It was hopeless.
After ten minutes of walking, she knew Kail was telling the truth. Endless empty fields with no one to help her. Just snow and cold. She realized that she wasn’t going to be able to reach her school by the end of the day.
It was too cold. Her body was already frozen, and the sharp wind felt like knives cutting into her skin.
But her pride wouldn’t let her give up. She would rather die walking in the cold than hope for the cruel king to come back and save her.
She looked at the beautiful snow falling. No one was going to care if she disappeared, and Silje couldn’t help but feel devastated.
‘Why did I have to be dragged all the way out here? Why do I have to walk in this cold snowy night? What did I do that was so wrong? Just because I’m Asian… It’s not fair, but I can’t let this get to me. I will have to hitchhike. That will be the only way for me to survive this.’
Silje convinced herself to think positively.
It took her a very long time to come to this point where she could think this way. All the days and nights of crying… There were so many times she dreamt of quitting school and running away from home.
Then, something happened.
Kana died.
Kana Warang. She was from Thailand and was also adopted just like Silje. They lived in the same neighborhood and Kana was two years older than her. She was a quiet girl and she ended up committing suicide after years of bullying. She couldn’t take it anymore.
Kana’s death was a huge shock to Silje because their situations were so similar. Afterward, Silje realized that she couldn’t go down the same path. So she decided to fight back.
It wasn’t that Silje didn’t understand Kana’s decision. In fact, Silje knew it better than anyone else.
However, she couldn’t give up. She wasn’t going to choose death.
At the time, Silje decided that she was going to live for herself as well as for Kana. She wasn’t going to run away from her situation. She knew she would fall and be hurt by her tormentors, but Silje was determined to fight.
After Kana’s death, Silje stopped crying.
She would not lose this fight. This was the life she was given, and she was going to fight till the end.
Cuts and bruises will fade but if she surrendered to them, the shame will be with her forever. She couldn’t live with that. It was better to die fighting even if she now had to fight against the most feared person at school.
The cruel king.
Her determination didn’t waver. As she watched the snow falling, there was determination in her eyes. She was like bamboo. While bamboo looked fragile, it was surprisingly difficult to break it.
She was in pain but Silje didn’t stop walking.
The wind continued to blow, and the snow wouldn’t stop. At the very least, it wasn’t a full snowstorm.
Silje took a deep breath. She was still walking, but her arms and legs were now beginning to feel stiff.
‘It’s so cold. I think my feet are freezing, but I know I can’t stop. If I stop now, I will never be able to get back up. Let’s at least try to get to the top of that hill.’
She tried to set a realistic goal to help herself feel better.
Had it been minutes? Hours? She couldn’t tell. All she could do was continue to walk.
Her body felt like it was becoming an ice statue. Her arms and legs felt like they were breaking piece by piece. They were numb and in pain at the same time.
‘How far have I gone? It’s snowing so much that I can’t tell, but I can’t stop now. I need to keep walking.’
She couldn’t think clearly anymore. All she knew for now was that she had to walk. Her body instinctively continued to move.
The wind fiercely blew against her again.
How long had it been? Then, out of blue, a bright light was shined from behind and her world became visible again. There was the squeak of the tires, indicating that a car had stopped behind her.
What is that?
She at first couldn’t tell if this was really happening or if she was hallucinating. Then, she saw the car with the tinted windows.
She froze.
It was Kail’s car! Oh no!
She had to run. She had to escape.
A warning bell rang loudly in her head, but her body wouldn’t move. She was frozen on the spot.
The car door opened and a familiar figure in a black fur coat walked out.
Oh no.
Silje’s eyes blurred for a second from the coldness, but she could still see the dark figure coming towards her. Intuitively, she backed up a step.
If he was here, did it mean that he had been driving around this area the whole time? Was all of her effort for nothing?
Silje chewed her lips.
Just then, Kail, who had been staring at her silently, suddenly grabbed her hair.
Her heart beat was very fast and loud.
Kail continued to look at her as he said,
Your body is frozen.
His gaze was intense as he sneered,
I’m impressed. You walked all the way here.
Silje wanted retort back with a smart response, but her teeth chattered in the cold. Kail continued,
What an idiot you are.
He looked at her with disgust before pushing her away. Silje lost her balance and fell into the snow.
Hahaha!
Kail’s gang laughed at her sorry state.
Look at how stupid she looks.
Dark sky and cold air.
Silje glared at Kail’s posse as the cold wind stabbed her. She wanted to kill them all. Her hatred for them was growing. She desperately wanted to get back up and fight them all, but her body wouldn’t listen.
Suddenly, Silje saw white cigarette smoke.
It was Kail. With his dark hair blowing in the wind and his black fur coat, he looked like the grim reaper.
Kail was leaning against the tree as he smoked. He looked so relaxed that Silje felt overwhelming fury.
He seemed unconcerned as he continued to stare at her and Silje didn’t look away. This was war.
This lasted for a while and Kail didn’t move a muscle as he looked at her like he wanted to swallow her whole. If she didn’t know better, Silje would’ve thought that he might be interested in her. Perhaps other girls would mistake his intense stare for romantic feelings.
But Silje knew better. What she saw in his eyes were anger and madness.
He wanted to hurt her. His body gave out an unmistakably dangerous aura. Without a word, he was telling the world that anyone who displeased him would meet his vehemence.
Peppery smoke tickled her nose. It looked like Kail was smoking in the direction of the wind, so the smoke hit Silje’s face. Her eyes burned, making them red.
She glared at him as he smiled and added slowly,
How senseless are you? It would’ve been better for you to just stay where I left you. If you did, I would’ve let you off easy, but now that you’ve done this, it’s too late for you.
