Chapter 56:

I just want to be able to hug you again one day.
He didn't commit suicide, he just thought he had found a way to survive.
Means to approach her.
The boy hugged the girl in his arms and kissed her cheeks, corners of her lips, and the tips of her hair indiscriminately. He tasted the salty and hot tears on her face.
The tip of my heart was also scalded.
He has always been helpless to her, he can only throw away his helmet and armor, and raise his hand to surrender.
"Manman, if you don't like it, I won't do it again. I will listen to you. Don't cry, okay?"
Zhang Man gripped his shirt tightly.
He was helpless and depressed, so he was hiding here, thinking of this way.
Her voice is muffled.
"Does it hurt?"
The boy dumbed his throat and touched her long hair: "...Manman, I don't hurt, it doesn't hurt at all, so it has no effect."
"I want to listen to the truth."
The teenager was silent for a while: "It might be a little painful at first, but I really don't feel it now. Manman, don't worry, okay?"
He didn't do this to make her feel bad.
He actually made her shed so many tears today.
Zhang Man hugged him distressedly and uncomfortably: "Boyfriend, no matter what, you can't resist this way."
It's so shocking to be so scarred.
She didn't dare to look at it at a glance.
Human pain is originally a way for humans to protect themselves. Because of fear of pain, people will not hurt themselves easily.
But he did the opposite.
How intense is the pain that I want to eliminate with pain?
She knew it might be difficult for him, but she still had to say.
"Li Wei, can you...try to accept it and accept your delusion? You know, you are just sick, it's not a big deal. You can't always fight it hard."
He is just a body of flesh and blood, and if such a confrontation continues, one day he will be bruised all over his body.
"I know, it's difficult for you. No one wants to be uncontrollable and delusion about something unnecessary. But since you can't control yourself, why not learn to accept it? Let's slowly accept the psychology later. Treatment will be good one day."
The teenager did not speak, and the two fell into a long silence.
The light in the room was adjusted to the lowest level, soft light, with a hint of warm yellow.
Warm colors always make people feel warmer than cool colors.
The boy looked at the shadow on the girl's face and thought for a long time.
His voice was hoarse and painful: "Manman, I don't want to be unable to control myself all the time."
Finally, he had to say the biggest fear deep in his heart.
"Do you know what happened the night you lived in my house?"
"I saw Nick standing by the bed, trying to pinch you, but when I woke up, I found that my hand was on your neck."
The boy said, shaking uncontrollably.
As long as he recalled that scene, his heart would become cold irresistibly.
"Manman, maybe one day in the future, I will be like my father, completely lose my mind, and personally..."
He hugged her tightly, buried his face in her hair, and couldn't say anything.
She is his favorite person.
If there is such a day, then what will she do? He could not imagine that if one day she was struggling on the verge of death, he would continue to harm her without knowing it.
These days, this incident has become his biggest nightmare.
Zhang Man was stunned.
Unexpectedly, such a thing happened that night.
No wonder, no wonder he clearly said that day that he only has her, and wanted her to be with him forever, but then resolutely left her afterwards.
It turns out that all the decisions are not random.
He knew that he would not be well after leaving her, but he still made a choice. He must have struggled and suffered, right?
Zhang Man once again realized clearly that this boy loved her more than himself.
Her heart was slightly sore and painful, and she lifted her head from his arms and held his face.
"Li Wei, your illness is completely different from your father. I have asked the doctor about your condition. The possibility of dementia is very low. It is very likely that that day was a coincidence. The possibility of you hurting me, very low."
"Do you remember? What I told you just now, if you leave me, then what kind of person I will become. Mediocre and boring, mediocre, and I will never get vigorous love again in my life."
She looked directly at the anxiety and pain in his eyes.
"So, why do you want me to fall into the inevitable misfortune of my life because of a small probability event that did not happen?"
"What I want is to be able to stay with you all the time. If you are stable, I will feel at ease."
After she finished speaking, she didn't ask him to answer immediately.
Unlike before asking him to admit their relationship, she had to give him time for this matter.
Sometimes, acceptance requires more courage than resistance.
When encountering such a thing, no one can accept it calmly, even him.
She held him quietly and yawned.
The exhaustion of the body gradually blurred her mind.
"Boyfriend, I'm so tired today. I want to sleep for a while. Will you stay with me next to me?"
When people are tired, they tend to be fragile and soft in their hearts.
Zhang Man rubbed his chin very naturally, coquettishly: "I want you to hold me to sleep."
As she said, her head arched over his warm chest and found the most comfortable sleeping position.
"You will wake me up when it's almost twelve o'clock, and we will count down together."
The boy nodded, holding his girl fiercely, listening to her steady breathing.
Yes, today is Chinese New Year.
As on his birthday, she can always give him the best gift.
...
Zhang Man was awakened by a kiss.
She opened her eyes in a daze, the room was dim, the only light was off, and the man was breathing heavily and arching her face indiscriminately.
It looks like a big furry dog.
She had just slept deeply, and her head was not very lucky now. Feeling that his face was itchy by his kiss, he pushed his head away sleepily.
"Li Wei, stop making trouble, what time is it now?"
The young man didn't speak, but wanted to get closer, but she pushed his head out.
"...11:45, Manman, you asked me to wake you up."
Zhang Man blinked dry eyes, and she actually slept for more than two hours.
"It's so late, and the countdown is fifteen minutes away. You must not trouble me."
The boy's voice softened, with a little grievance.
"Manman...I haven't kissed you for so many days..."
She was so fragrant, so soft, and she was itchy in her arms.
The ecstasy of losing and regaining, as well as the satisfaction of holding her in his arms, his mood, after meeting her, seems to be ups and downs every day.
He couldn't sleep at all.
She slept deeply and breathed quietly. Each breath was accompanied by slight ups and downs of her chest, and the thin spine on her back also up and down, like a sleeping kitten nestled in his arms. .
Her hair was soft and covered the entire pillow, but there were also a few strands that got into his collar mischievously.
Under such a warm yellow light, her lips appeared soft pink, and the lip lines were not obvious. Unlike him, her lips were always dry.
She is much more delicate than him.
He looked at her like this, didn't want to do anything, just wanted to kiss her desperately.
This girl can easily ignite his most primitive desire as a person.
She is the only thing he wants to have in this world, and she is not even enough.
Unfortunately, seeing her sleep soundly, he couldn't bear to disturb her.
I had to be alone for two hours, and finally waited till 11:45 to wake her up.
Zhang Man was amused for a while: "Then you have kissed you many times today."
The teenager looked at her, leaned forward to imprison her head, kissed her on the cheek and lips, and replied: "That is my reward for choosing the right option, it doesn't count."
...
The two finally rushed to the last minute to count down the new year together.
The pain and torture finally left with this year.
"Boyfriend, Happy New Year!"
"Manman, Happy New Year!"