: Part Three: Dreaming in the Garden
-
Unrequited Love (Crush on You)
- Ba Yue Chang An
- 5798 characters
- 2021-03-03 09:35:36
Chen Xiaosen often thinks that evaluating a lot of things is right or wrong and worthy or not, often depends on who he will become in the future. People's past is the same as history, which is determined by later people.
If one day she, like her own sister, went from an obedient girl to an older leftover girl, the 32-year-old city museum lecturer with a narrow social circle, she would go through blind date after blind date every day, looking for a good match, flat head The face-faced man serves as the home-maybe she will have deep resentment and regret for the eleventh holiday of the second year of college.
During that flustered long vacation, she let go of a man with a straight face.
Many past events are just a scene in my mind, slowly giving myself some inexplicable meaning. In other words, it has been sublimated into a certain feeling, stored in the corner of memory, and it will spread in the heart with a touch.
What is pervasive-it is never appropriate to describe it anyway.
Therefore, whenever someone asked her why she broke up with Xu Zhian, she didn't think of the young man with his hands in the sun and squinting his eyes-although from any angle, he was the incentive for them to break up.
The steaming foggy images in my mind are actually trains, the dark blue night sky, the flashing orange street lights, the rattling of railroad tracks, and even the horrible aunt next to him sleeping.
In fact, at a certain moment in the night, everything is finished.
On the evening of September 30th, Chen Xiaosen was sitting on a night train heading for Beijing. Although it was a soft-seat car, his buttocks would be a little painful after sitting for too long. The strange woman next to her was already asleep, her face slightly tilted to her side, her mouth opened naturally, her cheekbones protruding, her cheeks sunken, and her ugliness was scary. The breath was accompanied by the snoring sound of if there is no, sometimes strong and sometimes weak, the breath faintly sprayed on Chen Xiaosen's neck. Although the woman closed her eyes, she still gave Chen Xiaosen a sense of insecurity that was shrouded in sight.
She turned her gaze helplessly. Apart from the faint snoring noise in the quiet carriage, there was only the regular noise of the train as it passed the joints of the railroad tracks. Chen Xiaosen has always been in a chaotic and sober state. Hypnotized by the sound of railroad tracks and unidentified carriages, but reluctant to sleep.
Yes, just reluctant.
There are people everywhere, but there is actually no one. They are very strange, they are very silent, only her eyes widened, only herself exists.
Normally, even in leisure time, I often find something to do-time is in the canteen, dormitory, and teaching building, and the computer is refreshed over and over after the Internet, and slowly passes by without my own consciousness.
She looked back, unable to see her own path.
What did you do last Sunday and why did you cheat on your roommate for your homework? Since I haven't studied, why haven't I seen the full set of "Gintama" DVD that I borrowed so hard?
Did I really live?
Chen Xiaosen is not sure.
Only now. She could clearly hear her heartbeat and touch her soul.
It turns out that the soul is still in the body.
It turns out that she still exists.
At that moment, she suddenly wanted to cry. She wanted to pray to God, Jesus, Buddha, Tathagata, and begged them not to stop the train. In the dark blue night, with scattered street lights and sleeping rice fields, she drove to an indifferent distance. .
Don't dawn, don't end.
As if her soul was dew, she would die when she saw the light.
Chen Xiaosen is an ordinary girl.
Ordinary facial features, flat body, calm expression, mediocre intelligence, smooth life track. Back then classmates chatted and mentioned that Zhou Xun had a new movie called "Mingming". Chen Xiaosen, who was sitting outside reading a magazine, overheard it. He raised his head and asked: "What is it called? "Ping Ping"?"
"Ping Ping", is it possible that this movie is about her and her sister?
Chen Xiaosen's mother is a middle school teacher, and his father is a university teacher, neither a key middle school nor a key university. The house is not big or small, the savings are not too much, and there are basically not too many expectations and requirements for the two daughters. It is good to live a healthy and peaceful life.
None of them knew that Chen Xiaosen hated repetition.
So in the New Year, she held Xu Zhi’an’s greeting card, looked at the title page for a long time, and then gave it back to him, saying,
You write. Stutter when you are?"
The train finally arrived. Although it is early autumn, the morning air in Beijing is still a bit cold. She didn't wear thick clothes because Xu Zhian said it would be very hot at noon. Many passengers prepared their luggage early, the aisle was full, and the car rushed out of the car as soon as it stopped and pushed forward. Chen Xiaosen didn't understand what these people were anxious about, as if being preempted by others would be a disadvantage.
She sat in the same position, waiting for people to leave.
Through the window, I saw Xu Zhian. Wearing a yellow long-sleeved T-shirt and dark blue jeans, he ran from a distance, his thighs were round, as if he was fatter, and his sneakers were still dirty.
Chen Xiaosen remembered exactly what he looked like when he saw him, but when he turned around after separation, he seemed to forget it.
After graduating from high school, someone knew that Xu Zhian and Chen Xiaosen were together, and they kindly joked that you two really have a husband and wife relationship—Chen Xiaosen laughed and thought, if you have a husband and wife relationship with someone like yourself, all China can find out. It's about 100 million.
Xu Zhian stared at the car number all the way, stopped at the exit of her car, and looked into the door through the people who got off the car. And Chen Xiaosen looked at him through the window not far away.
The morning came. Her sense of existence weakened little by little, so weak that she forgot to find a sense of existence.
He held her, turning his face and smirking from time to time. Chen Xiaosen was not unhappy in her heart, but when she frequently responded to the joy of the long-lost reunion with a smile, the corners of her mouth fell down, so every time she smiled harder.
They all said that being with Xu Zhian is Chen Xiaosen's blessing.
Not many people have paid attention to them. Chen Xiaosen is a drop of water that can't be distinguished anymore after falling into the ocean. He is neither lively nor dull, and his grades are neither good nor bad; Xu Zhian is the number one in their sciences for three consecutive years. He is honest and loves to play. Nerd with a ball.
They are at the same table.
Only Xu Zhian knows Chen Xiaosen's sharp teeth and laziness. Chen Xiaosen did not deliberately pretend to others or be sincere to Xu Zhian. Ordinary like her, in fact, there are several aspects. Which aspect is shown depends on the mood and habits. In front of everyone, she never competes and wins. This is not because she is hiding her powers or being indifferent to fame and fortune. It is just because she does not have that ability and has no desire to shine; as for being irritable and ruthless in front of her tablemate Xu Zhian, perhaps it is just because of her occasional vent. Desire, and the human nature of bullying and fearing hardship.
However, it was this kind of contrast that ate Xu Zhian to death.
Xu Zhian started chasing her since the second year of high school, but she didn't realize it at all. The other party is recognized as a good person in the class. Whoever asks for the exercises, he will explain to the other party carefully and step by step. So even if he took the initiative to give her two years of counseling, and at the end of the middle of the expiration period, he would give her a review of vertical knowledge points. Apart from saying "thank you" like others, she didn't feel anything special.
He is a good person, she thought.
When he asked her before the college entrance examination, what do you think of me, she still replied: "You are a good person."
The other's face changed, and he lowered his head and said nothing.
The university was about to start and he was going to Beijing. Before leaving, he called her out again.
"I'm going to Beijing, the heart of the motherland!"
The last five words are very loud and have unclear meaning. Although she knew that he was not showing off, maybe he was just a little too excited or nervous?
However, she returned him lazily:
"It's also a blood clot after going, and it can only block the heart."
He scratched the back of his head honestly and smiled.
It will always be like this.
Xu Zhian is a very boring good boy, smart, hardworking, and honest. But it was still boring, and there was never a way to reply to her, even if only once.
Maybe all good students are like this, Chen Xiaosen thought in frustration.
Of course, perhaps in the eyes of others, he is no more interesting than Xu Zhian.
"Go, go, let the heart of the motherland shine." She wished him sincerely.
Then he said: "That...actually, I always...like you."
Chen Xiaosen's heartbeat was steady.
"Can you...be my girlfriend?"
Chen Xiaosen looked calm. She can no longer recall how she felt at the time, perhaps this forgetfulness itself has explained everything.
She said, "Okay."
He was stunned and said incoherently: "I, I thought...I just...I'm going to Beijing anyway, so I muster up my courage...Unexpectedly... it's great, great..."
It turned out to be the last fight before leaving.
This confession was immediately suspected of being brave.
However, it is a confession after all.
He took her home, and she held him, as if holding her brother.
Xiaosen's sister first learned about her sister's long-distance relationship. I am very happy for her to learn that the other party is at the same table in the high school of a famous university. Her sister is very different from her, her sister's ordinaryness reveals innocence and kindness, while Chen Xiaosen's ordinaryness lurks lazily indifferent and she does not know the undercurrents and meanness.
Anyway, she has no one she likes, and no one likes her anyway, anyway, the other party is a potential stock, anyway, the other party is a good person, anyway, she is not a bad person, anyway, no one can tell in the future, anyway...
Anyway, she didn't realize that she, who had been sighing about her sister who was forced to go on blind dates because of reality, was actually the coldest and most realistic one.
There are always some people who are not qualified to enjoy the vigor of the wind and the snow and the moon.
I took the subway from the train station and went to P University, which happened to be nine o'clock. The guest house's room was tight. The last guest in the standard room Xu Zhian had booked for her had not checked out yet, so he first led her to his dormitory and put down the heavy backpack.
There was a bit of musty smell in the corridor, but it was clean and tidy. Xu Zhian took out the key to open the door, looked inside with the probe, and then softly said to her: "They are all sleeping, let's be softer."
On the morning of the holiday, I don’t sleep late, and the heavens die.
It was a little hot indoors, but there was no smell of smelly socks as imagined. There are six combined desks on the left and three bunk beds on the right. There are wardrobes and shoe cabinets at the door. Although the desks are a bit messy, the laptop data cables and network cables are tangled together, but they are generally clean dormitories. Xu Zhian walked gently to the desk at the end, put her schoolbag on the ground, and then began to look for student cards on her messy desk. Chen Xiaosen was standing near the door, the faint morning light shone through the gaps in the curtains, and dust could be seen flying.
This is the first time she has entered the boys' dormitory. Chen Xiaosen patrolled around curiously, carefully and slightly guilty peeping at the sleeping faces of the two boys in the lower bunk. A boy covered his entire head under the quilt, and there was only a big bulging bag on the bed. The snow-white quilt of the other boy was in sharp contrast with his dark face. He was lying on his back, with one hand on his ear and the other on his belly. Chen Xiaosen remembers that he had done psychological tests on Sina before. It is said that people with this kind of sleeping appearance are clear and sincere.
She accidentally coughed and heard the noise of the bed next to her. She tilted her head to the right and found that a boy on the upper bunk that was about the same height as her sight just turned around. She was standing too close to the bed, and the boy's breath happened to be on the side of her ear, and Chen Xiaosen was suddenly excited.
The breath of the boy turning over has a faint fragrance.
Chen Xiaosen concentrated.
What an excellent outline of the eyebrows, clean and handsome, like an excellent black and white charcoal sketch, but it is indescribably vivid.
The owner of that face frowned slightly and rubbed the pillow, sank into the soft light blue duvet, then suddenly coughed slightly and opened his eyes in a daze.
The moment he saw Chen Xiaosen, he froze for a while, then suddenly sat up, and the bed creaked. The collar of his plaid pajamas was still standing, his eyes half-squinted, with an ignorant expression on his face.
This makes people want to pinch his face.
This thought made her stunned for a few seconds, and she couldn't help but laugh.
This time, the corners of the mouth no longer felt downward.
The quality of the bed in their dormitory was not very good. It squeaked and made a noise when it moved. The boy also woke up several other people when he sat up. Everyone could sleep in a daze for an instant, but when they saw Chen Xiaosen when their eyes were slightly opened, they rubbed their eyes in disbelief and sat up one after another.
Upon seeing this, Xu Zhian could only smile and said, "This is my girlfriend, Xiaosen."
Several people laughed and laughed while yawning, and said, "No wonder you got up so early. It turned out that you picked up your wife! Ersao early!"
Only the boy on the upper bunk in the corner did not wear a shirt, shrank in embarrassment, stretched out his arm to show half of his shoulder, and said, "Just laughed, sit down, sit down!"
Chen Xiaosen didn't know what to say. She remembered that the sisters in her dormitory often said that she likes hanging out with her boyfriend’s buddies. As a family member, she feels warm to the big family. Besides, boys are often humorous, funny, and slightly insignificant. Harmful.
As soon as she met, she had a good impression of these boys, although she didn't like others calling her "younger sister" or "second sister-in-law". She blushed, smiled reluctantly, and nodded as a greeting.
Unexpectedly, he met the boy who woke up the first time, and was different from those boys who were actually a little shy despite shouting "Second Sisters and Second Sisters". He naturally smiled at her generously and said :"Hello there."
"Hello there."
Even though the eyes seem to be a little bit unable to open.
"What is the second brother looking for?" The boy's voice was somewhat like the Chinese dubbing of Uesugi Tatsuya (the male protagonist in the Japanese anime "Baseball Hero"), and Chen Xiaosen was distracted.
"Student ID. I want to take her to transfer schools. If I want to go to the library, I might check it. Yesterday I lent one to a girl in my class, but I couldn't find my own."
"Take mine, it's in the wallet, you can see it when you open the drawer."
"Well then, thanks."
Xu Zhian walked to the only neatly packed desk in the entire dormitory, squatted on the ground, and opened the drawer.
Chen Xiaosen looked back, and several other boys had fallen back down one after another, buried their heads in the pillows and continued to fall asleep. Only the classmate "Usshan Darya" was sitting against the wall with a slightly startled look, his eyes half-open and half-closed, looking at the square sunlight leaking into the room and spilling on the floor.
He looked attentively. She also looked attentively. Hearing the sound of the drawer closing, Chen Xiaosen hurriedly lowered his head, Xu Zhian said "thank you" to the boy on the bed. The boy laughed, his eyes curled, and said, "You're welcome, call me if you have something to do."
Eyes were bent to the point where they couldn't see clearly, so for a moment Chen Xiaosen felt that the gaze was directed at him, as if the chasing light above the stage was surrounded by dark nothingness, and only she existed alone.
exist.
She didn't lose all of her presence, even if the sun was shining. She thought, her mood gradually improved.
They circled the P big lake a few times, and the sun was just right. In early October, there was still a bit of residual temperature in Beijing. There were still flowers blooming by the lake. Unknown flowers bloomed in full bloom, and clusters of gorgeous pink bloomed all over the branches, even covering the leaves, and it was very crowded. lively. After all, the library did not go in. The teacher who checked today was extremely strict. He took a glance and stopped Xu Zhian from outside: "Is this your student ID?"
Standing behind him, Chen Xiaosen glanced at the orange card pinched in his hand by the teacher. The boy with a dripping smile on it was so different from Xu Zhian that there was no room for lying and deceiving.
He bowed his head to apologize to the teacher, and the two of them could only leave the entrance. Chen Xiaosen raised his head to meet the sun, and the tall dark gray building stood quietly in front of the blue sky with its back. Xu Zhian kept apologizing. She smiled lightly and said, "I didn't want to go in."
"It's just because it's famous, but I don't know the huge collection of books in it, so why go in."
Xu Zhian breathed a sigh of relief and asked her whether she would like to see the Bird's Nest and Water Cube under construction, or to the old Beijing attractions such as Houhai and Liulichang. She smiled politely and said, "You decide, I don't care."
The sun is very comfortable. She was inexplicably happy, and inexplicably out of interest.
After a long time, Xu Zhian sighed slowly. Chen Xiaosen looked ahead and slowly yawned.
I don't know when the hand holding her loosened, Chen Xiaosen stopped, and they had already reached the gate of the school.
"this is?"
"Simon, it's the main entrance. Let's take a picture together."
"Oh, OK."
Please pass by the school students, they took a plain picture side by side. Xu Zhian was expressionless, the collar of the T-shirt was tilted to one side, and there was a little sweat on his forehead; Chen Xiaosen's smile was flat, the driving all night made her a little dark under the eyes and her face was greasy.
Xu Zhian stared at the screen of the digital camera for a long time. Chen Xiaosen was surprised that such a photo could be studied, but he didn't urge.
"Xiaosen, are you unhappy?"
She was surprised: "No."
"Then are you happy?"
She paused: "Very happy."
"I'm so happy that you can come over. I almost couldn't sleep last night."
The tone of Xu Zhian's statement was not happy, but there was a vague sadness. Chen Xiaosen turned her face away, she didn't want to admit that she had some sympathy for Xu Zhian at this moment-sympathizing with her boyfriend, having no qualifications and standpoint, and sympathizing funny and sad.
How do people talk about long-distance relationships? Every day I use text messages and QQ to keep telling each other "I love you", "I miss you", "How are you doing", "Are you good", "Did you miss me?" As soon as the holiday comes, I am busy booking tickets and packing. Take turns to each other's location? Or, holding hands, hugging, kissing?
Chen Xiaosen found that he was not very clear.
There is an awkward gap between them, which is obvious, but no one pierces it. Xu Zhian tried his best to treat her well. He waited on QQ every day, short messages in the morning, noon and evening, and asked for warmth. On May 1st and 11th, he ran home to her hometown to visit her university...
Everyone said: "Your boyfriend is really good." The roommate on the upper bunk is not level behind, thinking that Chen Xiaosen and her are equally tasteless. Why is Chen Xiaosen's boyfriend an affectionate and talented student?
Everyone was saying to her: "You are so happy, Xu Zhian is so good."
This kind of bombardment reinforcement made her feel that she should really love him because he is good.
After all, it's not an unrealistic Cinderella. Cinderella is not a real Cinderella, she is a princess in trouble, except for being forced to do coolies, everything about her is perfect.
Therefore, Chen Xiaosen knew better than anyone else that he should be safe. She tells herself that she lives peacefully, anyway, she has already got too many average points, her life has passed, and she doesn’t need to be anxious and hard-working because of the desire to compete or be forced by the helpless reality like others, even feelings. The so-so is enviable.
If a person wants to live a good life, he cannot toss about or think about it. How many brides can run away with their wedding dresses in the world?
When Xu Zhian told her on QQ that the student union in her department had an event on November 11, he couldn't walk away, so he couldn't go to see her, there was a deep guilt in his tone. She obviously even breathed a sigh of relief because of this, but seeing the guilt, her conscience made her unbearable.
"I'll go to Beijing to find you." She said.
It was such an act that was not necessarily true, which moved him so much and happily typed a lot of emojis. Chen Xiaosen was silent, his fingers dangling on the keyboard, shaking, but still retracted.
This cheap care gave her a reason to comfort herself-after all, I have also paid for this relationship, and I am also operating it.
After spending a whole day in Beijing, she fell asleep early and tired.
The alarm clock was set very early, and she deliberately got up early because of a light makeup. Today's event is very special, she cannot be as embarrassed as yesterday.
However, people who are self-aware are often more miserable. Looking at the mirror, Chen Xiaosen had to admit that she was too ordinary: a slightly large forehead, thick pores on both sides of the nose, a bit of a square chin, only the eyes can be called a look, but it is far from Gupan Brilliance.
She hasn't dressed up specially for a long time, and she trembles when she touches the powder box. She tried to avoid the reason she had deliberately modified-every time she thought of this, she felt guilty in her heart.
Xu Zhian came to pick her up, his eyes lit up, and he kept complimenting her for her beauty.
Every time he praised, she felt sad.
When they took a taxi to Happy Valley, everyone else had already gathered at the door. She walked over from a distance and suddenly felt that she was awkward even in walking.
Today, apart from Chen Xiaosen and Xu Zhian, there are also the fifth and sixth in the same dormitory, their girlfriends, and Sheng Huainan.
Yesterday, when Xu Zhi'an's student ID was withdrawn by the teacher, she took a very careful look, and she could see clearly the small words "Sheng Huainan".
"When you are all there, go in quickly," Sheng Huainan greeted them with a smile, "Today there are many tourists, everyone should be careful not to get separated, please always surround my light bulb."
Everyone happily followed him towards the ticket gate. Xu Zhian took Chen Xiaosen's hand, and she broke loose slightly, like an instinct.
The sinful instinct.
Looking at the flowers all the way, her silence seemed not abrupt under the cover of the lively environment and lively companions. Xu Zhian just led her and didn't force her to participate in everyone's chat, but he said it very happily.
Chen Xiaosen occasionally looked up at Xu Zhian's excited look, feeling a little guilty compared to yesterday's silence and embarrassment.
He likes her. She made him sad.
From yesterday to now, Chen Xiaosen has never talked to Xu Zhian about the students in the same dormitory he saw yesterday, nor has he asked them who they are-the original road touring was a bit boring, this is an excellent topic, you can take it easy Let Xu Zhian introduce her one by one and talk about the things in the dormitory... But she didn't ask, she didn't inquire about it, even a single sentence.
She didn't want to do things with impure motives. The thought that Xu Zhian might try her best to introduce her in detail and make her happy with it, she felt guilty.
The fifth and sixth girlfriends all dressed up very fancy, setting off Chen Xiaosen very plain. Line up to buy tickets, enter the venue, and discuss which project to queue up first... Single Sheng Huainan plays the role of coordinator, but he does not feel arbitrarily, he is always the tone and attitude of discussion, but what he says will naturally let others I don't think I need to worry about it, just let him decide. The smiled expression was full of affinity, but only Chen Xiaosen found that he always stood at a certain distance from them, as if he were not in a group—or, everything around, the blazing sun, the bustling tourists, rockery, pool, floating The cheers and screams of the past...including the six of them, all became the background color of Sheng Huainan.
"Is the nympho?" she laughed at herself.
A clean, good-looking, and elegant boy in a white shirt.
However, there was a strong sense of presence in him, a sense of presence completely different from Chen Xiaosen's plain and lazy life, which made her unable to follow with full attention.
It’s not that she has never met handsome boys. When she was in college, she would be dragged by her roommates to the sports field or cafeteria to peek at the school grass of the Department of Finance and Accounting. Types: Gentle glasses department, Bingshan black belly department... But her lazy heart has never been shaken by the slightest; it is not that she has never encountered the busy and full-faced cadres in the student union who can point a group of people around. ...However, she never envied or admired.
If she aspires to be that kind of person, she would not be so willing to settle for mediocrity now.
However, at this moment, Chen Xiaosen knew that she was able to settle for the mediocrity of chaos only because the lure of light was not strong enough.
Be bewitched, just a moment is enough.
My eyes stuck, and then I went blind like this.
Looking back on that short morning after a long time, Chen Xiaosen always felt that those moments full of body but suppressed emotions-humble, envy, throbbing, joy, hopeless...like infinite power. She no longer felt that it was indifferent, but suddenly understood that the thirteen-point feelings and small movements that had appeared in her own roommate and were sneered in her heart as nasty idiots, turned out not to be really such idiots. Thirteen o'clock.
"That Sheng Huainan seems to be very atmospheric, and he likes to get ahead and organize."
She learned to play side by side.
"Huh? School grass? Stop making trouble, some of our school is better than him."
She also learned how to cover up.
After holding back for a long time, curiosity still drowned the conscience.
She asked Xu Zhi'an softly, occasionally mentioning a sentence or two of Sheng Huainan, sandwiched in the big gossip about the fifth, sixth and girlfriends, mixed with "the spaceship is so naive" "Hey, this project is very cute" Among them, the package was very safe and concealed, but when I asked, my throat was slightly astringent.
Knowing that she was dizzy and didn't want to ride a pirate ship, Xu Zhian insisted on staying below to accompany her, but she was finally pushed up.
"Only three minutes, don't need to accompany me, I have finally been in line for such a long time, hurry up!"
He smirked and sat in the chair amidst the laughter of "Look, my sister-in-law loves you too much". She turned back and exited, ran down the stairs, and stood there waiting.
When the electric bell rang, she turned around and saw Sheng Huainan standing with his hands in his pockets and his back against the railing of the artificial lake, with his head turned to the surface of the lake, looking at something blankly. She folded her hands in front of her, standing quietly five steps away, and finally could look at him blatantly.
Behind is the sound of the wind brought by the pirate ship, the girls screaming like waves of sea, the cheerful music from the radio, the chatting and laughing of pedestrians coming and going, intertwined into a noisy cloud of smoke. Everything is lively, only the two of them are static, and their hearts are two distinct worlds. Chen Xiaosen can even see the transparent wall.
Three minutes is very short and very long.
Just like she saw him, it was only two scenes short, but maybe the aftertaste will last a lifetime.
The gentle autumn wind messed up her forehead. Chen Xiaosen's heart was tender. The blazing sunlight refracted through the lake, showing a bright hopelessness under her eyes.
She will remember.
I remember how I was holding my boyfriend by hand, always ready to meet his boyfriend's gaze, making a happy smile, but trying to pretend to sit next to him unintentionally when riding in every ride.
I remember that she talked a lot of nonsense all morning. It seems that the sum of the things she said in a year with Xu Zhian was not so much. In fact, it was only to covertly mix two questions about him.
I remember that she was motionless for three minutes, and the strong and turbulent emotions turned into a quiet gaze, which stretched into a sense of self-existence that no longer sees the light and disappears.
Remember, that's enough. Following his example, she put her hands in her pockets, leaned on the railing in a corner far away from him, and looked straight at the dazzling water until her vision became blurred.
At noon, they went to the "Ant Kingdom" restaurant to find a seat. She picked up the phone calls from her mother and sister outside, and signaled Xu Zhian to go in first without waiting for her.
Her mother is extremely supportive of her daughter's love-a high school classmate, knows the roots, is a talented student, and is simple and honest... Although she still has a lot of self-protection instructions, she can still hear the joy in her words. .
Chen Xiaosen smiled bitterly, turning back one after another, touching the corners of his mouth. When the call reached her sister, she no longer reluctantly responded.
"What's the matter?" My sister felt her strange.
"Sister, if... If you find a blind date, everything is suitable and you are ready to get married, but this time, this time..."
"what happened?"
"At this time, the "Sendō Akira" that you liked from junior high school to the present suddenly appeared in your life, and then wanted to take you to elope, would you..."
"Haha," the sister over the phone smiled clearly, "you are thinking about it again, what can I do?"
"Will it... Will it..."
"I will."
"Ok?"
My sister's voice is soft and firm: "I will lift the skirt corners of the wedding dress, throw off the high heels, and run away with "Sendō Akira" without looking back."
Never looking back.
Chen Xiaosen's heart suddenly became clear.
"Have you met'Sendō Akira"?" My sister's voice was a little teasing.
"Yeah." She nodded without hesitation.
"Xiaosen, I didn't say something just now...
"I know. It's just if. In fact, you have waited for so many years, and there is no'Xiandao Akira' to elope with you.
"It's not that there is no'Xian Dao Zhang' in the world, but he will not take me to elope, so I will still obediently go on blind date and marry."
"But I am different." Chen Xiaosen suddenly realized that this was the first time. She said loudly that she was different.
The point is not whether "Sendō Akira" will drag you to elope at the wedding.
The point is that Chen Xiaosen found that the person who wants to marry you, no matter how good he is, even if you cherish good fortune, once faced with an imaginary "Xiandao Akira", he will still firmly choose to get rid of his high heels and follow this if he is in. Xiang Yuanfang-then, no matter if this will become a reality or not, she will bring up the wedding dress and stride out of the wedding scene surrounded by blessings.
Never look back.
She hung up the phone and walked into the restaurant. The few people had finished eating, and Sheng Huainan was not there.
They joked that Sheng Huainan dropped the six of them and led the beauty and the child away.
Chen Xiaosen also smiled.
Smiling and saying goodbye to everyone at dusk.
Smiling and telling Xu Zhian "I'm sorry."
Smiling on the returning train.
When it drove into deep sleep and night again, Chen Xiaosen piled himself up in a comfortable position with his jacket, leaned his head on the glass, and gradually fell asleep.
The boy got up from the bed, looking confused. His appearance and disappearance were equally sudden, without saying goodbye, so short that Chen Xiaosen could not remember his outstanding eyebrows now.
He only said one thing to her, he said: "Hello."
Like a swift light, shaking her eyes.
Then he saw the path under his feet clearly.
How can she explain to others, she is not in love with another person.
However, I discovered by accident that the feeling of bringing up the wedding dress and running barefoot against the sun is so good.
She will keep running.