This was just like that night in the snow.
She remembered the blood in the snow — her blood.
Kail continued to stare at Silje as he held the knife and placed it on his wrist. He then grabbed Silje’s hand and placed it on the knife.
Now, hold it like this. Push on it, just like this.
Silje froze as Kail moved her hand to slice his own wrist.
It was a smooth deep cut and Silje just gawked in shock. The world stopped around them as the red blood pooled around the cut.
One second, two seconds.
Blood.
Silje’s mind went blank for a second before she remembered the pool of red blood in the snow that night.
Kail’s blood was red too.
Kail’s blood color was red too.
He bled, just like her.
Kail smiled.
Now, it’s truly over.
With that, Kail untied Silje. He looked like he was finally happy. He was bleeding profusely, but he calmly cut her rope to release her.
Be careful!
Silje was still in so much shock that when she was freed, she lost her balance. Kail gasped as she started to fall and by the time she returned to her senses, it was too late.
Blinking slowly, she thought to herself, ‘Oh, I’m going to fall to the floor.’
As she felt her body falling closer to the floor, Silje closed her eyes.
Strangely enough, she didn’t hit the hard surface. She should’ve felt her whole body hurting, but it didn’t happen. Still tense, Silje opened one of her eyes.
Could it be…
She opened the other eye in disbelief. To her shock, Kail was underneath her. He must’ve thrown himself on the floor to save her.
It was just like the first time they met when she jumped from the building.
Silje didn’t know what to do.
She couldn’t believe that he threw himself underneath to save her. This fact made her feel uncomfortable, but not unhappy or troubled. It was a strange feeling, and her heart was throbbing.
Kail…
She was going to tell him to let her go, but she didn’t finish her sentence.
Suddenly, their eyes met and Silje’s heart fell. The way he looked at her was… devastating. He was looking at her like he would die for her.
How could he look at her like that? How could anyone?
Silje, you are a strange girl,
Kail said to her hoarsely and caressed her hair. And then, to her shock, he held her face with both of his hands and kissed her.
A quick kiss.
Then a hug.
He hugged her like he was never going to let go.
Silje froze; she couldn’t say anything.
Kail murmured in a raspy voice,
You fell from the sky into my arms and stole my heart. I used to feel nothing and saw everyone like dirt, but all of a sudden, I had to admit my feelings for you. Isn’t it strange? When you cry, my heart hurts and when you are in pain, my heart feels like it’s burning. I am in constant pain. Is this love? Because if it is, I don’t want it. I give up. It is too painful and shameful. I will go back to being myself before I met you.
Even as he said this, he was still staring at her like he wanted her with all his heart. He drank in every bit of her.
They both stopped breathing. In this moment, Kail’s confession made her world stop. She couldn’t see or hear anything other than Kail. Silje just stared at him and listened.
After a long silence, Kail smiled and let her go. He stood up and turned away as he spit out his words roughly.
So get lost. Get out of my sight. I don’t want to ever see you again.
Staggering, Silje stood up. Every bone in her body felt sore and her head was throbbing. Holding her head with her hand, she looked at him. Unlike his cold words, he was gasping for breath as he continued to walk away from her.
Drop, drop.
With his every step, a drop of blood fell to the floor and its bright color shocked her.
Watching him walk away alone, Silje’s heart felt empty. She blinked a few times and tried to shake off the strange feeling.
Slam.
The door closed loudly behind him.
He was gone.
And silence fell as if nothing happened. Except for the blood on the floor, there was no trace of him anymore.
Staring at the redness, Silje collapsed to the floor. She covered her red face with her hands.
It was finally over.
She got what she wanted. She was never going to have to see Kail again, but… Silje wondered why her heart was aching so badly.
As if nothing happened, the sun rose again the next morning.
Her alarm rang and she woke up to see her room window frosted. She got off the bed and got ready for school.
Olga was busy in the kitchen preparing breakfast. After reading his newspaper, Frank was going to go to work and after eating his breakfast, Valter would also leave for school.
And just like them, Silje acted normally because it was her duty.
…
The breakfast table was silent. No one said a word, and Silje followed suit as she ate her breakfast.
Her family didn’t like her talking much at home.
In the past, Silje used to share what happened to her at school, and they didn’t want to hear about it. Their hearts were sealed off to her, but Silje still felt thankful. At least her adoptive parents didn’t disown her.
In this wintery country, this was the only family she had.
Eating her warm soup, Silje thought to herself.
‘I was abandoned as a newborn and the only people I know are from this cold country, not those with black hair and eyes just like me. I should be thankful that I was fed well and kept warm.’
Even as a young girl, Silje learned to be thankful for anything her family did for her. She was thankful that she had a family at all, and even if they were cold to her, she didn’t feel resentful. She sincerely appreciated the fact that they didn’t abandon her like her birth parents.
I’m going to school,
she said quietly before leaving the house.
From afar, she saw the yellow school bus coming.
Just then!
Meow!
A black cat ran towards her.
It was very cold and Silje wondered where it came from.
She locked eyes with the cat, which studied Silje quietly. After a few seconds, it growled at her loudly before running away.
Silje stared at it for a long time. It was an unusual-looking cat and she didn’t see its owner anywhere. Was it a stray? It looked lonely and alone, just like her.
The school bus arrived quickly and Silje boarded it.
Another day of battle.
She entered her classroom like she was going to war.
Like a warrior, she walked confidently and thought to herself.
‘I will be free on graduation day. Until then, I have to fight alone.’
