lacking in food to eat or clothes to wear? Or are you lacking in women? Also, call me by my Dharma name. There’s nothing wrong with being careful,
said the taller monk.

No, Brother… Sigh, Master Zhineng! Are you happy now? I know it’s nice being a monk. Food and drink aren’t a problem, but… I’m already sick of the women at the foot of our mountain. It was not easy for us to go elsewhere. Yet, you don’t let me patronize them. I’m dying from blue balls, man!
grumbled Zhiyun.
Chapter 393: Fake Monks
Translator: 
CKtalon 
 Editor: 
CKtalon
Red Boy feigned sleeping by shutting his eyes the moment he heard Fangzheng.
Fangzheng was helpless against this. It was not easy to teach a brat like him.
Instead, it was Ouyang Fenghua who seemed to enjoy the teachings as she nodded incessantly.
Master, you are absolutely right.


Nothing unpleasant happened during the remainder of the journey. Soon they arrived at Tanzhong City. When they disembarked the train, they could see the Changbai mountain range sprawling across the horizon like a black dragon in the distance. The high-speed rail station was a certain distance away from the city center, but thankfully there was a bus at the entrance. However it was no longer early, and Ouyang Fenghua was clearly exhausted.
Master, since the Dharma Assembly is the day after tomorrow, let’s find a place to rest. I feel like I’ll die from sitting.

Fangzheng was not particular about it. He was fine with anything as long as he didn’t need to pay! He nodded.
Amitabha. As you wish, Patron.

Thrilled, Ouyang Fenghua immediately found a bus, and they headed for the city.
More than ten minutes later, Fangzheng looked up at the towering building that was more than ten floors high. He rubbed his nose and thought to himself,
This is probably the most enjoyable moment for This Penniless Monk.

At that moment, a couple walked out of the building while dragging suitcases. They looked to be in a hurry, but when they passed by Fangzheng, Ouyang Fenghua, and Red Boy, they turned their heads to look at them strangely.
The woman said under her breath,
Seriously, things ain’t as they used to be. To think a monk is openly walking with his wife and child. Sigh… The child already looks quite old. How young were they when they had him?


It’s quite ridiculous. A monk marrying a wife, and a very pretty one at that…

A black cloud hung over Fangzheng’s head instantly. What the heck? Could the imaginations of ordinary commoners not be that rich, please?
Thankfully Ouyang Fenghua dhad not heard them. Instead, she was rummaging for her identity card before waving her hand.
Master, Jingxin, let’s go!

Fangzheng and Red Boy quickly followed Ouyang Fenghua into the hotel.

Madam, how many- Uh…
The counter staff looked up and saw Ouyang Fenghua. Just as he was about to ask, he was stunned rooted to the spot as he looked at the odd group in front of him. His mind went blank momentarily. A family? Wasn’t the girl too young? Was it not a family? But for a man and woman to travel with a child… The main problem was… This monk was getting a room with the girl in a hotel? Fk, what the heck was happening? Instantly, the front counter turned into chaos.


Three people. Two rooms,
said Ouyang Fenghua with a blushing face. This was the first time she was coming to a hotel with a member of the opposite sex in her life. She never imagined that her first would be with a monk! She could also guess the reason for the counter staff’s reaction. She felt even more embarrassed and upset. Although a clear conscience wasn’t afraid of false accusations, she still felt strange being stared at with such odd looks. Therefore she deliberately emphasized the three and two to avoid any misunderstandings.
Fangzheng was similarly feeling uncomfortable about it as he looked up at the ceiling while he chanted the Clear Minded Chant. It was not because he had some nefarious thoughts, but he found it very embarrassing! Meanwhile he was thinking to himself,
My cultivation of mind and body is still insufficient. If it were Old Dad One Finger, he would probably treat whatever others said as air.
Fangzheng’s heart calmed down when he thought of Zen Master One Finger.
Instead it was Red Boy who did not know any embarrassment. He looked around in curiosity.
The staff was momentarily taken aback before coming to his senses. Upon hearing that there were two rooms, he heaved a sigh of relief, but…

Sorry, we only have one room left.
The staff looked at Ouyang Fenghua and Fangzheng helplessly.
Fangzheng and Ouyang Fenghua were dumbfounded.

One room? There aren’t any other spare rooms?
asked Ouyang Fenghua.
The staff shook his head and smiled wryly.
All of you must be here for the Dharma Assembly the day after tomorrow, right? At the moment, the entire Tanzhong City is filled with people attending the Dharma Assembly. To be honest, it’s already pretty good to even have one spare room. You can check with the other hotels if you are doubtful. They should be out of rooms as well. Typically, most of the rooms are reserved a week in advance. This room we have was just canceled by someone.

Fangzheng and Ouyang Fenghua recalled the couple that had rushed off moments earlier.

Master, what do we do?
Ouyang Fenghua sought his help.
Fangzheng smiled wryly.
Get it. This Penniless Monk saw that there are sofas in the lobby. Sleeping on the sofa for a night would do, right?


How can I let you do that? We agreed for you to bring me to the Dharma Assembly, while I would pay for food and lodging. How can you sleep in the lobby while I sleep in the room? That won’t do. Why don’t I sleep in the lobby while you sleep in the room?
Ouyang Fenghua shook her head immediately. To others, Fangzheng was only a monk, but in her eyes, he was a master calligrapher who had trashed her father! Such a person was extremely esteemed, so how could he sleep in the lobby? If her father were to catch wind of it, she would likely get a beating.
Just as the two were arguing over who should take the room, the staff said with a bitter smile.
Sir, Madam, there’s no need to argue further. The last room has been reserved online.

Fangzheng and Ouyang Fenghua were completely dumbfounded. What could they do? Sleep on the street?

I don’t believe it. Not a single room?
Ouyang Fenghua fished out her cell phone and sat in the lobby to search for vacancies. However all she saw were ‘sold-out’ labels on every hotel listing. Then she looked miserably at Fangzheng.
Master, why did you argue with me? At the very least, we could have had one room.

Fangzheng also felt helpless. Could he be blamed for this? If he were to sleep in the room, ignoring the uncertainty of receiving Buddha’s forgiveness, he would definitely not be doing something. He was a man after all. How could he let a girl sleep on a sofa in the hotel’s lobby?
The two looked each other in the eye before letting out a long sigh as they planned to head out.
At the same time, there were two men sauntering towards the hotel. They had fat ears, making them resemble monks. As they walked, one of the monks whispered,
Brother, take a whiff. Can you smell the alcohol in my mouth?


It’s gone. It’s gone. Brother, you lack guts. Just those old fools in our monastery have turned into fools from chanting scriptures all day. As long as we do not drink in front of them, they won’t know sht!
said the other monk without any concern.

What do you mean I lack guts? Zhiyun, I’m telling you that I’m what’s called being meticulous! For us brothers to last until today was not easy. Countless people covet my position. Being careful and meticulous can’t be faulted,
said the taller monk.

Brother, there aren’t any outsiders here. Can you not call me by my Dharma name? Hearing it makes me feel like a real monk… If I had to say something, when are we going to renounce asceticism?
Zhiyun said unsatisfied.

Renounce asceticism? Why renounce? Are you lacking in food to eat or clothes to wear? Or are you lacking in women? Also, call me by my Dharma name. There’s nothing wrong with being careful,
said the taller monk.

No, Brother… Sigh, Master Zhineng! Are you happy now? I know it’s nice being a monk. Food and drink aren’t a problem, but… I’m already sick of the women at the foot of our mountain. It was not easy for us to go elsewhere. Yet, you don’t let me patronize them. I’m dying from blue balls, man!
grumbled Zhiyun.
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