Chapter 42: Still gloomy

(No.204—No.209)
No.204
I usually sleep until ten o'clock in the morning on Saturdays, but today I deliberately set the alarm clock to 7:30 in the morning.
Yu Huai's exam was held at the Provincial Admissions Office at 8:30. I guess he should be in the exam room at 7:30. If it is too early, I am afraid that he will not get up, and if it is too late, I am afraid that he has shut down and entered the exam room.
I yawned, half-closed my eyes and sent a text message:
"Come on, I believe you."
I was about to fall asleep, my phone buzzed twice.
Two new pieces of information, the first one is: "With your heart, Xiaoye must do well in the exam."
The second is: "I didn't take a bath."
I stared at the second article blankly for a long time before I realized what he meant.
I withdrew my head into the warm blanket, grinned uncontrollably, and fell asleep with a smirk.
No.205
While waiting for my mother, my brain is always running at high speed.
Since she called in the morning and said that she was driving to pick me up at around two o'clock in the afternoon, I was in anxiety. If I didn’t have the inexplicable thoughts that happened a few days ago, I can tell my mother very frankly that I want to buy clothes, light-weight thermal underwear, moisturizer and high-grade face cream, and it’s very unlikely for her. Both approval and the most likely rebuke remain calm.
Anyway, I'm afraid she is not a day or two, she is always fierce to me, I am used to it.
But this time I can't. I have a guilty conscience. I am the kind of bag that has been in jail for thirty years before robbing the bank.
I started to spin around like a headless fly.
His eyes fell on the pencil sharpener on the table inadvertently.
To be precise, it was a pencil sharpener.
This thing is the kind that I was very greedy when I was in elementary school. It is boxy and needs extra tools to be fixed on the edge of the table. The pencil is inserted from one end, and one hand shakes the handle on the other end to sharpen all the pencils. A sense of nobility. God knows how envious I was at the time. After listening to my classmates show "this is brought back from Japan", I can't wait to put my fingers in it, and then shake the handle to stir.
But my mother didn't buy it for me. My mother said, I don't want to study hard all day long. I just think of useless things there. Can the pen sharpener be able to sharpen the pencil?
So when I was in the second grade, I had pocket money. When I saw the same pencil sharpener in the stationery store, I immediately bought it with tears in my eyes.
But I don't need a pencil for a long time.
Shouldn't she make up for me? Requests are always not treated positively, and self-confidence cannot be built through appearance, which will make me live and useless! As an independent woman who is so arrogant and unique, she actually allowed her daughter to develop such a conscientious character. Isn't it worth reflecting on it?
but……
But if she said that people's self-confidence comes from the connotation, if you want to have confidence, you must first have results. Where can you find a fair lady? It is better to be beautiful than to have a good exam... How should I fight back?
I hugged my head and fell on the bed in pain.
Ooh, oh, you are so useless! Your mother's life should have been more brilliant, how could her daughter be you!
……what?
I suddenly felt that I had found a silver lining.
As soon as I sat in the co-pilot seat, my mother's brows became knotted.
"What time did you get up? Why don't you comb your head or wash your face? How do you wear these clothes, awkwardly, put my shirt into my pants!"
I resisted the gushing joy in my heart, pretended to be innocent, pulled down the small mirror above the co-pilot, and took a picture ignorantly.
"It's pretty good, I usually wear this for school."
Then I turned my head to look at her, with tears in my eyes half true and half acting.
"Mom, I miss you so much."
My mother's eyes were red in an instant.
The car drove to the first department store in the city.
Yes!
No.206
My mother first took me to a Brazilian barbecue, and then accompanied me to go shopping under the guidance of a few words.
I certainly didn't say that I wanted to buy clothes. It’s just that I want to talk to her while walking, and it’s been a long time since I talked to my mother. Many interesting things have happened in our class.
Where else can I go in the department store? Where to go is not a shop hahaha.
My mother actually took me to Levi’s to buy jeans. Before I walked in, I was still pretending to be twenty-four filial piety. I kept saying that I didn't want such expensive clothes. My mother stared at me for several times before reluctantly walked in.
Tactic two came into play at this time. Yes, I am wearing school uniform pants today, the loosest and fattest sports model, just to fit two thin and one thick long trousers smoothly inside.
I don’t think I can wear Levi’s men’s models.
"Why do you wear so many long trousers?" My mother followed me into the fitting room.
"I'm cold," I continued to pretend to be innocent, "how cold these two days are. Nothing will keep you warm when you wear it alone."
"Then you don't have to wear so much," my mother complained distressedly. "Hurry up and try again."
"But if I take it off and try again, I still can't wear it after I buy it back."
"Why don't you need to wear so much, I'll take you to buy two thin ones. In previous years, you have not been so afraid of the cold. Are you sick?"
Buy two thin ones, buy two thin ones, buy two thin ones...
She touched my forehead and after making sure that I did not have a fever, she sighed and began to help me pull the long trousers down.
So I now have new down jackets, new hoodies, new jeans, new shirts, new sweaters, new Martin boots...
I have repeatedly denied that my dad and stepmother practiced utterly conscientious indifference and abuse to me, which my mother deeply doubts now. But generally speaking, my wimps and pitiful behavior successfully aroused my mother's deep inner heart that "my mother's daughter can't be worse than others in any way" compelling, she wished to wear the whole shopping mall on me.
You say, what is unsatisfying in life?
No.207
Miraculously speaking, the urge and joy to buy things quickly ebbed as I ran upstairs with a bunch of shopping bags.
I went back to my room and closed the door, sat on the floor and cut off the labels of all the new clothes. It took me twenty minutes to try them on again.
After looking in the mirror for a long time, I must admit that the person in the mirror is still grudges. Only I can see a little difference, but in the eyes of others there shouldn't be any difference.
It’s not a problem with clothes, I know.
How can we get better? Because I am envious of the Chinese class, Xiaoxiao quoted famous quotes from books that I had never heard before, so I went to read all the books she read? Because Ling Xiangqian's skateboard pants are loose and beautiful, she hurriedly took off her long pants and put on a thin Antarctic?
At that moment, I felt like the small apples that were supposed to be sold at the fruit shop were accidentally placed in a pile of five and eighty kilograms of apples. At first, I felt like I had an identity — then, When I find that a customer comes to buy something, he will reach out and pull it aside first.
The five-dollar Yu Huai once said to the three-dollar Geng, you will get used to it sooner or later.
I also thought I was used to it. I didn't expect that the depression would repeat from time to time, and would put on different disguise, sometimes even in the face of hope.
For example, I still want to be better.
No.208
When I saw Yu Huai again during the flag-raising ceremony on Monday morning, he had already recovered his vitality.
"It looks like you did a good job?" I asked as I walked forward with the team.
"It's okay, ah, I'm sorry," Yu Huai said in a high tone, and stepped on the heel of the classmate in front of him inadvertently, "Sure enough, there is no question about electromagnetics."
I smiled: "That's great."
"I'll invite you to dinner."
"Huh?" I didn't hear clearly. His words were completely overwhelmed by the "Zhenhua Middle School's flag-raising ceremony with the theme of "Don't forget the national humiliation" starting now" from the loud speaker.
This girl who presided over the flag-raising ceremony all the year round was in the first class of high school. She forgot her name, her voice was terribly harsh, and the way she read the speech was more affectionate than elementary school students. I really don't understand why the League Committee teacher insisted on letting her make a contribution.
"I said, I invite you to dinner!"
The second half of Yu Huai's speech just caught up with the opening remarks in the loudspeaker. The students around him heard clearly, and the burglary laughter spread.
Xu Yanliang, who happened to be standing in front of Yu Huai, took the opportunity and said, "Okay, don't be so polite!" Although it was cheap, it also helped me.
I was about to lower my head and pretend it had nothing to do with me, when I saw Wen Xiaoxiao in the first few rows looking back.
The words on his lips turned into a smile, "Xu Yanliang, if you want to be beautiful, I won't take you."
Wen Xiaoxiao's eyes darkened.
I didn't feel a little bit happy about it, but turned away guiltily.
No.209
I was out of state all day long.
After participating in the competition, Yu Huai was very lively. He made trouble in get out of class and played after class, as if he wanted to make up for what he had said a little while ago.
"What's the matter with you?" He sat back in his seat, sweating profusely, and asked while breathing heavily.
"Hurry up and wipe the sweat, the room is so hot, it will ferment in a while."
"It's a jiao, not a xiao. Even I don't make such a low-level mistake," he corrected cheerfully. "I asked you what's wrong. I was slouched all day."
"Understand, this is the melancholy of a girl."
At this time, the old man of the mail room appeared at the door of our classroom: "Is Wen Xiaoxiao in your class? Someone is looking for the mail room. It seems that the goods you ordered have arrived, so quickly find a few people to move."
"Ah, it should be the costume of the game." Wen Xiaoxiao said.
Xu Yanliang lit up all the male students in the first and second rows to help move things, and the other students who were still sitting in the classroom were excited.
Even the clothes of fifty yuan per set are full of expectations. The boring winter campus, a little bit of new things can make people boil.
As the large cardboard boxes were moved under the blackboard, even students like Zhu Yao couldn't continue their studies. Everyone craned their necks from their seats and looked forward.
"Okay, okay, don't worry," Wen Xiaoxiao followed Yu Huai into the door last, a little out of breath, "I send one number by one number, and the girl who reported the XS number raises her hand first!"
Yu Huai was walking towards his seat, and was suddenly stopped by Wen Xiaoxiao: "Well, Yu Huai, can you stay and help unpack the other boxes? Give you scissors."
Xu Yanliang also stood up very enthusiastically: "I'll help too."
"No, no need," Wen Xiaoxiao shook his head, "Well, monitor, help keep order."
"What order to maintain..." Xu Yanliang scratched the back of his head somewhat puzzled, and sat back in his seat.
I sighed. I turned out to be the stranger in the class who understood Wen Xiaoxiao the most.