Chapter 51

: This Head is really Hard!
Translator: 
CKtalon 
 Editor: 
CKtalon
Fangzheng replied with a question,
Patron, so what if This Penniless Monk is dumb, and so what if he isn’t?


I see now. You’re fcking acting the fool!
Han Xiaoguo roared.
At that moment, the fragrance of rice came emanating over.
Gulu, Gulu!
Two stomachs growled simultaneously. Fangzheng and Han Xiaoguo were famished.
Han Xiaoguo said,
Little Monk, so you were cooking something in the back kitchen?

Fangzheng said,
Amitabha. Yes, but it is only for one.


It’s mine! Don’t you say no to me or I might blow your brains out!
Han Xiaoguo threatened.

That won’t do. This Penniless Monk hasn’t eaten an entire day and is ravished by hunger. Patron, if you are hungry, it’s best you go down the mountain to have your meal,
said Fangzheng.

Down your ass! I’ll be staying and eating on this mountaintop today! No one can chase me away!
Han Xiaoguo said furiously.
Fangzheng said with a sigh,
Then feel free to do so. It’s time for This Penniless Monk to have his meal.
With that said, Fangzheng turned around right in front of Han Xiaoguo’s face!

Stop right there! If not I’ll kill you!
Han Xiaoguo was given a fright.
However, Fangzheng smiled genially and said,
Patron, why are you so nervous? If you don’t shoot, we can still have a chat to kill time. If you were to shoot, the police standing guard down the mountain will come. When that happens, none of us will have anything to eat.

The more the fragrance assaulted Han Xiaoguo’s olfactory senses, the hungrier he became. He swallowed his saliva and placed the tip of his gun against Fangzheng. He said,
Either you obey me or I’ll kill you! I will use actions to tell you that guns are not needed to kill a person!
With that said, he held a knife to Fangzheng’s back.
Fangzheng shook his head slightly and said,
Whatever. This Penniless Monk is also hungry. If This Penniless Monk doesn’t take a look, the rice will be overcooked. Let’s go.

With that said, Fangzheng walked off without waiting for Han Xiaoguo’s reaction!
As such, he left the range of Han Xiaoguo’s knife. When Han Xiaoguo snapped out of his daze, he raised his gun at Fangzheng and followed behind. As he walked, he said,
Little Monk, don’t you try any tricks on me! If not, I’ll really send you to the Western Paradise to see Buddha!


Amitabha. Patron, if you truly have that ability, This Penniless Monk would really wish to see Buddha.
Fangzheng was not lying. He truly, truly did not want to be a monk! Although his present life wasn’t considered bad, it was quite a torture spending his days alone on the mountaintop!
However, Han Xiaoguo had no idea what Fangzheng was thinking. He only thought that it was just a provocation. He raised his hand and struck Fangzheng’s bald head!
The outcome-
Bam!

Ouch!
Han Xiaoguo soothed his hand and cursed,
Little Monk, is that head of yours made of rock? Why is it so hard?


Amitabha, This Penniless Monk’s head has been a little hard since a young age. It’s truly a sin to cause you harm,
said Fangzheng.
Han Xiaoguo’s face turned red. He had been a mercenary soldier all his life, and this was the first time he felt pain from beating someone. Furthermore, he was being consoled by his victim. This felt like sarcasm through and through!
Therefore, Han Xiaoguo raised his hand and smashed down once again!
Dang!
Han Xiaoguo felt like he had seen a ghost. This time, he had used the butt of the gun, but when it struck the bald head, it caused sparks!
Fangzheng sighed and turned his head to look at the stupefied Han Xiaoguo.
Patron, can we proceed to the back kitchen properly? Your insistence on touching This Penniless Monk’s head from time to time is rather inelegant. If you continue, This Penniless Monk might report you for harassment.


What the hell are you?
Han Xiaoguo stared at Fangzheng warily.

Amitabha. This Penniless Monk is Fangzheng, the abbot of One Finger Temple,
replied Fangzheng.
Han Xiaoguo tightened his grip on his gun and managed to compose himself. He thought to himself,
This monk is a little strange. But no matter how strange you are, you are still a human! Even if you know martial arts, there’s no way you can be faster than a bullet or impervious to knives and guns!

Having thought of this, Han Xiaoguo became emboldened once again. He pointed the gun right at Fangzheng’s head and bellowed coldly,
Cut the crap! Bring me to have my meal!

Fangzheng nodded. Han Xiaoguo saw that the damn monk did not appear threatened at all. He simply continued walking his merry way! Han Xiaoguo’s gun was still pointed at his head. Couldn’t he show some respect for the gun? Can’t you show a bit of fear?
Fangzheng walked into the kitchen and opened the lid. White steam rose as fragrance emanated throughout the area!
Gulu, Gulu!
Fangzheng and Han Xiaoguo’s stomachs protested once again.
Han Xiaoguo’s eyes turned red as he said,
What rice is this? Why does it smell so good? Eh? The rice is so pretty!

Fangzheng ignored him and picked up a bowl, quickly filling it up.
Seeing how Fangzheng was being submissive, Han Xiaoguo smiled for the first time as he said,
Little Monk, that’s more like- Fck you! That’s my rice!

Before he could finish praising Fangzheng, Fangzheng had already sat down beside the stove and begun eating!
Han Xiaoguo yelled, but not only did Fangzheng not stop, he even ate at a faster rate!
Han Xiaoguo placed the gun tip to Fangzheng’s head and was just about to teach him a lesson when Fangzheng turned around and walked out! Once again, he had ignored his gun!
Han Xiaoguo was truly infuriated. He raised the gun and pointed it at Fangzheng’s bald head. He yelled,
Darn monk, if you dare take another mouth of my rice, I guarantee you that I’ll finish you!

Fangzheng nonchalantly turned around and vanished from his vision! Fangzheng was puzzled as he thought,
Is this fellow dumb? There is still rice in the pot. What are you staring at me so intently for? Are you only satisfied if you take it all? What sort of person are you?

Han Xiaoguo quickly chased after Fangzheng and saw him walk toward the courtyard. Han Xiaoguo was tempted to shoot at him a few times, but he held back. After all, this area was empty. A gunshot would truly attract the police. That was something he did not want to happen.
Han Xiaoguo chased up to Fangzheng to see him sitting under the bodhi tree and having a good time eating.
Han Xiaoguo looked carefully as he nearly blew his top,
Leave a mouthful for me!

However, Fangzheng looked up, and the sound of chopsticks striking the bowl sounded again and again. The last mouthful was soon finished by him!

My! Darn monk, die!
Han Xiaoguo was truly incensed. From the moment they met, the monk had not thought anything of him. He had been stifling his anger but now, he was utterly famished. The rice was also extraordinarily fragrant. It stimulated his gastric juices so much it felt as if they were about to rip out of his stomach! Even though he had undergone starvation training, he could not withstand this sense of hunger that felt magnified by ten times.
Therefore, Han Xiaoguo decided to pull the trigger.
However-
Creak.
A sound came from the back kitchen.

Who?!
Han Xiaoguo turned around and yelled warily.
Fangzheng looked up and calmly said,
Dog.


You even own a dog?
Han Xiaoguo stared at Fangzheng intently.
Fangzheng stood up and came in front of Han Xiaoguo. He opened his mouth and-
Burp.
Fangzheng burped as the rice fragrance from his mouth immediately stirred a reaction from Han Xiaoguo.
Gulu!

Lead the way!
Han Xiaoguo endured his hunger pangs and pointed the gun at Fangzheng’s bald head.
Then, he was devastated to realize that the monk walked away, leaving his gun hanging in mid-air without a target once again! He had been ignored again!
Thankfully, Fangzheng was very obedient as he led the way to the back kitchen. Han Xiaoguo hid behind Fangzheng on full alert. He was prepared to use Fangzheng as a hostage or a shield at any time. The result of him being so careful was him walking very slowly, and he also forced Fangzheng to slow down…