Chapter 11:
-
What Do I Want to Do with This Magnificent Beauty?
- 拉棉花糖的兔子
- 3400 characters
- 2021-02-27 05:39:04
Chosen Concubine? Not to mention, this description is cheap, but it is a bit like it.
In particular, this statement comes from Zhang Yue's mouth, which makes people capture a lot of emotions, which is obviously revenge.
[Ha ha ha ha ha, this is an appointment, Zhang Yue: finally it ’s my turn]
[Don't talk about it, don't talk about it, wouldn't it be embarrassing for the guests to be matched at that time? 】
[I laugh to death, Zhang Yue's mouth is owed enough, but this seems to be fine, Zhendi is like choosing a concubine. 】
[How can I look forward to it more, who will enter the Nakamiya in the end]
...
"Lao Zhang, how do you arrange for others on Weibo?" Xiao Xiaowei, a drummer from Guanshan Band, poked his head over. "The songs are not edited, how much do you hate?"
As soon as bassist Xie Qing heard it, he said, "Who arranged it, isn't it Jesse?"
Zhang Yueyin said with a grimace: "Did you hate me so much? Would you like me to find a video to see how happy you were at the time?"
Xiao Xiaowei: "Don't blame me, hahahahahahahaha. It's so funny. I want to laugh again, hahahahahahahahaha!"
Zhang Yue: "..."
The three of them, together with guitarist Zhou Dong, were roommates in a dormitory of the Conservatory of Music, and then another group debuted, and they usually became accustomed to each other. In particular, I have the opportunity to laugh at Zhang Yue, then we must spare no effort.
After a while, Xie Qing also found Zhang Yuefa's Weibo and kept saying, "Although there are only a few figures, he completely reveals Lao Zhang's indignation, resentment, vent ..."
His passionate feelings were interrupted by the guitarist and agent.
Zhou Dong and their agent walked in while talking, "Well, look at Zhang Yue and don't agree."
The agent sneered, "Why, if the person he scolds is in, he won't go to the show. How many shows in the country can he get on?"
Everyone: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!"
Zhang Yuehun didn't care, and asked, "What show?"
They're still at the tail of the new album's promotional period, brushing their faces everywhere on the show.
The agent said: "Considering that everyone worked hard some time ago, I got you a slower program," Return to Garden and Garden ", do you know? Xia Yiwei's son is also here, and you have a group, Zhang Yue, You will have a room with him on a trip. "
Zhang Yue: "……………………"
Suddenly, the world is silent.
Xiao Xiaowei and Xie Qing chatted for a full three seconds, and then burst into a wild laugh, almost lifted the roof of the practice room.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha make you owe!
The agent and Zhou Dong were confused, wouldn't they?
Like the agent said, Zhang Yue has offended more people. As for laughing so much?
Xiao Xiaowei struggled and said, "Go and watch his Weibo ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
The two looked at each other and opened Zhang Yue's Weibo.
To be honest, the agent rarely looks at Zhang Yue's Weibo, and every time she sees her blood pressure rises, she can't stand it. But after reading this time, she laughed directly and fell to her knees.
Zhang Yue looked at the people who were smiling awryly, and was furious, and stood up and said, "I won't go! I don't agree!"
The other three band members unison: "I agree!"
Zhang Yue: "..."
The agent wiped the tears from his laughter, "I've talked almost all the same. Well, I'll get you the equipment you want. I don't care how you owe me. But I let you go on the show, You too. It's all for publicity. "
Zhang Yue's face was all green.
The agent was firm and soft, and changed his tone to persuade him: "The strawberry terrace's mouth is not strict. If this is passed on, what do you think of others, you are afraid of Jesse, and dare not be in the same frame with him?"
"You don't steal the concept ..." Zhang Yue hated his teeth, but still compromised, "I'll go!"
I go. There is a pun.
...
After Qi Shejiang, "Guyuanyuanju" also exposed the participating guests, including the Guanshan Band.
[Again, who? ? ? 】
[I laughed, and brought Zhang Yue! The show team did a great job! 】
[Is Zhang Yue threatened by the agent with the knife again? He said that Qi Shejiang was choosing his concubine a few days ago]
[Yes, yes, I thought of him at once, why did the face come so fast? Will Zhang Yue dare to marry Qijiang in the future? 】
[So is Qi Shejiang Zhang Jiexing? Come down to cheer everyone on? 】
[Emmmm Qi Shejiang and Zhang Yue are not in the same group, I chopped my head to serve you as a strawberry]
[Zhang Yue: I scold myself]
[Warm congratulations to Zhang Yue, the lead singer of Guanshan Band, the selection of Queping! 】
[Hi Zhang Fei]
[Zhang Fei, black face all day. 】
On the day of the recording of "Return to the Garden and Home," Li Jing's assistant sent Qi Shejiang over, and he was free. Xia Yiwei's tour concert continued, and they were all busy.
I think this is not the first time Qi Shejiang has recorded a variety show.
Of course, for Qi Shejiang, who has no practical experience, fortunately, before the recording, he also had a meeting with the program group. He could not understand it.
From the time of departure, there are cameras to take pictures. Qi Shejiang already knows other guests who participated in the recording. In addition to him and the Guanshan band, there are six passers-by who will regroup into three groups of four groups living in different houses in the same village.
In principle, a trip of five days will be cut into three periods.
After arriving in the village where they will live for the next five days, they will first go to the village chief's house, draw lots under the auspices of the director, choose the place where they will live, and the companions who will live together.
Qi Shejiang had previously been hinted by Li Jing that, in all likelihood, Guanshan band, so he was not surprised when he saw the results.
The other groups are men and women, responsible for the production of pink, friends, long lived friendship ... their group, it is estimated that the path of the enemy is narrow.
After selecting the candidates, the director asked: "Do you have any feelings about the companions who will live in the future?"
Qi Shejiang teased, "If the room is not enough, can you not let Zhang Yue come to sleep?"
Director: "Oh."
The joke is so big, can Qi Shejiang still not know? Li Jing laughed and told him. Even he thought Zhang Yue was miserable.
The director thought he was really satisfied with this answer, otherwise they asked these two groups to do it. The lottery is a cinematic, and even the audience knows that the show has a Taiwanese version.
The Guanshan band have not yet come. Qi Shejiang went to the place where they were going to live first. He felt that the place was fine. It was a green brick house. I heard that some guests had to live in a tree house.
The inhabitants of this village are scattered in the shape of a crescent. Qi Shejiang's residence is at the corner, surrounded by fields. Take a look inside the house. Anyway, as far as Shejiang is concerned, the facilities are very good, there is water and electricity, there is firewood and a pot.
Is that there are fewer beds, only two beds, it is estimated that someone has to sleep on the sofa,
The place is actually not dirty, but Qi Shejiang remembers Li Jing ’s instructions that he must clean up again in order to be more diligent. In the view of the director and photographer, there is another layer of meaning: In the end, the child is not very satisfied with the environment. He doesn't feel clean enough and cleans it up by himself.
After Qi Shejiang cleaned up, he slept on the table and took a nap.
The sun outside came in and shone on his face, his eyelashes cast a long shadow, and fine dust floated in the air. The photographer quickly took the opportunity to take a look at his sleeping face from all angles.
At this time, a loud noise came from outside the house, Qi Shejiang woke up and got up from the table. It happened that the four members of Guanshan Band stepped forward and faced up.
There was a moment of silence.
Xiao Xiaowei spoke first, breaking the embarrassment, "hello, you are here first."
Qi Shejiang also smiled back, "Hello. Be early."
Zhou Dong and Xie Qing both got together with Qi She Jiang Han, but Zhang Yue didn't say a word, stepped on his long legs, and sat on the sofa.
This sofa is not new, it wasn't very generous at first, and he was sitting as if it were suddenly shorter.
Qi Shejiang slowly said, "That, this sofa ..."
Zhang Yue, who had been silent, suddenly raised her head very sensitively, "What?"
Qi Shejiang was innocent: "I just want to tell you that there are two beds and a sofa. Some people may have to sleep on the sofa. You all have a combination, and you share the same bed. Let me sleep on the sofa."
Zhang Yue: "..."
Zhang Yue shouted, "... No, I sleep here."
Qi Shejiang said in surprise: "You are so tall, can you sleep?"
"Of course you ca n’t sleep, you ’re welcome to Zhang. Do n’t bother, I am the shortest, I sleep here." As soon as Zhou Dong pushed Zhang Yue away, he started to push the sofa to the wall to "make a bed". .
When it matters, their brothers are reliable.
Zhang Yuegang was about to speak, Xiao Xiaowei and Xie Qing jumped up and hugged each other tightly, face to face and said in unison: "Let's sleep together!"
Zhang Yue: "………………"
...
Probably from the show crew to the team members, they were determined to make Zhang Yue choose the concubine successfully and realize his flag ...
Zhang Yue stinked to pack his luggage, and then he would sleep with Qi Shejiang on a bed for five days.
By the time he went out, Qi Shejiang had already chatted with Xiao Xiaowei.
In fact, everyone did n’t have deep hatred, right to be an entertainment audience, there is no need to take it seriously, let alone cooperate now.
Besides, when contacting Qi Shejiang himself, this person thinks that others are very good. They are not like those who hold revenge-Zhang Yuexian first picked things. I don't know how such a person would almost work with Zhang Yue.
At this time it was close to noon. Zhou Dong and Xiao Xiaowei would cook. Of course, it was very simple. They had already prepared for the next kitchen work. What surprised them was that although Qi Shejiang could not cook, the fire was very good.
This is really important.
This is an old-fashioned cooktop. They said they would n’t use it. An old man came in with his hands on his back and told them how to do it with a strong dialect accent. He heard them confused, confused, but Qi She Jiang really started the fire.
At the beginning, they didn't think what was going on. After the meals were done, the guests from other groups walked over and said that when they saw their cooking smoke, they would start a fire.
Now I know that the other groups have been tossing for a long time, failing most of them, making them extremely embarrassed.
"I depend, buddy, you are a fire wizard." The guests of the other groups were all excited. "You must come to help me. I know your mother. You have to call me an uncle."
Between words, the generation changes instantly.
The cheap nephew of Qi Shejiang had no choice but to give fire to his life. The group also had superb cooking skills, so he returned with a dish of dishes.
There was two of them, one at noon. Qi Shejiang gave life to fire everywhere, and all the food was in a hurry.
Qi Shejiang thought to himself, if he used a modern stove here, he would be completely blind.
However, the earthen stove is used instead, so that now he is a wizard who has never been able to burn water except fire.
...
In the afternoon, it's time to work.
Several fields should be harvested in autumn before and after this house. Several people stood on the edge of the field, and Zhou Dong asked with his arms folded, "What are we going to do now? Do you know farm work?"
After a few seconds of mysterious silence, an unexpected person spoke again. Qi Shejiang said: "I checked the information beforehand. Let's divide the work first, cut the grass first, and use a sickle to cut them down. The strength is not strong. Go to cut the grass. Beat the grass with more strength and carry the bucket—hey, you need to find out the bucket to beat the grain. "
"It sounds a bit tired," Zhou Dong muttered.
Qi Shejiang thought about it: "Well, a handful of rice grass weighs at least 20 or 30 pounds, and all the spikelets must be cleaned. The interval between each beating must be even and rhythmic ..."
The people of Guanshan Band heard that he had checked the information, and they were determined. They thought he took the information of the show group they took from their mother-in-law relationship, and thought that they were so hardcore, they all weighed their strength.
The director's face is all white. What's the matter with this? Qi She Jiang Cha's fear is not the data from 50 years ago? !!
To put it meticulously, the problem is that although it is a country here, there is an electric threshing machine from the moment of electricity.
Really let these few people have a manual autumn harvest facing the loess back to the sky from morning to night. It will be this job in five days, don't think of doing anything else. What's their show called "Return to the Garden", and it's renamed "I Love Farming".
The director quickly mirrored and said, "Everyone, in fact, you can borrow agricultural machines, such as pedal-type threshing machines, electric ones, and integrated combine harvesters. Even packing is saved. But different grades There are also different prices for the rental of agricultural machinery. "
The four members of Guanshan Band made a sound, thinking that this is the variety rhythm they are familiar with ...
There is no money. I have turned it over to the show crew. Looking at each other, the routine is nothing more than those. Regardless of whether he earns, trades, credits, or borrows, the guest can fly with confidence.
So a group of five people went to find out where to borrow agricultural machinery.
Finally, under the guidance of the villagers, I went to the old man who designated them to make a fire.
When they saw this, they mourned. The old man spoke with an accent just now, and it was hard to communicate at all.
"Uncle, we'll borrow it for three days! I'll sell it back and give it back to you!" Zhang Yue said in a loud voice, almost jumping out word by word, afraid the old man could not hear you.
The old man looked unhappy and was arranged at a glance. He said, "My TV is broken."
Everyone looked at each other, what did it mean, what was broken?
Qi Shejiang translated: "The TV is broken."
Zhang Yue immediately said, "Who will fix TV?"
Who can do this.
Zhou Dong hippie smiled and said, "Uncle, we often go to TV, we can sing for you, just wait for other guests to come and let them show you."
Speaking to Zhang Yue, she had to sing, "You sing louder."
The old man thought for a while and thought that the sale was OK, "Well a suona."
Musical instrument?
Zhang Yuechong's teammates sneered: "Please, speak louder."
Three: "..."
They are responsible for musical instruments, but how can folk music!
Xiao Xiaowei suddenly thought, "Hey, Jesse, don't you know how to play Sanxian, Suona is also a traditional instrument, is this actually your part?"
What is the reason, Qi Shejiang will be Sanxian, and that is not close to Suona. Jinghu knows a little about it.
But Qi Shejiang was not impatient, and he sat down and talked to the old man in dialect: "Suona won't do it. Would you like to sing" Trial of the Young Sheep? "
Grandpa's hazy eyes lit up, "Will you sing this? No one has been singing for many years!"
Others, including the photographer, were shocked. I never expected that Qi Shejiang was wearing a mixed face and could speak in tongues. Before they understood, it made them feel terrible. It turned out to be so?
Think back carefully, is it possible that Xia Yiwei's husband is here?
Others didn't know that Guangxi was surprised to go to the Qi Shejiang Dialect. Unlike the old man, he was still surprised by the track.
The "Qing Qing Yang" originally was a local folk song with a history of over a hundred years. It originated in a certain county in the province. It was later sung to the capital, and the tune used was Tianjin. But it does n’t belong to the famous one, of course, no one sings now.
The old man always listened to the opera singers who sang in the countryside. Later, there was no such activity, and the elderly did not search the Internet, and they never heard it again.
Now Qi Shejiang said that he wanted to sing. He was surprised and confused in his heart.
Rap and sing, Qi Shejiang casually knocked on the table while holding something, and sang, "There was an incident in Fuzhou City, and the county grandfather sat to interrogate Qingyang. Interrogation about what happened to Qingyang. Liu Jianv, Li Jialang, the two got married. Unpaired, Yang's life to see the king of the king. There are four rooms in the east of the city, there is a carpenter named Li Xiang, a seventeen-year-old child born in heaven, full of court. He read articles in the south, and befriended the children. Liu's girl ... "
There are many songs in Tianjin tune. In addition to "Trial of Green Sheep", there are "Sage Adviser", "Jin Zhong Ji", "Gao Lanxiang Returning the Soul", etc. "Trial of Green Sheep" sings the current news with a small song, and the entire length is very long. There are sixty-one drops in the whole article, and one drop is a short bar. To finish singing, it took half an hour, Qi Shejiang picked up the clips and sang for seven or eight minutes.
Taking care of the grandfather, Qi Shejiang deliberately used the skills of Peking Opera to raise the tune door, and he was exquisite and euphemistic, clear and not floating, which caused it to even blur the meaning of gender characteristics.
The old man listened to his heart, admired his head side by side, and when Qi Shejiang was over, he gave a few slaps of strength, and stood up and said, "That's the taste! The boy sings well, it's so good!"
He was so excited that he took the key out, "Here you are, this harvester!"
Follow the director: "... Uncle, no, you can only borrow the pedal type, the harvester cannot borrow it at will, and the asking price is higher."
Grandpa: "I borrowed it myself! My son has it! Don't have money!"
director:"……"
Everyone else looked at the director and said, "Hey, this is the uncle who wants to borrow us, and you haven't stipulated, the uncle who conquered by his ability!"
After an argument, they were silent with the director of the mirror. At all, they had to let them take the key away.
Coming out of the grandfather's house, Zhou Dong asked everyone's questions: "How come you say this, isn't it actually your hometown?"
With a smile, Qi Shejiang also learned Zhou Dong's hometown dialect. Zhou Dong's accent is not heavy, but he can tell who he is. He is speaking in the dialect of Zhou Dong's hometown. "I am from Beijing."
Zhou Dong's eyes widened. "You will do this too? Quite honestly!"
Qi Shejiang said calmly: "Our cross talk artist, said to learn to sing four lessons, including local dialects, this is called" inverted mouth ", by changing the accent, can better shape the character. Not only here, like Local dialects such as Tianjin, Ji, and Jin must be learned. "
Everyone: "Again, what are you guys?"
Qi Shejiang didn't think he was wrong. He looked at him blankly, "We are comic artists."
Everyone: "……………… 噗."
Who said Qi Shejiang has no sense of variety, isn't this humorous!