Chapter 37: No longer a princess

The conversation about the transfer lasted for a week.
As Jiang Xiaozhen expected, her parents did not agree to her going to a public school.
With the help of He Yu, the moment she said that she wanted to transfer, she was overwhelmed by her parents' self-blame.
What you can see is the mother who wiped her tears; father kept calling, he boasted about the money, and he tried to find a way.
It is not directly visible, but comes from material compensation.
The big fish and meat bought with the borrowed money were only eaten by her; the new skirts bought with the borrowed money were issued with new cards; they carefully asked her what gifts the current students like.
Jiang Xiaozhen's eyes were dark.
Unable to convey the appeal; the wound in my heart that was trying to heal but was cut, recurring.
The next week is the final exam, and it won't work if you don't go to school again—everyone knows, including Jiang Xiaozhen.
The family did everything they could to treat her well and coax her to persuade her.
Silence is the wall she erected to counterattack. In the soft and hard bubbles, the wall is built higher and higher.
Jiang Xiaozhen does not eat the things her mother bought, does not wear the princess dress in the closet, and does not answer her father's phone calls. Facing her mother's cry, she closed her eyes, covered her ears, and sealed herself.
At the end of the week, Xu Meiyin took out the two forms from Jiang Xiaozhen's schoolbag.
She sat next to her silent daughter and called Jiang Yuan in the distance.
"Xiaozhen definitely wants to go to this school. She has an application form for class transfer and an application form for student union officials in her schoolbag. If the debt collector took our money, she is still going to school well."
Jiang Xiaozhen bit her finger, chewing on the outermost skin.
"Yes," Jiang Yuan echoed: "We have borrowed money, Xiaozhen can continue to study. Don't listen to what He Yu said, transfer to public schools. If a public school is really good, why doesn't he go to study? ?"
She could taste the smell in her mouth, and her fingers were numb and painful. She knew that even the closest family members could not say something, because once it was spoken, it was a permanent wound.
But it was too hard.
Jiang Xiaozhen couldn't bear it anymore.
The throat was dry and she hadn't spoken for a long time. When I uttered my voice, my voice was dumb and the tone was broken.
She asked her parents: "Do you know what I want?"
Xu Meiyin looked at her, and the other end of the phone fell into silence.
"You don't know," Jiang Xiaozhen said, "because for a long time, you only gave me what you think is good. You never asked me what I want."
"Do I want to go to this school, or do you want me to go to this school?"
"Do I want to wear a princess dress, or do you want me to wear a princess dress?"
"Do I want to eat the good things that we can't afford, or do you want me to eat?"
"I said that I wanted to transfer school. You misunderstood that I was worried that my family had no money. I said that I didn’t need to buy more skirts. You misunderstood me that I was saving money for the family and giving up my favorite things. I said I don’t want to eat those things. I deliberately starved myself for fear that you would spend money."
"Actually, I don’t need so much. Go to school, dress up, eat and live, those superficial things. But you have worked so hard to create these for me, and you want me to enjoy it. If I show that I don’t need it, I feel ashamed. I feel that I am deeply guilty for your contributions."
"Dad and Mom, after all, is it me or you who cares if the family has no money?"
Xu Meiyin began to cry again.
But this time, her tears did not block Jiang Xiaozhen's mouth. She hardened her heart and wanted to finish what she wanted to say at once.
This is the end of the matter, and it is hard to get over. Jiang Xiaozhen understood that her parents were destined to be sad when she heard those words. However, their family of three has been evading for so many years and can no longer escape. They have to face this ugly scene together, even her, including her.
"You are talking endlessly about the tuition fees of high-end private schools. You want me to go back to study. How do I read? The thing I am thinking about is, when we are driven out by the owner of the furniture store, where will we live next? How do I pay back my money? Next time I get a debt collection, where does the money come from?"
Jiang Yuan sighed, "Xiaozhen, these are not things you care about."
"Dad," Jiang Xiaozhen interrupted him: "Can I be taken out of our family's difficulties just by saying "It's not you"?"
"You never tell me how much money our family owes, and what a big figure. Because you think I am young, I shouldn't worry about my family. You want me to be the little princess of the past."
She wiped a hand on her face and Jiang Xiaozhen felt wet tears.
She didn't want to cry, but she cried accidentally.
"I will inevitably think about this, Mom and Dad. There is no toilet where we live. Mom and I have to walk to a public toilet several hundred meters away; we don’t have a kitchen, and my mother can’t get enough to eat. I hear her stomach cry; we There is no shower room. Every time you take a bath, you need to mix hot water with tap water. When you take a shower, the water can’t splash out and it will wet the floor of the room. I’m unavoidably frightened. When I see the debt collector come, You fight on the ground; I inevitably feel that I am out of place. When the schoolmates talk about their superior life and spend money, they never blink."
Xu Meiyin held her daughter's face and felt very distressed: "After all, I still blame the lack of money. If there is money, my daughter will not suffer these crimes."
"No," Jiang Xiaozhen shook her head repeatedly: "You still don't understand."
"What makes me hardest is not that our family has no money and our lives are difficult. What makes me hardest is that I want to enjoy everything you give me, even if I am uncomfortable, even if I am full of guilt. , I have already felt the hardship, I still have to pretend to be okay and don't let you worry, because I am the jewel in the palm of the Jiang family, your little princess."
She grinned and told them sorry.
"Mom and Dad, I can't help it."
"Being a princess is really difficult."
Picking up the pink-blue lace skirt, she let her mother take a look.
Take a look at her face, her figure, and this skirt.
"Mom, do you think I am wearing the right clothes?"
Xu Meiyin can no longer deceive herself.
It doesn't fit, it's ugly.
If Xiaozhen doesn't feel happy, who is this kind of dress for her to be happy?
Why have you pretended not to see all these years?
Jiang Xiaozhen wiped her face clean, and then pulled a tissue to wipe away mother's tears.
She stopped crying, and there was no cry in her voice.
Jiang's daughter, she is much stronger than mom and dad imagined.
They get along day and night, but they seem to have only known her since today.
Jiang Xiaozhen hid her chewed fingers, raised her head, and said, "I am already, and I am no longer the domineering, carefree Jiang Jiamingzhen. I will panic, worry, and feel inferior. I am too. When I grow up, I can’t ignore the situation at home and be indifferent to your efforts, so my heart has always been difficult to settle... Back to the original question, Mom and Dad, do you know what I want?"
They listened to her.
After decades of giving without repayment, they waited for the first time, listened, and let her speak her wish.
Jiang Xiaozhen smiled and said, "I want our family of three to be good."
The first column in Jiang Xiaozhen's heart, the priority in his wishes, has never been about her personally.
She loves her home, her family, more than the colorful world, all the glitz that can be expected.
...
The winter vacation ends, the first week of school.
After school, He Yu met Jiang Xiaozhen at the school gate.
The fat girl wears a simple ponytail, black-framed glasses, long-sleeved trousers and a gray school uniform with a white scarf. It looks super warm.
Seeing him coming out, Jiang Xiaozhen jumped up and waved at him.
He Yu smiled at her and left his friends and walked towards her.
"Are you waiting for me?" He thought about the only reason he could see her at this point.
"Yeah, I am waiting for you specially." Jiang Xiaozhen raised his feet and held his shoulders.
He Yu was so crushed by her that he was about to fall, and beat her with a smile to tell her not to mess around.
"I just sent out the school uniform today. Take a look at my new school uniform. Does it look good?" She showed him her thick long sleeves and wide trouser legs.
"Not bad." He Yu commented honestly.
Jiang Xiaozhen refused to accept: "Quickly say it looks good, or you will lose your head."
"Well, look good." He raised his hands and surrendered.
"Too perfunctory?" Jiang Xiaozhen angrily: "Punish you for inviting me to eat spicy spicy soup."
He Yu refused: "I don't want it!"
"You want it!" She was ready to complete with a gesture, locking his neck so that he could not move.
He Yu didn't show off his power, Jiang Xiaozhen thought he was still a good dog before.
"Is this the attitude of begging for dinner, Jiang Xiaozhen?" He said coldly, his tone becoming dangerous.
"Boom!!!"
A head collapsed, just listening to someone hissing inhalation.
"Please, please?" Jiang Xiaozhen asked calmly.
"I think about it..." He Yu touched the sore spot: "How do I feel bleeding from my forehead?"
"I'll take a look for you." Jiang Xiaozhen broke his head.
"Gosh," she exaggeratedly yelled, "you have words on your forehead!"
"Huh? What?" He Yu acted with her.
Jiang Xiaozhen frowned, looked at his forehead, and read each word.
"Jiang Xiaozhen, He Yu especially wants to invite you to dinner, because I heard that if you don't invite, she will play him again."
After reading, she looked at him.
"...Please." He Yu was kind enough.
She took his arm and yelled "Yeah" hoppingly.
He Yu rubbed his head while being dragged away by her unwillingly.
His friends didn't mean to wait for He Yu, because the moment He Yu saw Jiang Xiaozhen, he told them: Some friends come to me, you go first, I'm with her.