Chapter 798 - Here to Cause Trouble, Right?

Chapter 798: Here to Cause Trouble, Right?
Translator: 
CKtalon 
 Editor: 
CKtalon

Fangzheng said with a smile,
That is This Penniless Monk indeed. Patron, you are looking for This Penniless Monk?


Master, hello. My name is Cao Ye. I have a knot in my heart I can’t seem to resolve. I heard that you were a learned man, so I hope… To seek answers from you,
Cao Ye said in embarrassment.
Many people came to Fangzheng to resolve their problems, but most of them directly asked whether they had good or bad fortune. With regards to this, Fangzheng always kept silent. He was not a fortune teller. Besides, for people without merit on them, Fangzheng wouldn’t easily activate his Wisdom Eye to give them guidance. In any case, he wasn’t surprised to hear Cao Ye make such a request. He pointed to the chairs under the bodhi tree, and they took their seats.
After sitting down, Fangzheng said,
Patron, if there are any puzzlements, feel free to ask. If This Penniless Monk has an answer, he will naturally give it to you. If This Penniless Monk’s wisdom is lacking, please do not blame This Penniless Monk.

To resolve the knot in someone’s heart did not only require divine powers but had more to do with one’s understanding of life and the Buddhist Dharma. On this aspect, Fangzheng didn’t dare brag or make any bold claims. Therefore, he made it clear from the beginning that he would make a comment if he knew, but apologized ahead of time in case he didn’t and wasn’t able to help him. He didn’t want to be placed in a situation where after bragging all day he was forced to realize he couldn’t be of help. That way, it would only harm others and if his solution wasn’t of use, he might even suffer karmic retribution. It wasn’t worth it. And if his attempt to hoodwink Cao Ye was exposed, it would be embarrassing and would tarnish his reputation.


Cao Ye felt relieved when he heard that. He had seen many cheats, fake monks, and fake Daoists. They would claim to know everything, claiming at random to be the reincarnation of Buddha or some Perfected Lord’s mortal incarnation. This was the first time he encountered such an honest monk. He felt more assured hearing such words.
However, Cao Ye still appeared flustered. He sat there, wringing his hands, as though he was embarrassed.
Fangzheng didn’t rush him. He sat there waiting in silence. He refused to believe that the punk had an unlimited store of warmth to resist the cold on such a cold day. It wasn’t like he had a White Lunar Monk Robe as well, was it?
As expected, Cao Ye only sat for a moment before feeling the northern wind chill his entire person. Even the Frost Bamboo chair at his buttocks felt cold. He felt that if he continued sitting there, even his ass would freeze. Therefore, he moved his butt in his seat, as though he could gain some heat from the friction, but ultimately, he couldn’t hold it any longer and said,
Master, I… I’m chasing a girl.

Fangzheng was rendered speechless the moment he heard that. Was it right to talk to a monk on such matters?
Monkey looked up into the sky, looking at the Mt. Tongtian mountain range opposite Mt. One Finger… If he remembered correctly, the last person who had come to ask this question had gotten the suggestion to head over to that mountain to build a monastery.
Seeing Fangzheng’s silence, he thought that Fangzheng was listening and continued. He was a little shy when silent, but the moment he spoke, things became better. His sentences became smoother as he said,
I… I’m still in college, but I really like her. She’s the especially cute kind of girl who enjoys eating, chatting, etc. Her every action is extremely adorable…

The more Fangzheng heard, the more unhappy he was. Valentine’s day was over, and he had been hiding in the mountains. Even the mountain was sealed off by snow, so why couldn’t he escape this reminder of romantic affection?
Cao Ye went on and on about the merits of the girl for more than ten minutes…
Fangzheng couldn’t stand hearing any longer as he finally interrupted him.
Patron, does she like you?



Cao Ye was instantly stunned rooted to his spot. Then, like a frost-bitten eggplant, he seemed to wither as he said bitterly,
If she liked me, why would I be here?

Fangzheng rolled his eyes inwardly. The discomfort he had felt before became a lot smaller because of their shared predicament of being single.
Monkey shook his head and left, mumbling.
Those who have the same misfortune in love sympathize with each other, so why make it worse when together? Sigh, apparently I’m also single. Amitabha.

Cao Ye continued.
Actually, I’m not sure if she likes me or not.

Fangzheng thought,
If even you don’t know, why are you here asking me?
Although Fangzheng didn’t know how to court girls, there was one thing he knew. Everything needed to be absolutely clear and open! Otherwise, being secretly in a one-sided love, even if you tore down a wall with your romantic pining, who would know? Back when Fangzheng was still in school, his deskmate happened to be in a one-sided love. He secretly bought all sorts of food for the girl he liked but was too shy to make it clear. Every time he was asked who was the one who had bought the food, he would point at another classmate with his face blushing red. In the end, his dream girl ended up with that classmate half a year later. And that classmate wasn’t honest; he even claimed that it had indeed been him all along! One day while chatting, the classmate even chuckled foolishly, saying a girlfriend had fallen from the sky for him. He had really lucked out!
For this, his deskmate received a new nickname—the new-generation Lei Feng and a girl-giving principal graduate.
With this experience, Fangzheng understood something—regardless of the other party liking you, being open in your courtship would at least guarantee that your efforts weren’t in vain.
With this in mind, Fangzheng was just about to say something when Cao Ye said,
Some people who don’t know any better suggested that I be open and clear about it.

The moment that was said, Fangzheng was taken aback. He felt a little embarrassed to say what he wanted to say now, so he first asked,
And then?

Cao Ye said,
Then I went to talk to her.




And then?
Fangzheng asked. He too was curious now; what had happened after being open and clear?
Cao Ye shrugged and said,
And then she told me that we are all still in school and don’t have anything yet. Everything we have is thanks to our parents. By chasing her, what can I give her? Master, tell me. Since we are all still in school, what can 
I give her?

Fangzheng frowned slightly. This was indeed quite a tough problem. After frowning and thinking hard for a moment, Fangzheng had an idea. It was only right to express his stance at that moment. It was the prime time to say things like how he had to be sincere.
But before Fangzheng could speak, Cao Ye said,
This question really stumped me. Then that completely emotionally unintelligent, good-for-nothing bunkmate of mine said that at this time, I should say things like ‘I have a sincere and genuine heart. Although I don’t have anything now, I will work hard to give you everything in the future!’

Fangzheng’s expression darkened the moment he heard that. Why did he feel that the punk was only there to cause trouble? However he still asked,
And then?

Cao Ye said,
And then, and then, I did as he told me to.


And then?
Fangzheng was really curious. Having gone this far, how would the girl react?
Cao Ye sighed and said,
My dream girl looked at me like I was mentally challenged. She laughed sarcastically and didn’t say a word before turning around to walk off. Master, can you tell me what she means by that?

When Fangzheng heard that, his head was instantly covered with cold sweat. Asking him such a question, how would he know? As the saying went, a woman’s thoughts were impossible to grasp, but since he had been asked, he had to give an answer, right? Therefore, Fangzheng planned on using this saying as an answer, as a form of showing the man respect.
But Cao Ye said,
Sigh, I asked the few idiots in my dormitory room, but none of them could tell me the answer. They said something about a woman’s thoughts being impossible to grasp or something like that. Bullsht! If they are brainless, so be it. Why do they need to come up with excuses? Idiots!



Fangzheng’s expression darkened once more when he heard that! He even felt like opening up the kid’s head to see if he was a manifestation of Salted Fish. He was definitely there to cause trouble!