Chapter 85: Thousands of voices are all hate (2)

But I only remember that when I looked around blindly, everything was shaking, and nothing was heard. When I recovered, the first thing I saw was Xihe’s deep gaze, which calmed me. .
The first thing I heard was the word "wei", so light and soft, like the clouds floating from the sky.
That was not Shen Xiyao's voice, nor was it the call of the elder brother. That is, Xihe.
My tears couldn't stop falling.
In the morning before my father's state funeral, I returned to the palace. Because of my father's status as the head of the country and the prime minister, and the status of my Ling family, the coffin set out from the Hall of Yingwu.
As soon as I returned to the palace, I learned that the Queen Mother had called me to Cining Palace to have lunch together.
I know that the Queen Mother should like me in her heart, and I also like this legendary woman who has gone through three dynasties. What's more, her attitude towards her father is completely different from her son.
She should appreciate her father.
Unexpectedly, Xi He was also there.
Because of mourning, I only wore a snow-colored cotton robe embroidered with white bamboo leaf patterns, covered with a frost-colored linen flap, no beads or jade on my head, and only a few white silk flowers were used to press my temples.
Shen Xiyao was already sitting next to the Queen Mother, Xihe was on the other side.
I looked at the chair that had been placed next to Shen Xiyao, with extreme rejection in my heart, but I walked over and sat down dignifiedly, and the queen mother looked at me lovingly: "These few days, the queen has been in a bad mood, and she has been tired and tired. Yes, but everything will be fine after tomorrow. You will take care of it then. Don't worry about everything in the harem."
I reluctantly smiled: "Thanks for your mother and loves you. These are all matters of the children and ministers."
Shen Xiyao turned his head to look at me with concern, and said, "Vil has lost a lot of weight in a few days, and is not in good spirits. You have to take care of it."
Huiju brought a bowl of medicine and said, "Manny, the emperor has ordered the royal doctor to prescribe a calming and invigorating prescription for you. He has been hanging on the small stove. You use the porridge first, and then drink it while it is hot. ."
I looked at Shen Xiyao, and he was strange in front of me. He is no longer the man I met in Youranting, nor the talented man at the lantern show, nor the emperor who cut my flesh and detoxified me. He, at this time, is just my enemy.
"Medicine..." I spit out the word very lightly, with a sad smile floating on my cheek.
Medicine, is it also the medicine to take my life? My father is dead, the emperor will no longer fear the Ling family. As a victim of reconciliation, I am useless at this time.
What's more, if I sit in this back position, my Ling family's position can't be shaken. But if I also went with my father, then Shen Xiyao really has nothing to worry about.
"Queen, what's wrong? Are you uncomfortable?" The queen mother frowned and looked at me.
I looked up and smiled: "Mother, my son really misses my father..." I was choked with speech.
The queen mother looked sad, and her voice changed a little to comfort me: "Child, don't be sad anymore, people die...cannot be resurrected."
Her last sentence was full of sadness. I nodded, and the golden spoon in my hand fiddled with the thick purple rice egg custard in the golden bowl in front of me. I took a spoonful and ate it slowly in my mouth, but it was full of bitterness.
The Queen Mother is asking about Shen Xiyao's state funeral. It seems that the Queen Mother is very concerned about this matter.
I was grateful and looked at Xi He quietly. He was also looking at me. When his eyes met, he gave me a powerful smile. I lowered my head and felt so sad.
When the lunch was about to end, the Queen Mother had already talked to Shen Xiyao and Xihe about some household things, and I listened silently without saying a word.
The Queen Mother always casts a concerned look from time to time. I just listened quietly, and occasionally glanced at Xi He carefully, always bumping into the same inadvertent but caring gaze that he happened to cast, and finally there was a little warmth in my heart, no longer feeling depressed and suffocated.
Suddenly a word from the queen mother extinguished the only warmth in my heart.
Her voice is so casual and gentle, but I sounded like sticking a sharp knife into my chest.
"He'er, since your concubine is pregnant, she should be promoted to be a concubine. But you have to ask her to take care of her."
I suddenly looked up at him, Xihe's expression was a little strange, but he still replied with a small smile: "Thank you for your mother's concern and reminder, the child minister knows."
The queen mother glanced at me, my eyes didn't look away from Xi He's body, but she said casually: "My palace doesn't even know it, congratulations to the lord."
The queen mother smiled softly and said: "It was only these two days that the heartbeat was diagnosed. The Aijia was very pleased to hear that, there is finally something comfortable."
I bowed to the Queen Mother: "Because of the father's matter, the queen mother is worried. The sons and ministers hereby thank the queen mother."
The queen mother helped me up: "Good boy, don't be too sad."
I sneered in my heart, don't be too sad, yeah, what else can I be sad?
My husband killed his father, and the man in my heart, the concubine was pregnant.
I suddenly felt that I had nothing left. That's fine too, isn't it? No worries anymore.
I am not worried about the three brothers. My mother has them to take care of. Since I entered the palace, I have already dispelled the dream of being with my parents.
But the only thing I can't let go of is Xi He, that love.
Now, he is about to have his own flesh and blood, so it seems that he should be happy, no matter who the child's mother is. What's more, since he can have children, he must like the child's mother.
I smiled quietly, so good, so good.
After lunch, I returned to Kunning Palace and asked Hui Ju to play Shen Xiyao. I wanted to be alone tonight, but declined his intention to accompany me.
In fact, I want to be alone and think quietly.
In fact, there is another reason, and that is that I can't see him at this time.
Not forever, but not tonight.
In the evening, a man wore a cloak, not allowing any attendants to follow, and walked in this huge palace. Although it was beautiful, everything suffocated me.
I felt depressed like never before, and felt that I could no longer bear it.
The autumn wind blew on my body, and it was already a deep chill. I couldn't help but shiver, and the embroidered shoes with lambskin sole smashed a yellow leaf.
I looked up, and I arrived at a place I've never been before.
It was covered with dead leaves and no one cleaned it. The wind is here, changing from the gentle appearance in the harem, but it is much wilder, whirling on the ground, making a whimpering sound, as if someone is crying.
Looking up, Gao Mu looked desolate. A few jackdaws perched on the branches, and occasionally the strange cry of "Karma" was creepy.
Where is this place? There is such a place in the palace?
I wondered where is such a broken place?
Next to it is a row of high walls. The difference is that it is not the vermilion red of other palace walls, but it is just the original black of the blue bricks, with moss growing on it, and the moss is even black and greasy on it. It looks very uncomfortable.
I resisted the discomfort that my heart was upset, and took a few breaths before I looked down the wall.
There was a door not far away, and I walked slowly over. There was a plaque on the door that was already mottled with red paint. There was a plaque on it with two blurred characters, but all of them were shocking.
Fanfare.
I was shocked, how did I get here!
Fan die, just look at the name to know where it is.
In this harem, which part is not as prosperous as beautiful? However, once the grace is gone, all the prosperity is just the shining lights reflected in the mirror, without a trace of temperature.
That way, it's also prosperous, it's just visible but not touchable.
The true passing is that Chun En is no longer and the luxury is exhausted.
I looked at the closed door, and there was an guard guarding the door, with no expression like a sculpture. Seeing me, I just took a look. Maybe my dress was so simple that it was not as good as a lower court lady, and he didn't salute me.
I didn't mind, just looking at the door, I felt a strange feeling in my heart.
The sun gradually went down, and a crow called and flew over his head. It was already time for dinner. From afar, two eunuchs carried a big bucket and walked over. They just gave me a glance when they passed me.
I stepped aside and watched the closed door open and close, but with just that look, I also saw the ruin and depression inside.
The heart trembled for no apparent reason. At this moment, the guard who had been standing at the door opened his mouth: "Look, you are also a concubine. This is a place that is bad for you. You should go back soon."
I looked at this person's no longer youthful appearance, and there were traces of the baptism of years on it. Being a guard here is actually the most difficult thing.
I lightly nodded: "Thank you for reminding."
After speaking, he glanced at the door of Fansi again, smiled lightly, turned and left.
The turbulent white sky is flying all over the sky, as if the heavy snow of midwinter is coming early.
I looked at the long funeral procession, the eldest brother was walking in front by himself, Shen Xiyao also came, and the ministers were naturally indispensable. Shen Xiyao issued the imperial decree yesterday, and all ministers in Beijing will come to participate.
In fact, those ministers who didn't make an order would also come, because he, the emperor, came, and those ministers, who would dare not come?
I looked at the expressions on these people's faces, although they all put on a look of distress, but in their hearts, there should be many people smiling proudly.
Feeling helpless and sad in my heart, my eyes fell on Shen Xiyao, who was a step ahead of me, and he lowered his head to look at what was in his hand.
I couldn’t help but stretched my hand into the sleeves of the white plain filial dress. Something cold stabbed my finger. I trembled and pulled the dress on my body. I looked up, and the world was white. A sad sound of sorrow came from my ear, hitting my heart that was already covered by hatred.
I took a deep breath and looked up again. This scene was more like the day I entered the palace, except that the sky full of festive red was replaced by sad but clean white.
Fortunately, finally, it was also broken.
I looked at this white piece of sky, it was really pure, it was completely different from the red and white.
For a moment I seemed to feel that I had escaped from the palace that suffocated me, but I didn't care anymore, because after tonight, I will be able to leave the shadowy and murderous world forever.
And all the people I love have already had perhaps the most complete results.
The next thing I have to do is to calm the hatred in my heart, and to sever the source that caused all the things today.
My hand touched the cold hard object in my sleeve again, and a sad smile appeared at the corner of my mouth, but vaguely, I seemed to see the fascinating door, which opened slowly and heavily to me...