Chapter 6: Why be willing

When Belle rushed into the door, Luo Zhi was sitting in a chair staring at the square light projected by the sunlight on the ground in a daze, and was suddenly frightened by the opponent's loud voice.
"Why don't you go out? The club recruits new people. There are so many people. The animation club also has cosplay (role playing) performances."
Two weeks have passed since I met Sheng Huainan. At the end of September, the autumn tiger had passed and the weather turned cold. Although the sun was shining today, it was extremely cold. Luo Zhi caught up with "the few days of the month" again, with cold hands and feet. She retracted her neck into the sweater collar, held the hot water cup in both hands, and shrank into a ball, her eyes blank. Although the outside might be much warmer than the cold room at this time, she just didn't want to move.
Gobi is the minister of the League of Youth League Committees, and various clubs have been recruiting new people lively these days. As a superior, he has a lot of work to do, but his freshman clerks have just been recruited, and the work has not yet started. The sophomore old clerks have left since they have no titles to mix up. At such a moment of non-compliance, Jiang Baili became the main force without status. She did her part and was busy every day. The two people did not quarrel for about a week, which surprised Luo Zhi.
Belle dragged Luo Zhi up from the chair, chattering like a machine gun: "A few members will come over to discuss the evening party. Aren't you most afraid of noise? Go out and go around. Look at you, it's not in October. What kind of sweater are you wearing, are you from the north? What a shame."
Belle answered the phone as soon as she finished speaking.
"Really invite me to eat tonight? I'm too lazy to get the door, let me take it out. I still have a PAPAJOHN'S discount card, a 30% student card, a while ago, your beautiful Liu Jing wooed everyone to do it The card, forget it?...Anyway, the few members who are waiting for yours come, I will let them pass you, don’t rely on it, you said you want to ask."
She smiled and sat on Luo Zhi's table: "Well, they will come in a while, have you finished the meeting?...Oh, it's annoying! I see!"
Luo Zhi reluctantly looked up at Jiang Baili, who was enthusiastically discharging the phone. He slowly took off her winter sweater, put on her coat and walked out of the dormitory door.
She walked aimlessly, looking up at the golden ginkgo leaves and the dazzling afternoon sun through the gaps, spreading her fingers to the sky, letting the sun's shards sting her eyes.
I was bored, a little annoyed that I didn't bring out the IELTS vocabulary book, thinking of Jiang Baili's sweet and greasy charm, and I didn't bother to return.
Luo Zhi was staring at the row of bicycles in front of the building in a daze, and felt that someone was looking at him.
A strange girl was smiling at her. The girl wears light blue metal frame glasses with wide eye distances, whitish jeans and light purple long-sleeved T-shirt. The trousers are not fit, and the thighs are tight.
Luo Zhi suddenly remembered that she was her high school alumni, and her name seemed to be Zheng Wenrui.
"What are you in a daze?" Zheng Wenrui asked.
"No, just think about it... Then I should do something." The other's familiar tone made her a little uncomfortable.
"have you eaten?"
"It's too early now, I plan to go back to the dormitory to clean up and eat."
"Then let's go together."
She raised her eyebrows in surprise, nodded subconsciously and said, "Okay."
Luo Zhi didn’t know Zheng Wenrui, but as long as she was a student of Zhenhua High School, she should remember the girl in class 3 (3) who wore a short-sleeved T-shirt and cropped trousers and stepped on a pair of lace-up sandals to do inter-class exercises. child.
On a cold March day.
Everyone turned their heads and looked in her direction like they had cervical spondylosis. Luo Zhi only knew that this girl had good grades, and now she is studying in the computer department of P major. For that time of her crazy behavior, Luo Zhi also understood it as the quirk of the top students-who doesn't have any quirks? She has a lot of it herself.
However, Zheng Wenrui and her had never even spoken, and this invitation seemed particularly strange.
Zheng Wenrui asked her softly as soon as she took a seat in the barbecue restaurant, "Want to drink some wine, do you mind?"
It turned out that she just grabbed someone casually to accompany her to relieve her sorrow by drinking. Thinking of this, Luo Zhi relaxed a lot.
The barbecue was on the table and the beer came, so the two began to eat silently. Zheng Wenrui drank glass by glass, raised his head occasionally, and smiled cautiously at Luo Zhi.
The strange and quiet atmosphere continued until Zheng Wenrui drank too much.
"I used to be ordinary."
The opening remark is as inexplicable as this meal. Luo Zhi quickly recovered from the daze and nodded, indicating that he was listening.
"In order to get close to him, I studied hard and got into the top five in the class."
Luo Zhi opened his mouth, not knowing what to say. ……you are amazing?
Or who is he?
"But it was useless. So, I later did a lot of embarrassing things to punish myself."
When Zheng Wenrui finished speaking, he raised his head, his eyes were red, and he stared at Luo Zhi stubbornly.
Luo Zhi panicked. She didn't think this was a good time to listen to gossip, and she was not interested. Regarding this inexplicable meal appointment, she only regrets it.
"Like... For example, what embarrassment?" Luo Zhi asked bitterly.
Zheng Wenrui didn't answer, but raised the corner of his mouth and sneered.
Luo Zhi remedied it embarrassingly: "I mean, why are you doing this?"
"To destroy his image in his heart." Zheng Wenrui replied.
Luo Zhi was fascinated by this answer, and he was taken aback for a moment, before turning his head down and staring at the white fat condensed on a piece of roasted pork belly that had been cold.
She thought of herself. Why was she not curious about her "image" in Sheng Huainan's heart, she had no impression when she grabbed the same bottle of black tea, and she was absent-minded when she drank coffee for the first time, what exactly was her image? Was it also ruined by his affectation and anger when he was in the cafe?
Luo Zhi sighed.
"Since there is no way to approach him no matter how good he is, it is better to completely destroy all the ways of approaching. Maybe then I will give up-I might think so." Zheng Wenrui burped, he laughed, Drink the remaining wine in the glass in one gulp and continue.
Luo Zhi smiled upon hearing the words. This idea is quite special.
"But I still don't give up. It's all like this, I still don't give up."
How could it be so easy. Luo Zhi did not speak, and continued to lower his head and smile.
"Do you want to know why I like him?"
Luo Zhi raised his head for a moment.
"Because he is perfect. Because he and I are only separated by one aisle, sitting upright every day, reading books and solving problems, and secretly playing handheld games in class. When called by the teacher, he can still answer all the questions; because he walks with him. The wind, the smell of soft fabric softener on my body, there was no peculiar smell when I came back from the game and I was sweating profusely. I mustered up the courage to pass the paper towel over. I could hear his particularly nice voice saying "Thank you", and he smiled Crooked eyes...
"I don't have any ideals. The expectations of my family rest on my brother. I was admitted to such a good university, and my parents regarded it as a surprise. My family is very mediocre, and I can quarrel with the price of eggs after dinner. I saw them I feel ashamed and want to hide away. But he, he is the most beautiful person I have ever met, unlike everyone I have met before.
"Yes, I know I'm not good-looking, I don't deserve him, but God is unfair, should I give up myself? Why should I like people who are inferior to him, just because people who are worse than him compare with me Match? Why should I want to start something, why should I give priority to it?!"
The more Zheng Wenrui talked, the more excited he got, tears raining down, staring at the grilled meat in front of him, his tight body trembling slightly. At first, Luo Zhi couldn't laugh when facing her headless lyricism, feeling that she was acting. But when I heard this, I felt a little sigh.
Yeah, why give up? God's torment is that it unkindly shows you what is good, then looks at you and covets to look down on everything else, then takes it back and tells you, don't dream, in fact, it has nothing to do with you.
That's why we don't give up.
God is blatantly unfair, but mortals reserve the right to be paranoid.
Luo Zhi thought, unconsciously, the corners of his mouth were a little bitter.
Besides, she already knew that the "he" Zheng Wenrui said was Sheng Huainan, although no one mentioned his name from beginning to end.
She loves him, but he does not love her. This is a very boring topic, and enduring. Zheng Wenrui liked him for a while, confessed, was rejected. Later he had a girlfriend, and she vowed to give it up. Later when he arrived at university, he broke up with his girlfriend. She plucked up the courage to confess again, but was rejected by a "very gentle smile".
What Luo Zhi did was to smile or sigh at the appropriate time, with movements such as shaking his head and nodding, as well as caring and quiet eyes.
Zheng Wenrui said that secret love was too painful. When she learned that he had a girlfriend, she asked the teachers and students of the school to look at herself wearing thinly dressed and doing inter-class exercises. This was ridiculed and made her feel that she deserved it and that she was happy to abuse herself.
That was the last time she was silly in high school.
But not the last time in this life.
She said that she thought she had forgotten and put it down, but she still unconsciously studied the characteristics of his ex-girlfriend in college, and made herself a lively and vivacious girl.
Luo Zhi couldn't laugh or cry, but there was a very gentle emotion in his heart. This weird girl doesn't seem to know the strategy of winning the favor of others, but she is unwilling to laugh at her stupid tricks.
Sister Tao often gathers together and talks about how to help a girlfriend to tie up or play a boy's heart. However, Luo Zhi appreciates this lonely stupid child.
Feeling lonely and courageous, I don't know if it means that.
Of course, she must admit that she likes to watch tragic heroes, and she cannot say that she has no gloomy psychology at all.
Afterwards, Zheng Wenrui was completely drunk, and no longer occasionally said covert words such as "Actually, I wake up, and now I don't care about him very much" to save face, but fell on the table and whimpered. Luo Zhi finally let out a long sigh of relief and turned his eyes to the glass on the right, his expression relaxed and indifferent. The autumn evening in Beijing was a bit bleak, and the temperature difference between inside and outside the rotisserie caused dense drops of water on the windows.
Luo Zhi tentatively picked up a glass of wine and poured it down.
Everyone is not loved, and they are not so brave and brave, so they can only drink to show respect.
There is always such a kind of person in the world, and for mediocre ordinary people, their existence is simply a kind of irony.
Such as Sheng Huainan.
"By the way, you and his ex-girlfriend are classmates, right?"
Luo Zhi was startled, thinking that the person opposite had already fallen asleep.
"Yes."
"How is the relationship?"
"Unfamiliar."
"So is there any contact now?"
"No."
Zheng Wenrui suddenly giggled: "Liar."