Chapter 8: Ignorant feelings (3)

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I still go to school as before, but the world I see in my eyes is always a bit different. I often wake up in the middle of the night and cry under the quilt. I miss my grandfather crazy, miss the wine chocolate he bought for me, miss the faint ink fragrance on his body, and his gentle and pampering gaze. I know very clearly that no one in this world will be like him, doting on me without reservation.
My classmates are still carefree, and I have learned to lose. In this world, how happy you were when you had it, how painful you were when you lost it. God will give you as much as you can.
On the weekend, I took Qiong Yao's "Yaner in the Forest" to read a book in the game room. Wavelet, squid and several brothers were pouring cement in front of the game room.
I asked them what to do. The squid said that it was Xiaobo's idea. The door was covered with cement, which was easy to clean and easy to keep clean. In summer, a shade can be set up to sell cold drinks.
After reading for a while, I ran to the courtyard to read. After reading the whole book "Yan'er in the Forest", I stared at the grapes above my head in a daze. Does the man in the novel really exist? Will someone love me like this? Thinking of Zhang Jun, I have joy, melancholy, and secret fantasy and expectation. Maybe one day in the future, he will love me, just like the hero in the novel loves the heroine.
When I went to the game room the next day, the concrete floor in front of the door was already dry. The squid and wavelet are rollerblading, and they both skated well, and I stared at them in surprise.
Someone came to buy game currency, and the squid took off his roller skates and called me: "Four-eyed panda, I'm going to the store to play for you."
I looked at the roller skates in front of me, and I felt helpless in my infinite joy. Wavelet sat next to me, helped me adjust the size of the roller skates, and said, "Try it."
Like wearing crystal shoes, I put on roller skates carefully, and felt that the rollers under my feet slipped straight, and I didn't dare to stand up. Wavelet stretched out his hand. I held his hand and stood up tremblingly. He imparted the experience: "First learn to slide the outer character, push hard with one foot, and slide the other foot forward. Grasp your balance, bend your legs slightly, and lower your weight as much as possible. Remember to lean forward, so that even if you fall, you will have your arms supported and you wo n’t hurt your head ... "
With his help, I started roller skating. However, I am really an extremely idiot of the cerebellum. I can't grasp the essentials at all, and often wrestle. Sometimes, wavelet can support me, sometimes, he not only can't help me, but also brought me down. The squid laughed at the door: "Why is the four-eyed panda so stupid? I will slip three times after sliding. When will she learn this way?"
I stared at him, but he still laughed. Wavelet comforted me: "Take your time."
We fell in the squid's ridicule and fell over and over again. I fell so green that my arm fell, and the wavelet was dragged down by me and hurt. The squid shook his head and smiled: "It's terrible! When Bo waved himself, he learned it without falling twice. Now he teaches you that this big idiot fell more than he did when he was studying. Roller skates. "
After sliding for more than an hour, I was still timid even standing on my own. The squid gritted his teeth and hit me non-stop, humiliating me: "Too stupid, Brother Li said you are smart, smart ass!"
I did not say anything, took off my roller skates, and sat silently in the yard to read a book, eyes staring at the book, but in my mind, Zhang Jun was holding the girl's smooth and slippery look.
Xiaobo came in to see me and asked, "Is the squid angry?" The squid stood at the door and looked at me.
I snorted and scolded my mouth in disdain: "I can carry the whole song" Spring River Flower Moon Night ", can he?"
The squid
fucked
and waved his fist at me and turned into the room. Xiao Bo smiled and asked me,
Do you still have the courage to slip?

I also laughed: "Why not? Einstein made the third bench, only to be able to watch it, others will learn it three times, I will learn it ten times, a hundred times!"
"Okay, I will continue to teach you tomorrow."
"You don't need to teach."
Wavelet was puzzled, and I said, "All you can tell me has already told me. The following is on my own practice."
Xiao Bo looked at me silently and said with a smile: "That's fine, the roller skates are placed in the yard. When you want to skate, take it yourself."
Since then, there has been more scenery in front of the game room. Every day at noon, I ran to practice as soon as I had lunch, and I practiced at night, and I practiced on weekends. I always remember the teaching of wavelet, wrestling is ok, but don't fall to the head. Whenever you fall, remember to protect yourself with your hands, because you often support the ground with your hands and feel that your arm is broken.
I do n’t remember how much I fell. I only remember that time when I was walking, I was swinging, and my palms were injured. When I fell, my thumb was lying, for a long time, I can't stretch it straight, but I still follow my practice.
My perseverance and perseverance surprised the squid. Seeing that I fell too badly, he also told Wavelet to let Wavelet persuade me. Actually, it's not that I like roller skating much, just because there is a picture in my mind, in which Zhang Jun takes my hand and glides smoothly.
In the hard struggle with roller skates, the grief of my grandfather's death gradually settled to the bottom of my heart. The physical fatigue made me sleep as soon as I went to bed. I never woke up and cried in the middle of the night.
After a few months have passed, due to the limitations of talent, I still can't be gloriously personable, but it is also quite different. Just when I decided to start learning to skate, just when I decided to pick a suitable time and show it in the school, I suddenly found that the students were not roller skating. It's like a gust of wind, coming suddenly, and suddenly, my reaction is always a lot slower than others, I only noticed when others have been playing hot, and when I learn, everyone no longer likes to play Too.
I was full of blood, but there was nowhere to sprinkle. I abandoned the roller skates in a daze, and I learned from Xiaobo that slippery things naturally disappeared.
3
If you are not in love, you will fall in love
I can lock my diary, but I cannot lock my heart.
I can lock my heart, but not love and sorrow.
I can lock love and sorrow, but I can't lock the eyes that follow you.
Years later, I can, Yun Yunfeng is light, smiling and shaking hands with you, and then say goodbye gently.
And that, the word that is not exported, you will never know,
It is locked in the bottom of the surging time.
At the recommendation of the owner of the book rental shop, I started from Qiong Yao and plunged into the world of romance novels. In Taiwan ’s romance novels of that period, when describing the heroine, it was not popular to talk about how beautiful this person is, how to describe this person ’s temperament, and how different. I know my appearance is not outstanding, so I often think about temperament, secretly eager to have temperament, like the heroine in romance novels, ordinary looks, ordinary family, but rely on some indescribable Temperament made me pay attention to the hero. But the word "temperament" is too abstract. Observing all the girls around that are popular with boys, I think they may look different, but one thing is the same, that is, they really look pretty. I didn't see any female grow up very ordinary, just because she has a comic girl-like smile, so that boys like it.
Just when I was puzzled by the word "temperament", God sent me the answer and the blow together.
I think I have always been inferior, but the appearance of Teacher Gao has caused my world to be projected into the sun suddenly; Zhang Jun's friendliness has made me eagerly desire more, even wishful thinking about the destiny arrangement. Why is he and I the fancy of Mr. Gao? Why is he the only one who takes tutoring classes with me? Why would he pick up stones for me? Why did he talk to me today? Why doesn't he ask him to borrow rubber at his desk, but ask me to borrow? Why did he look back at me when he walked over my table today? why……
Among countless reasons, all the daily trivia has been analyzed by me on the left and on the right, meaningless and analyzed by me. I always feel that these are all signs that imply the future, and it seems that destiny is telling me What, I vaguely long for the fantasy in my heart to become true. I like to use fortune-telling with playing cards, and count the fate of me and Zhang Jun over and over again. If it is good, I will be very happy; if it is not good, I will reshuffle the card. .
Perhaps the answer to the myriad of why is very simple. He walked over to my table and looked back at me because a drop of ink splashed on my face. He asked me to borrow the rubber because his rubber at the same table disappeared ... I do n’t think so, so everything is in the fantasy of my wish, and I was plated with the dream colors I expected.
Just when I was with a disturbed heart, carefully observing, carefully expecting, and approaching him carefully, a transferred girl changed everything.
When she walked into the classroom with the Chinese teacher and stood on the podium and smiled generously to everyone, I finally understood the word "temperament" in romance novels. The teacher said that her name was Guan He, a real person as the name suggests, a lotus flower. Later, I have traveled to many cities, visited many countries, and met many beautiful women, but every time I think of beautiful women, Xiao Guanhe always jumps into my mind first.
She was wearing a violet coat, a purple butterfly plastic hairpin on her head, and her straight black hair obediently draped her shoulders. Her facial features are not prettier than the pretty girls in the class, but she has a feeling that I have never seen before, which has caught my attention. Faced with an unfamiliar class, she neither hides shyly nor eager to fuse, only standing in the middle of the water.
In the following days, Guan He showed an indescribable charm. She studied well and won the first class in the first exam; she was versatile. "Night of the Prairie" surprised both teachers and classmates; the board report she published reversed the miserable loss of our class to class (2) all the year round.
But she has no pride in other girls. She always smiles kindly and has a gentle voice. She is neither humble nor humble to her teachers. She is humble and polite to her classmates. No matter boys, girls, good students, or bad students, she is captivated by her style.
It is said that it is difficult for girls to have friendship, and the girls in our class have repeatedly verified this sentence. After a while, they are intimate and inseparable. After a while, they talk about each other ’s bad things, but Guan He has become an exception. She, even the girls in the whole class, likes her. Even if a girl says bad things about Guan He, the rest of the girls will shun her collectively. Gradually, even the most proud and jealous girl in the past began to please Guan He, and Guan He had the same attitude towards everyone. She was very kind to everyone. As long as she needed her help, she would definitely do it. She is also very estranged from everyone, without a real "good friend". However, it is her attitude of being close and alienated that makes girls crazy. Every girl competes for Guan He, wants to make herself a good friend of Guan He, and even brags to others that Guan He is actually with her. Even better, people who seem to be favored by Guan He will be superior.
I was dumbfounded and unexpectedly watched Guan Heyi's thunderous and unspeakable momentum, and conquered the hearts of all men and women in our sixth grade (1) class. To be fair, I like her too, because I believe that with the broken mouths of the gossip girls in our class, all my scandals can't escape Guan He's ears, but she has the same attitude towards me as she is not close to other classmates, Not exclusive. Once I dripped the ink on the clothes, she saw it and told me to apply the rice grains to the ink traces and rub it gently, it would be easier to clean.
Guan He is really a very comfortable girl, she has a gorgeous brilliance, but her brilliance is gentle, will not stab others like a child prodigy, and she feels more sincere and tolerant, will make you wonder Unconsciously I fell in love with her and wanted to get close to her. I sometimes think very boringly, if Chen Jin has not jumped, I do n’t know who will win the two "kings" or "kings", or will there be a spark between each other?
Zhang Jun was not spared in this "Ihe wave" that swept the whole class. I often saw him and a few buddies looking for Guan He, often saw him take the initiative to help Guan He on duty, often saw him and Guan The Dutch talk and laugh. After carefully looking at Guan He, and then looking at myself, I retreated silently into my shell.
Once, when we finished the tutorial class in the math competition, he asked me: "If a boy wants to chase a girl, what should I give her? What do girls generally like?"
I stared at him dumbly. The heart in my chest seemed to coagulate in pain, but still struggling to jump, pounding, pounding, pounding ... the sound was getting louder, my chest was all He seemed to be broken, but he could not hear at all, still holding his head in distress, and asked: "Girls on TV like flowers, how do you like to send flowers?"
I lowered my head, hugged the book, left a sentence "I don't know", and hurried towards the classroom.
Soon after, I heard Zhang Jun confess to Guan He, and Guan He politely rejected him. The girls in the class said that they had noses and eyes. It seemed that they were at the time and witnessed everything happening. Guan He is described as graceful and elegant, noble like a swan, but Zhang Jun is said to be overstretched. Although not as a toad, Zhang Jun ’s rejection was justified in the mouth of the girls.
I am not a little bit happy, but I am full of sorrow, pity him, and pity myself. At that time, I was often in a daze in the corner of the game room alone, thinking of Guan He's demeanor, I couldn't help but sore my nose. If she is the most beautiful lotus in the lotus pond, I am a little grass growing on the muddy ground beside the lotus pond. No matter how it compares, I have nothing to compare with her.