: Chapter 39

This short sentence, like a sharp blade, tore open the chest cavity and penetrated the heart.
Fan Shen's hand holding the phone was very hard, and the joints were white.
The dream will wake up, and the reality with a little head is more cruel than imagined.
Fan Shen narrowed his eyebrows, put the phone back in silence, turned and left without making a sound.
Xiao He didn't know anything about it. He came out of the bathroom, dressed neatly and went out with the drawing board.
Xiao He took the cellphone, sent a message to Al, and went to the garden first.
As soon as he had set up the drawing board, Al came.
Xiao He was surprised at his speed, plus he was in a good mood, so he smiled at him: "So fast."
Seeing him smile, Al was satisfied with the longing and waiting for the past few days. He couldn't help but soften his eyes, move his fingers slightly, and fell gently on his shoulder.
Xiao He frowned and wanted to avoid him, but Al didn't do much, just patted gently. This kind of behavior is not considered overstepping even among friends. In addition, he broke the agreement and agreed to see each other every day. It was delayed for seven days, and Al was not angry. He felt a little guilty in his heart, so he endured it. Up.
It's just that this scene fell into the eyes of Fan Shen, who was above the tall pavilion, but his fingers curled up slightly.
It turned out to be Al.
After Fan Shen came here on the first day, he quietly investigated his mother's situation.
His mother has a younger brother named Al, who looks exactly like the person in the portrait.
There is no doubt that Xiao He likes his uncle.
Fan Shen knew this, but he also knew that Al was dead.
He died unexpectedly five years ago and never came back.
People can't come back from death, and Al can't survive, but from the current situation, it can only be that he didn't die at all.
On this point, Fan Shen is not surprised.
He has an unstable foundation in the Fan family. If someone deliberately conceals him, it will be easy.
Why are you hiding? Who is it?
Fan Shen stared at the man who was almost exactly the same as himself, with a haze in his eyes.
Al likes Xiao He, as he can tell from that explicit sight.
Does Xiao He like him?
Fan Shen squinted his eyes and resisted the tightness in his chest.
Not like it, but deeply in love!
Think of the safe, think of the portraits, think of the paintings he keeps painting day and night.
It's all yearning, all yearning, all love that is too strong to dissolve.
Xiao He loves Al deeply, and Fan Shen knows it very well.
But he thought Al was dead, and there was only him in this world. He was so good to Xiao He and he loved him so much. As time goes on, Xiao He will slowly empathize and slowly fall in love with him.
He and him have a lifetime.
But now... everything is over.
Xiao He couldn't possibly belong to him, and even lied to him.
Betrayal gnawed at Fan Shen's heart like a poisonous snake, and many details that weren't considered before became clear, clear, and shocking at this moment.
Seven days ago, Xiao He happened to have become, alive, and like him since then.
He felt a bit abrupt at the time, but because he was too surprised, he didn't want to think about it, but now he remembered everything clearly.
He is trying to please him.
In order to let him relax his vigilance, he did not hesitate to let him do what he wanted, in order to paralyze him, he did not hesitate to pretend that he liked to enjoy, and even to meet Al, he could even say so many ambiguous things.
Fan Shen slowly recalled, his heart getting colder and colder.
He thought of Xiao He's waist injury. At that time, Xiao He said it was hit by the drawing board, really?
At that time, he felt that Wu Qing was a bit like a fingerprint, but because Xiao He's demeanor was natural, and because Xiao He didn't like to be close to people, he quickly dispelled that idea.
Although a few days later, he had arranged someone to look at Xiao He, but Xiao He never went out.
But now when I think about it, I feel so absurd and so ridiculous.
That's not a drawing board, but Al.
Al is holding his waist, so hard, what is he doing?
Fan Shen felt his heart split when he thought of Xiao He being close to others behind his back.
Will he kiss him when he doesn't know it?
Where he can't see, will he groan under him
moan?
When he is busy with their future lives, is he embracing him?
Envy and anger were like a raging flame, instantly burning his whole person up.
Fan Shen rarely has such a big mood swing, but now he is sitting on the high pavilion with his fist hitting the railing, and with a bang, the wooden fence is broken into two pieces.
Can't stand it anymore, Fan Shen got up and strode back to the house.
Xiao He and Al get along fairly happily.
Only after an hour was up, he was still relieved.
It's finally over.
Seeing the change in his expression, Al felt sour in his heart and couldn't help asking, "Do you like Fan Shen?"
Xiao He was startled, but he quickly said, "I like it."
A trace of injury flashed through Al's eyes, but then he asked: "If this is the case, why are you afraid that I will meet him? What is the contradiction in this?"
Xiao He said nothing.
Al said slowly: "If you can tell me, I will leave completely and never show up again, okay?"
Xiao He suddenly raised his head to look at him, a little unbelievable in his eyes.
Al saw the surprise in his eyes. He narrowed his eyes and sighed: "I will not lie to you, and there is no need to lie to you."
Xiao He thought for a while, and felt that it didn't seem to be a big deal. It would be great if it could be done once and for all.
After all, it was really unsafe for him to meet Al secretly in this way, and if he was hit by Fan Shen someday, it would be even more unclear.
As for how to say it, Xiao He soon had his belly draft.
He lowered his head slightly and said softly: "It's a bit embarrassing, but if you want to hear it, I can tell you."
Xiao He took a deep breath and said,
I’m not a qualified father, or a very trash father. I raised him from childhood to adulthood. When I was young, I really treated him as a child, but when Fan Shen slowly When I grow up, my feelings for him have changed, and I can't tell when it came from. In short, it has changed, but I dare not say it, let alone show it."
He paused, and continued: "You know, I love painting, and I am quite good at drawing people. I often draw the appearance of Fan Shen's growing up in my mind. I come and go, and I save more portraits until one day Fan Shen His life experience was revealed, and he reappeared these portraits, so he misunderstood, thinking I like his father."
Xiao He found himself panicking quite well.
Al's eyes darkened, and then he said, "But Fan Shen's father doesn't look like Fan Shen, but I'm exactly the same as him, so you're afraid of him misunderstanding. Do you like me?"
"Yes." Xiao He heaved a sigh of relief, "If you meet, he will definitely think that you are the person in the portrait, then..."
He didn't go on, but Al added to him on his own: "It turns out that this is the case. Fan Shen is suspicious. Even if you explain, he won't believe it, will he?"
Xiao He nodded, then looked at Al with some expectation.
Al looked at him and sighed in his heart. When he met him, it was always a step too late. If he was forcibly plundered, it would not be impossible, but it would be harder to get that heart.
There are frustrations and regrets, but Al is not a person who can't look away: "Well, I see."
"Xiao He, goodbye, I won't bother you anymore, but..." Al smiled at him slightly, "If he treats you badly, you can come to me, and I will be waiting for you all my life. "
Xiao He was startled, then said slowly: "I'm sorry."
Although I am very sorry to Al, Xiao He felt that Fan Shen was unlikely to be bad to him in his life, so there was no such possibility.
Saying goodbye to Al, Xiao He had a complete thought, and the pace of returning became lighter, and his mood became more cheerful.
He entered the room with a smile on his face, and unexpectedly saw Fan Shen coming back.
And Fan Shen waited for him for a long time, long enough to live like years.
Xiao He is back, full of energy and vigor, why? Because I met my loved one for an hour.
Look, seeing him now, he was immediately stunned.
Why do we have to treat the same face differently?
Fan Shen chuckled lightly, got up suddenly, hugged him in just a few steps, and then kissed the thin lips fiercely.
Xiao He hadn't recovered yet, he was a little surprised, he hadn't figured out what happened to Fan Shen, but he was in a good mood today, thinking that he could stay with him day after day without scruples, he didn't want to care too much.
Fan Shen is young in the end, so if you want to, he will accompany him.
Putting his hands around his neck, Xiao He actively responded to his kiss.
If he did this in the past, Fan Shen would slow down with scruples, become gentle, and lead him to linger together.
But today, feeling his response, Fan Shen's heart stabbed like a needle.
When he thinks that he will treat Al like this, when he thinks that he will treat another man more enthusiastically, Fan Shen's eyes are only dark.
Why can't it belong to him?
Why can't it belong to him completely?
With this thought, Fan Shen didn't let go of him, but instead added blood to the kiss.
Xiao He finally felt his emotional instability, and he looked at him questioningly.
Fan Shen didn't give him a chance to think about it, rudely tore off the clothes that were in the way, without any foreplay, without any temperature, and rushed into him with a strong desire for revenge.
Xiao He suddenly widened his eyes because of the tearing pain.
Fan Shen finally let go of his lips, and he could finally make a sound: "Xiao Fan, what's wrong with you?"
Fan Shen kept moving, even if Xiao He's face turned pale, even if there was a smell of blood, he couldn't stop the pain in his chest, the kind of pain that the heart was torn, crushed, and engulfed.
"I've seen it all," he pressed against Xiao He's ear, whispering in a cold, low, hopeless voice, "You and Al are together."
Xiao He was like falling into an ice cave.
Fan Shen buried him in his neck, and continued: "Why do you want to lie to me, even if you can't give me anything, but don't lie to me? Give me a little hope and push me to hell. Is this fun? It's all my fault, but we have been together for eighteen years, why are you so cruel to me."
Accompanied by desperate words, there was a merciless collision.
But Xiao He no longer felt the pain in his body, he was completely occupied by the sharp pain coming from his chest.
He couldn't see Fan Shen's face, couldn't see his expression clearly, but only by his voice, he had already realized the despair and sadness in it, and even... there was a deep sense of helplessness.
His Fan Shen is so painful because of him.
Xiao He stiffened suddenly. He hugged Fan Shen regardless, and said quickly: "No, Xiao Fan, I didn't lie to you, I like you, I really like you!"
He kept confessing, but it fell in Fan Shen's ears, but it was just sarcasm and ridicule.
like him? Fan Shen couldn't help taking a bite on his neck. Why does he still say such things against his will?
He likes him, but it is also completely different from him.
How can love and love be compared?
No one knew better than him how much Xiao He loved Al.
I love to sleep at night, I miss every day, I must use a pen to describe it, carry it with my heart, and use a long time to remember.
Fan Shen has always understood that he can't hold Xiao He's heart, but at least he can have him.
But now, he will soon have nothing.
Because of despair, because of fear, because of the collapse of faith, he was on the verge of collapse.
"Actually, it doesn't matter." Fan Shen suddenly became gentle. He kissed him, touched him, made him fall in love and made him comfortable, and then whispered, "It doesn't matter if you love him, you can treat me as him. ."
Xiao He's heart jerked.
Fan Shen smiled and looked at him, with a gentle and heart-warming expression, but his eyes were hollow like the abyss of hell.
"Is it okay to treat me as him? Xiao He, I look exactly like him, what he looks like, so can I, whatever you like him, I can become like that, it doesn’t matter if you don’t love me, treat me as Does he have a hobby? I can become him, you can call me Al, you can imagine me as him, it’s okay, it’s really okay, as long as... you don’t leave me.

The last sentence has already smeared the inevitable sorrow.
Xiao He's heart hurts to the extreme. He burst into tears and hugged Fan Shen firmly, and said loudly: "No, Fan Shen, I like you, I don't love this Al, he is not him, I love you, only It's you."
"Isn't it him?" Fan Shen smiled lightly, "I said so, can't you think of me as him?"
"Yes, why do you think of me as him?" Fan Shen's eyes were hollow, and his azure blue eyes were being filled with blood. "You have a real him, so why do you need a fake me?"
"Don't say that, please, don't belittle yourself like this." Xiao He couldn't control his emotions, he kept talking, but he couldn't let Fan Shen hear.
"Since I have no value in existence, why did you raise me?"
"Since you never liked me, why give me hope?"
"I love you, Xiao He, why can't you belong to me?"
"I just want you, Xiao He, why do you want to love others?"
Fan Shen stared at the people under him in a dazed manner. There was no expression on his delicate face, but there was a weird, childish smile in his eyes.
"You will run away."
"As long as you have strength, you will run away."
"I can't hold you down, so we don't want our legs, okay?"
"Wherever you want to go, I can hold you, I am your leg, okay?"
Fan Shen's tone became more and more gentle, and the smile in his eyes became deeper and deeper, just like a child who finally got his beloved toy, happy so pure, happy so simple, but it makes people cold.
Xiao He realized what he was going to do, and his eyes were already panicked: "No... don't... don't, Xiao Fan, wake up, Xiao Fan, you believe me!"
"No?" Fan Shen couldn't hear the others at all, "still not?"
There are unconcealed loss and distress on his beautiful face, which is much more touching than when he has no expression on his face, but it looks like a demon, looks beautiful and harmless, in fact, it is full of poisonous inside.
"Yes, you hate me, don't want to see me, and don't even want to use me as a substitute, Xiao He, you are really the cruelest person in the world, but even so, I still like you."
Fan Shen leaned over and pressed it against his chest, listening to the beating heart, and suddenly said softly: "It beats really fast, it beats really nicely, but... it just refuses to beat for me."
"Your heart, since it only beats for others, then we don't want it, okay?"
Xiao He's throat tightened suddenly, the last time the scene ran into his mind like a flood, and his whole body trembled slightly.
This can't go on, absolutely can't.
His little fan, the child he raised with one hand, he couldn't make him suffer so much.
At the last second, Xiao He completely ignored it.
"Fan Shen, I don't care if you believe it or not, but the truth is that Al is you, you are Al, you are the same person from beginning to end! I love you only!"