Chapter 242: After girlfriend got cancer

When Xiao Qingrong arrived at Xu Jiayin's house, Xu Jiayin had not returned yet. It should be uncomfortable because of the illness. Xiao Qingrong had the key to Xu Jiayin's house. After opening the door, it was determined that there was no one in it. Instead, he came to a cafe outside Xu Jiayin Community.
Sitting in the coffee shop and looking out through the floor-to-ceiling windows, Xiao Qingrong's hair has gradually dried, which has also made Xiao Qingrong's feelings condense with the hair.
Seriously, the current feeling is a feeling that Xiao Qingrong has never experienced before. It seems like when I think of Xu Jiayin, my heart is happy, but what is in my heart is a kind of sourness and helplessness, probably because I know After Xu Jiayin will not belong to himself, the feeling of love and hate is very wonderful.
Previously Xiao Qingrong, after experiencing so many things, has already seen the warm and cold in this world, whether it is family or friendship, all can be exchanged with benefits, or in the beginning, it is necessary to pay a price, if not How can we get these prices for each other?
Love is also the same. I like a person first, because of the advantages of others, I have an adoration in my heart, and then slowly approach. The last two people ’s thoughts gradually collide, and they have feelings. This is also an exchange. It's just that from the beginning of hobby exchange, to body exchange, and finally to soul exchange.
Xiao Qingrong has never loved anyone, whether before or after 618, the love he saw and heard on the surface looked really blossoming, but the dirt inside was unbearable. one strike.
He leaned on the sofa, eyes closed, and Xu Jiayin's smile appeared in her mind. When she smiled and said that she liked herself, she cried and said that when she must be with him, those memories that may be happy or sour Appeared in Xiao Qingrong's mind, and then turned into feelings to affect Xiao Qingrong's emotions.
This is really a very wonderful feeling, and people will have a kind of addiction. Even when Xiao Qingrong thinks of these memories, he will also look forward to the future of the two of them. Obviously, there is no future.
The so-called love is just an illusion caused by the effects of dopamine and norepinephrine. Once you lose this kind of thing, you will lose this feeling.
Just like Xu Jiayin, she chased herself crazy, and then after she chose to give up, she was able to easily and heartily affect another man. This is the so-called dopamine effect. From a medical point of view, love is something like that. Is something that can easily deceive a person's brain.
618 did not snor, and looked at his host quietly. It is a system created by humans, so he does not understand human thoughts at all, and one host can live well, why should the host go to another person? What about feelings? This is something it can't figure out, and it can't stop it.
At this time, 618 could not understand the idea of ​​the so-called "audience". The mood was about seeing a person walking on the shore without shoes even wet, and I wanted to see if such a person fell into the lake. How do you help yourself?
Xiao Qingrong is like a person who is outside of these worlds. He doesn't care about people in any world. No matter whether he is a parent or sister of a body or a friend, he doesn't care. It really makes people want to see what kind of mood he would feel if he fell into hopeless love.
Xiao Qingrong was sitting in the cafe so quietly, from about 11 o'clock in the morning to the afternoon. At 4 o'clock in the afternoon, he saw Xu Jiayin returning home, his eyes chased after Xu Jiayin, but he failed to keep up.
"618, do you know what it was like when I first saw her?"
Xiao Qingrong, who had been silent for nearly a day, finally spoke, and 618 was shouted.
【what? 】
It was paying attention to its own host throughout the whole process, and did not know that Xu Jiayin had returned to his home. At this time, he just wanted to know what his host thought.
"The moment I saw Xu Jiayin, I just felt that my heart was not my own. It started beating madly, and my mind became messy. All of Xu Jiayin's faces were full. The feeling was really wonderful. The heart is trembling, a feeling I never felt. "
This time, after Xiao Qingrong entered the world, not only did he have all the memories of the body, but also all the feelings from the body. Among them, the feelings for Xu Jiayin were the deepest.
Many people think that Xu Jiayin can chase Xiao Qingrong for six years and be with him for two years. He must be the one who loves Xiao Qingrong the most in the world, but he has never thought of it. In this world, the most indifferent person is emotional. The most true.
The feeling of Xu Jiayin that belongs to this body affects Xiao Qingrong's thinking and affects his senses. The feeling of being overwhelmed by the dryness of the tongue when thinking of someone is something Xiao Qingrong has never experienced.
"I love her, 618, I can feel that I love her, but we cannot be together."
Xiao Qingrong's face was a dreamy expression of happiness, but at this moment in 618 eyes it was unprecedentedly false.
"I saw our future. She gave up on me. When she faced a life distress, she chose to give up on me and was unwilling to face me."
At this time, Xiao Qingrong's voice turned into an aria, which made 618 doubt whether his host had been re-personalized. As a result, a closer look revealed that the host seemed to be affected by the consciousness of the world, and was suddenly weak.
As a system, it cannot change the impact of a world on the host.
If the host reached each world before, it only needed to know the memory of a body, and then it will carry the emotions brought by this body. In this case, 618 cannot guarantee what will happen in the future. Will the host be affected infinitely, but it knows that it must keep the host alive and live well.
After saying this, Xiao Qingrong's expression turned into sadness and sadness. After a while, he reddened his eyes and looked at it like a sleepy beast.
The waitress on the side actually stared at Xiao Qingrong for a long time. After all, Xiao Qingrong was looking good, and since sitting in the morning, she knew it was a person with a story. At this time, she saw Xiao Qingrong covering her face with red eyes. I know why, and I feel a little uncomfortable in my heart, guessing if the other party has encountered any difficult things.
The emotion brought by this body is to suppress the blazing heat under the calm appearance, just like a volcanic eruption, so Xiao Qingrong realized the supreme pleasure, whether it is being loved or loving others, these feelings are strange and sincere This is something that Xiao Qingrong has never owned.
"618, I want to record this feeling, I want to keep this feeling !!!"
He said, suddenly looking up at the waiter aside, those flushed eyes were still tears at this moment, and the stared waiter was all in a moment, staring at Xiao Qingrong dumbfounded.
"Can you help me find a pen and book?"
The waiter heard Xiao Qingrong's words, paused, and quickly nodded, after all, the cafe could still find these.
Soon, Xiao Qingrong got the paper and pen from the waiter. It was the simplest black ball-point pen and clean white drawing paper. It should be used by the waiter in the store to record things.
He picked up the pen and began to draw on the white drawing paper. The waitress occasionally glanced at the coffee when he went to coffee the guest, and found that the male guest's hand was originally on the white drawing paper. The outline of a girl began to appear. After almost an hour, the face belonging to Xu Jiayin was drawn vividly in Xiao Qingrong's pen.
Xu Jiayin in the painting is frowning, with a happy smile, even if she looks like a little girl with ordinary looks, but the love in the eyes of the girl in this painting is difficult to hide, let people see, Found the love in the girl's eyes.
When the waiter passed by again, I saw all the portraits, and the girls' painted eyes filled with love seemed to look through the drawing paper.
"Is this your girlfriend? It's so good."
After she spoke, she found that she seemed a little embarrassed, suddenly a little embarrassed, and it was awkward to stand there.
On the contrary, Xiao Qingrong looked up and showed a smile towards her, letting her look at the drawing paper in her hand with a showy tone.
"Yes, this is my girlfriend. I love her very much."
His face was also a happy smile, so that the waitress didn't know what was going on, and she had a feeling of envy, and it wasn't known whether he was envious of the man in deep love or the woman who could be liked by this man.
"I wish you happiness."
She also smiled, remembering the boy he secretly loved, maybe ... she should also try to confess?
The two spoke a few words briefly, and then Xiao Qingrong didn't go to checkout until it was dark, but he did not go to Xu Jiayin, which made 618 very puzzled.
[Host, why didn't you find Xu Jiayin? 】
The host is affected by physical emotions and should be very fond of Xu Jiayin.
Xiao Qingrong has returned to his apartment again, and at this time he raised his eyebrows when he heard 618.
"Why am I looking for her? The moment she learns that she has cancer, she makes a choice, doesn't she?"
Conceal cancer, do n’t tell parents, do n’t tell your boyfriend, choose a person to face, this is Xu Jiayin ’s own ideas, as the person who loves her most in the world, of course, he must respect her choice!
618 felt something was wrong, but couldn't say anything, and Xiao Qingrong went to the study in the apartment and started painting again.
As a genius in clothing, Xiao Qingrong naturally has a stronger talent for painting than ordinary people. Soon, in Xiao Qingrong's hands, a dream wedding dress was designed, which made 618 look great.
Xiao Qingrong looked at the wedding dress he painted, but he was very satisfied. In the past, he always felt something less no matter what he designed or when he was creating, but now, the moment he picked up the brush, he His mind is full of emotions that need to be poured out, and the design in his hand also has life for the first time.
Like the portrait Xiao Qingrong painted in the cafe before, he finally has emotions.
This night was not peaceful for Xu Jiayin. She was hiding in the bed, her phone was turned off, thinking about the future of hopeless life, and thinking of the pain that might be experienced, she felt anguish, especially in such a dark night, only She was able to cry while holding the quilt, and wanted to talk to her boyfriend countless times, but reason eventually stopped her. She couldn't drag her boyfriend, she couldn't drag anyone ...
In contrast, Xiao Qingrong purchased the piano and violin overnight. Since his paintings began to have emotions, the music is the same. Xiao Qingrong enjoyed the emotion brought by this body, but did not intend to stop Xu Jiayin.
Everyone has their own way to choose. Since Xu Jiayin has chosen a betrayal, then even if all this is prevented, many things have already happened, the river cannot flow backwards, and the feelings are the same.
Don't those people want to see what he loves someone like? He let everyone watch and watch how he loves someone.
The next day, Xiao Qingrong still chose to take a leave. He planned to design an unprecedented wedding dress. He wanted to put all his love for Xu Jiayin in this series of wedding dresses and participate in this most famous foreign Alice wedding dress design contest! He wants everyone to know his love for Xu Jiayin!
Xu Jiayin got up early after sleeping all night long, and had made up his mind. Now that he has cancer that cannot be treated, he can't drag his parents and boyfriend.
I opened the phone and found that there were more phone calls from her boyfriend, but only when she saw her phone call, Xu Jiayin reddened her eyes again.
"Qing Rong, what should I do? I really don't want you, I really don't want to leave you ..."
Holding her mobile phone, Xu Jiayin cried in a ball, but after venting the general cry like this, Xu Jiayin could only calmly continue to do what she needed to do next.
First of all, Xu Jiayin found a real estate agent and said that he wanted to sell this house. Before buying this house, it was also because of Xiao Qingrong. In the past few years, because he knew Xiao Qingrong was holding stocks, he had to stick to the other person to take stocks with him. This house, nowadays, I don't need it anymore.
Because this rest assured that I haven't lived for a long time, and it was newly renovated. The price given by Xu Jiayin is also appropriate. The agent quickly contacted people. Someone came to see the room that afternoon. However, Xu Jiayin was not in a good mood and did not accompany him. Now, she hasn't figured out how to say goodbye to everyone.
According to the doctor, she could only live for half a year at most, even if it was chemotherapy, it would be difficult for one year. She searched her cancer condition online last night and found that there was no successful treatment at all, all of which were exacerbated. He died soon afterwards. If chemotherapy was used, it would only aggravate the pain ...
For three days, just three days, Xu Jiayin sold her house. The house was more than 80 square meters and sold for more than 2 million. Xu Jiayin planned to leave the money to her parents as a pension. Qian, her parents are such a daughter, and it is difficult for Xu Jiayin to accept them because they send them white hair and black hair.
In addition to drawing the design draft, Xiao Qingrong called Xu Jiayin in the past three days. I did n’t know how much I called. In the end, Xu Jiayin still did not answer the phone. At this time, Xiao Qingrong knew that Xu Jiayin chose her own. Want to go.
After selling the house, Xu Jiayin stayed in the hotel, holding a mobile phone, watching her boyfriend make a dozen calls today, and tears fell again.
If she can, she really wants to spend her life with the one she loves. But now, everything is impossible. She only has half a life, how can she delay Qingrong?
The finger holding the mobile phone was shaking, opened the boyfriend's message record, and then slowly entered a few words that we broke up, just a few words, as if all the power of Xu Jiayin was exhausted, and the message was sent At that moment, Xu Jiayin burst into tears, and then quickly turned off the phone. The whole person was lying on the bed, and tears finally burst out unscrupulously.
Ding Dong, the sound of the mobile phone did not interrupt Xiao Qingrong's thoughts. At this time he was drawing another new wedding dress, so he ignored the movement of the mobile phone. After a while, he finished the design drawing, and Xiao Qingrong picked up the mobile phone. And saw the message inside.
For a moment, Xiao Qingrong froze, almost hitting instinctively.
"Sorry, the call you dialed is off ..."
The sweet prompt sound made Xiao Qingrong put down the mobile phone in his hand, and tossed the phone aside, the heart twitched for a moment, making Xiao Qingrong even pale.
He thought he was ready for everything, but he did not expect that the feelings of this body, when this breakup came, were still so painful, as if the heart was crushed, and it was broken after reorganization.
"618, you see, this is love, a feeling that says love but can't trust."
Xu Jiayin's escape, why not distrust Xiao Qingrong? If you have enough trust, how can you take such a step?
At this time, looking at the design drawing he just drew, Xiao Qingrong actually felt a feeling of wanting to destroy everything. In the end, he stopped himself, just got together and took the mobile phone and walked out Go out and be broken up, after all, you need an answer.
I drove to Xu Jiayin's house overnight, only to find that the house had been changed, and the key could not be opened.
These already known materials became a living thing. At this moment, Xiao Qingrong, sitting in the car, bowed his head, seemed very sad, but the indifference in his eyes was unknown.
Don't they like to watch these? He let these people see what he looks like, dominated by ‘love’.
Anyway ... someone in this world always loves madmen.