Chapter 26: Yesterday

The Ci'an Temple was originally built by Emperor Shengzu in memory of Empress Dowager Xuande, and it was hidden in the depths of the empty mountains and clouds.
Standing in front of the high stone steps of the 300-year-old temple, I paused, and for the moment did not have the courage to step into the empty door.
Although the emperor and mother are half-brothers and sisters, they have grown up together since childhood, and have a deeper affection than a compatriot. I changed my marriage and left Huizhou, but my father forced the palace and turned against the royal family. My poor mother is a princess. She is carefree in her life and is hidden in the courthouse of the Houmen. Encountered a series of accidents, suddenly fell from the clouds of dust.
I know better than anyone how painful she fell at that moment. The husband-in-law who has been respected and respected for decades, in a blink of an eye, will struggle with his own life and death.
There is no place for her to live in the grand palace, the palace of Nine-Chung Palace, but only a place of this world can give her one last moment of peace.
Step by step on the stone steps, stepping into the mountain gate, the path of the Zen house twists and turns, and the courtyard behind the gardenia quietly comes into view.
Immediately, I looked at the concealed wooden door and pushed it up, but it seemed to weigh more than a thousand dollars.
With a squeak, at the door opening, white hair was sparse, and the thin figure of Tsing Yi was reflected in my dim eyes.
I stood at the door and couldn't believe what I saw. When she left Beijing this year, her mother was still green and charming, her charm was high, her face was like a woman in her thirties, but now she was full of frost, and she looked like an old woman.
"You can count it back." My mother sat on the bamboo chair under the eaves and smiled softly at me, but she looked calm and calm, but there was tears in her eyes.
I was a little hesitant and suddenly couldn't say a word, just staring at my mother.
She reached out to me and said softly, "Come here, come here."
Aunt Xu whispered quietly behind her, "Princess has inconvenient legs and legs."
The square inch courtyard, I walked step by step, it seemed that it took me a long time to touch the mother's clothes. The rich sandalwood Fanxiang she uploaded from her Gebu Tsing Yi was no longer the familiar aroma of Landu, which made me suddenly panic. I only felt an invisible barrier separating me from her. I knelt down and lay my face deeply on my mother's lap, tears streaming down.
My mother's hands were soft and cold, and she lifted me up, sighing softly, "I don't have to worry about seeing you come back."
"Yes!" I suddenly looked up at her with tears in my eyes, "There are still many things waiting for you to worry about, my brother hasn't continued the string, I haven't been married for a long time, and my father ... who says you are not in trouble, I don't believe you are willing We! "I thought a lot on the way, thinking about how to persuade my mother and how to coax her home. But when I really saw her, I realized that it was all empty talk.
"Ama ..." My mother looked down, her lips trembling slightly, "I am a long princess, but I have been weak and useless all my life. After all, you are disappointed."
I hugged her, shook my head desperately, and tears were falling like rain, "It's grandma who is not filial, shouldn't leave you!"
It wasn't until this moment that I knew how selfish I was—in my three years away from home, when my mother was the most lonely, I was hiding in Huizhou far away, leaving my family alone and taking my parents for granted. They will always stay there, and whenever I am willing to go home, they will welcome me with open arms.
"Mother, shall we go home?" I wiped away my tears and tried to smile at her. "The mountain is cold and far away, I don't want you to live here! Come back with me, my father and brother are waiting for you at home!"
My mother smiled, "Home, I have no home."
As soon as I stayed, I never expected she would say such despair.
"You are already married, and Grandma also has her own Jiji." The mother lowered her eyes and smiled, "Xiangfu is your Wang's family, I am a royal daughter, and I should return to the palace. But in the palace ... I am Who is there to see the emperor? Who is to see the Empress Dowager, the Emperor, and the fathers?
When my mother said something, I was speechless, as if a boulder was pressing on my chest. I murmured, "My father also helped Prince Edward to ascend the throne. After His Royal Highness ascended the throne, all disputes will stop ..." I couldn't say any more. I could not believe it, and how to deceive my mother. I'm afraid she doesn't yet know the struggle between Xiao Yan and her father, and she doesn't know that her father has turned against his prince.
"Prince is just a guise." The mother glanced up and looked far away, her eyes rising deep and sad, "You don't know your father yet, he has waited for this day for a long time."
I wouldn't be surprised if my father had usurped the throne, but my mother had known everything, but it was unexpected to me.
She smiled sorrowfully and whispered, "His wish in his life is to be above the royal family, and he will not be half- wronged."
"Father really wants ... that position?" I bit my lip, the words of two big inverses, and couldn't say it after all.
The mother shook her head. "That position is not necessary. He just wants to be above the heavenly house."
Overriding the heavenly family, but not motivated by the dragon chair—I looked at my mother in amazement, and did not understand what she wanted to tell me.
"He was arrogant all his life, but he only held on to one thing, that was, he married me." The mother closed her eyes, her voice drifted, but it sounded like thunder in my ears.
My mother asked me if I had heard of Han's. I know that it was my father's only attendant, who died before I was born.
"She didn't die from illness." The mother murmured, "It was the queen mother who gave her the white queen and hanged herself in front of your father."
I was shocked.
"The woman your father really loves is the young man of the childhood .... Everyone admired him for being talented and capable of being a princess, but he didn't know he was unwilling. After our big wedding, Ben also respected each other as guests. , Grandma is over the age of one, but he told me that Han is pregnant and wants to take her as a chamber. It turned out that he has been hiding her outside for the past two years. I was angry and went back to the palace. The mother-in-law cried. The mother-in-law set up a house banquet in the palace that night, and ordered him to bring Han to the palace to repay me. I thought the mother-in-law wanted to reconcile. The two of them actually gave Bai Yan as the court, in front of him and me, as well as the emperor and the prince ... Hanging the Han family alive in the temple ... "The mother's voice couldn't stop shaking, I held her Hand, but found herself shaking more than she did.
How terrible the past is, I ca n’t believe it, nor can I imagine that the noble and loving grandmother in memory has such a harsh wrist, and the loving parents are actually a pair of grudges!
"At that time, he was kneeling on the temple, couldn't help hoeing his mother's back, begging me, and your aunt was also kneeling down. But it was too late, Bai Yan put it on Han's neck, and she was so frightened that she was paralyzed. Struggling to the left and right, only struggling slightly, then ... I was so scared that I saw your father's eyes like a knife, and I fainted. "
The wind was blowing from under the porch, my mother and I were silent for a long time, listening to the sound of the wind moving the treetops, Xiaoxiao stunned.
"After that?" I said rudely.
My mother froze for a while and slowly said, "Since then, I feel guilty, be patient, and no longer have the princess's vigor. Your father has never mentioned Han anymore. From then on, he devoted his mind to the fame, The higher ... After a few years, and you again, I almost died when I was giving birth. After that, he treated me much better, and treated you like a treasure, all kinds of pets ... I think, for so many years In the past, he may have forgotten it. Until the grandma got married ... "
The mother looked terrible, and for a while she could not speak.
When my brother got married, I was twelve years old, and I vaguely remembered the sensation that caused a sensation in Jinghua.
"I want to choose a woman from the clan family who is worthy of grandma, but your father is definitely opposed. I asked the reason, he only said that marrying a wife should be marrying a man, and you do n’t have to demand identity. What is your father like? I do n’t know, man, how can I believe this? At the time when we ca n’t fight each other, Grandma sees a woman herself, that is Grandma.

For a moment, I suddenly thought that I was actually the woman my brother personally liked. In my childhood memory, I was a talented woman who was a perfect match for the piano. Although she was not a brilliant girl, she was born with a delicate and beautiful voice, and she was very cold and taciturn, as if she had rarely seen her laugh. Vaguely remembered that her mother didn't like her, and her brother was not affectionate to her. Soon after the marriage, my brother traveled to Jiangnan alone, and he stayed behind the door all day long, and sometimes heard the murmur of murmur. After half a year, I became infected with wind and cold, and couldn't afford the illness. He died before his brother returned. During her lifetime, her brother treated her very estranged, and after her death, she saw her elder brother for so long that she refused to continue for many years. I always thought that my brother's marriage was forced by his father. He was unwilling to do so, and it was only because of guilt.
But she heard her mother slowly say, "At first, Grandma didn't know, that grandma had been selected and was about to become the right concubine."
"Zilu!" I was shocked, and my back was cold. For some time, the past was told from the mother's mouth, it seems that everyone has constant entanglements of grudges and complaints, but I have been ignorant for more than ten years and have no idea.
"I didn't want Grandma to marry that grandma, but your father gave me a sip. The next day he went to the palace to meet your aunt and asked her to change the second queen's candidate to someone else and marry Grandma to Grandma. After that, I only quarreled with him twice, once for your marriage and once for grandma. "My mother smiled and smiled." On that day, it was the first time I saw him domineering and overbearing, and I finally heard him talk. Speak the truth ... "
"What did the father say?" I stared at my mother.
The mother smiled, "He said that I was succumbed to the imperial imperial half-life, and I can't make Grandma repeat this path. What about the grandma of Grandma, I want to take it to him! Marry me! The eldest son of the Wang family is inferior to the dragon and the phoenix! "
After leaving Ci'an Temple, I kept walking out of the mountain gate and stepping down the stone steps before I stopped to turn around. The bell rang in the temple and spread across the mountains.
Clouds and fog cut off the road between the mountains, an empty door separating decades of grudges and loves. After all, I failed to persuade my mother, who has decided to shave her hair after my nineteenth birthday.
She said that my birthday was near and she would celebrate my birthday again. Had it not been for her mention, I would have almost forgotten. After a few more days, I will be 19 years old ... 19 years old, why I feel so desolate.
My life is still so long, and there are still ten, twenty, thirty years later. I can hardly imagine how old age is, and my mother is full of white hair.
There are magnificent flowers under my feet, and the ancient Buddha with blue lanterns turning back, but I stood in a daze.
Aunt Xu sent me down the mountain, and when the car was about to drive, she suddenly flew out of the curtain and said with tears: "Sister of the county, can't you even persuade the princess to return, she ... really want to cut home?"
"I don't know." I shook my head blankly for a moment, and said dumbly, "Maybe only one person can persuade her."
Aunt Xu suddenly dropped her hand and was speechless.
I looked at her and smiled reluctantly. "I would persuade my father. Maybe there are still peaks and turns."
"The Lord has been here several times. The princess refuses to see him." Aunt Xu shook her head sadly.
"I will meet." I smiled slightly, my heart was bitter. At this time in previous years, I always felt that the ceremony was tedious and tedious, and I was reluctant to deal with it. But I didn't expect that this might be the last birthday that my parents spent with me.
All the way flickering, I don't know how long it took to return to the house.
The maid changed my robes, served tea, and put on makeup. I was just like a puppet. I didn't want to speak, I didn't want to move.
"Prince, girl Yuxiu has woke up."
I listened in my ears, indifferent, still stunned.
The maid said it again and again, and then I came back to God, Yuxiu, it was Yuxiu who woke up.
They said that Yu Xiu's first sentence when she woke up was to ask if the princess was injured.
Seeing me, Yuxiu was struggling to get up and blame herself for being useless.
I held her tightly without a word, and the sadness that pressed me into my heart overwhelmed me.
Yuxiu paused, and gently stretched his hands around my shoulders, as in Huizhou that night, and quietly interdependent with me.
After several days of busyness, wandering between the palace, the palace and all kinds of chores, Xiao Yan also came out early and returned late. His battle with his father has become increasingly fierce.
The prince had wanted to get rid of the restraint of my father for a long time, and with Xiao Xun as an ally, he felt very proud. While the aunt was lying sick, he obeyed Xiao Xiao's arrangements, while replacing the guards in the palace, and planted a large number of Xiao Yan's manpower, while crowding out the elderly in the palace in the name of investigating the rebels. The father was annoyed by the prince's ingratitude, and he stepped up his restraint in North Korea, suppressing Xiao Yan everywhere, and opposed them.
I can see my father in the palace almost every day, but I think about my mother's words, what he does ... I don't want to believe, and I can't face such a father.
I look forward to seeing my father, but avoid him when I see him from afar. He always followed the servants and subordinates, and occasionally when he was alone with him, he clearly had a lot of questions to ask him, but he couldn't say a word.
My aunt's illness has been sustained for a long time, and after this calamity, the illness became more severe. Although his mind is sober, he is still stubborn and very poor.
The time of the eventful season, many changes and twists and turns, the home country chaos and ups and downs, the emperor in the Qianyuan Hall only has one breath left ... The aunt fell ill, and the harem was suddenly without a master. The affairs were pressed on the crown princess Xie Wanru, who was pregnant with Rokko. My aunt was about to call me into the palace and ordered me to assist the prince in acting in the palace. For a moment, only three of us remained in this deep palace.
Since I was young, I have been close to my aunt. She does n’t need to say anything, she can understand it, but it seems like she is hesitant and often disagrees with her aunt. It was as if I were not there. My aunt leaned on the couch and sighed at me. "Why aren't you my daughter?"
"Aunt is ill." I laughed softly. "I am naturally Wang's daughter."
"Really?" She looked up at me, and there was a sharp light in her dim eyes.
My heart flickered, and I met her gaze, but she closed her eyes and sighed silently.
The prince is now obedient to Xiao Yan's words. His aunt knows that Xiao Yan's forces have penetrated the palace and she also knows. Now that she has let the prince dominate, she no longer controls the East Palace, and has repeatedly given in to Xiao Xiao. It seems that she really jeopardizes the soldiers and horses in his hands and the existence of Xun Ziyu. However, my aunt is by no means a person who bows easily. She called me into the palace, and handed over the affairs in the palace to me and like, but never let us act alone, someone around us always stared at us every move ... She never trusted the like, in her eyes, like always thanks People at home. As for me, it's naturally Xiao Xiao.
She puts the two of us by her side. How much do they rely on and how much do they guard? I never dare to think deeply. Sometimes I also ask myself, I have a little bit of sincerity and a bit of precaution for my aunt.
I never see what kind of thoughts are hidden in her deep eyes. And she often thoughtfully looked at me, looked like, looked at the prince ... and looked at everyone around her.
She was stubborn and tough in front of people, but in her sleepiness, she would hold my hand without knowing it.
The Taiyi said that her aunt's illness was stagnant and she could not be cured by medicine.
I knew she was holding her breath and forced herself to recover. Unlike her mother, she still has too much concern and cannot let herself lie down.
Seeing her strong spirits, I became even more bitter. In my aunt's life, three points were given to the family, three points were given to the prince, and three points were not known to whom. I was afraid that only one point was to live for herself.
The emperor's days are short. The aunt asked the emperor's condition every day. If he heard that he was okay, he would be silent, and when he heard that the emperor's condition was getting worse, he would be unhappy.
She is not shy in front of me, and often shows her hatred for the emperor. But if the emperor died, she would lose another point for fear of her survival.
Either love or hate, that person has been integrated into her life.
After that day, while she was lethargic, I still put the Fang Sipa quietly back to the original place without shocking her-if this is her only dream dream, let her stay drunk in this dream.
The status of this deep palace is the highest, and the three closest relatives have their own minds, and no one is willing to trust them with all their heart.
My sister and I, who have been so good for so many years, have been meeting each other now, and can never return to the original intimacy.
The years of Shen Gong are so old that she has given birth to a daughter. Although her face is still beautiful, her body has been plump, and she has been faint and affectionate. The woman who was like a lotus at that time is now an indifferent woman. She didn't care how her aunt treated her. She didn't care much about what the prince did in the DPRK. Only when she mentioned her two-year-old daughter and her child who was about to be born, her pale face bloomed.
I do n’t mention that name, nor does she mention it.
At that time, she asked with tears, "Have you forgotten your daughter-in-law?" ... At that time, it was like her sister who was still beautiful and sentimental, still naively looking forward to this childhood.
We are all of the same origins, we have all been spoiled for the same, and we have all been pushed into the fate of marriage. However, I met Xiao Yan, and she was alone in the deep palace, watching the Prince Ji Ji surrounded by flowers all day long, but she could only keep her motherly style and kept silent day by day. The initial struggle was unsatisfactory, and was gradually smoothed by the years. He was unparalleled in talent and could not be defeated by the solitude of the deep palace day after day.
Under the corridor of Qiong Ting of the East Palace, I sat quietly with her, remembering with smile the days of warm wine and poetry ... She hugged her daughter on her lap and said to me that this life is long and boundless. Just a distraction.
She said that status will change, and affection will change. Only a child, a child connected to his own blood, belongs to you completely. All glory is not long-lasting. Only mother, the most noble person in the world, cannot surpass any power.
It was like smiling lightly, "Ama, you won't understand until you become a mother."
I smiled blankly, thinking of my mother, of my aunt, and of… such a beautiful deep palace, which was just a memory of my long years, but they were the wanderers of a lifetime.
The day before my birthday, Song Huaien returned to Beijing from the tomb.
Zi Xun was placed under house arrest in Xinyiwu, not far from the emperor's tomb, and was heavily guarded.
Song Huai'en didn't come to see me, but quietly visited Yuxiu.
As soon as Fu stepped into the Yuxiu room, she heard her laughing like a bead, urging the maid to say, "Move over and then over."
"Why is it so happy?" I stood at the door with a smile, and saw her leaning on the bedside, waving her arm to point to the maid, it seemed that the injury was much better.
Yuxiu turned to see me, but her face turned red, her eyes were bright, "Prince, General Song has just arrived!"
She pointed to the pile of nourishing treats and showed them to me. They were all sent by Song Huai'en. I secretly laughed. This person didn't know how to be elegant. Seeing Yu Xiuxin's cheeks flushed, I deliberately teased her, "Are these ... there are more in the palace, it's not that rare."
Yuxiu bit her lip with a pinch, and I smiled, "Only this thought is valuable!"
She had a beautiful little face that was instantly red, and her hair drooped softly to the side of her face. I just helped her brush her hair and laughed, "Why don't you dress? See you like this?"
Yuxiu looked down slightly and whispered, "He didn't enter, he just ordered people to bring things."
I was a bit surprised that Yuxiu was unharmed. I was able to stand up and meet guests outside the hall. He had the heart to visit, but he didn't come through the door ... Being thinking for a while, Yuxiu raised his eyes and smiled timidly. "He also asked someone to send the flower, and he was specifically ordered to place it in Xiangyang."
"Flower?" I looked back, and it turned out that she just pointed someone to move around, just the pot ... Orchid.
I stood up, walked slowly to the front of the case, and saw the ordinary blue porcelain calyx planted with a small Cymbidium plant, the green cypress repairing the leaves, the branches and leaves were smooth and intact.
"He also said that it was brought back from Xinyiwu specially." Yuxiu's voice was shy and smiling, sweet and sweet.
I stared at the orchid for a long time, and my heart was soaring, and then I could calmly say, "This flower is so good."
"I planted an orchid beside the road in Huangling when I was young. If it is convenient for the general to go here, please water it for me and do not make it wither."
This is what I asked Yuxiu to give him, and he really took good care of this orchid intact.
Song Huaien, how should I thank him and how to repay him.