Chapter 1117: I'm afraid I can't look back

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She sniffed her nose and found an old house in the suburbs. The house is very old and dangerous. Now that no one lives here, most of them have moved away. .
"Do you want to live here?" The landlord looked at Yan Huan for a long time, "Do you have 500 yuan in January?"
She didn't look down on words and words, but she looked down on her. She was so infuriating that she wouldn't have done any shameful business.
Yan Huan nodded and took out 500 yuan on his body and handed it over.
She lives here only because there are few people, so she won't be discovered by anyone. Now, she simply doesn't see anyone, and doesn't want to be seen.
"There is still five hundred dollars to be paid," the landlord said so gladly with the money, and the lion opened his mouth again.
Yan Huan took out five hundred from his own pocket again, and the landlord took it in one hand, and then counted them one by one.
The landlord took a total of a thousand dollars, but she couldn’t help but glance at Yan Huan. I really felt that this woman was too strange. Even if it’s cold in winter, it wouldn’t wrap her like this, but she Then touched the money in his pocket.
Despite it, anyway, the house was rented out, and even if she wanted to get her money back, she would not return it.
As long as the money comes into her pocket, it is impossible to go anymore. But there is a month's worth of food at home, and you can eat more meat.
Yan Huan took the key given by the landlord, the house is really old, as long as someone with a little ability, will not live here, here is far away from the urban area, the traffic around is not well developed, live here, even It is difficult to sit on a bus. It takes half an hour to find the bus stop sign. The house is old and inconvenient to do anything.
As far as Huan is concerned, what he wants is the best house, and of course it is also expensive.
One room and one hall, inside it is fortunate that there is a small toilet, which is the innermost, both are ventilated, that is, the house is empty, there is almost no furniture, except for a bed, some are empty Poor, she didn’t even have a basin. She came here empty-handed. She didn’t even carry a piece of luggage. All her things were on her body, that is, four thousand dollars on her back. No, it’s only 3,000 now. She still has to be embarrassed compared to when she was in Chenjiacun, and her life is still sad. At the very least, she can still find a job, but now she is like this, she is going to find She can’t find any job even if she’s working. She is afraid that others will know that she is a hidden gentleman, and she is also afraid that others will know that she has that kind of disease. I think of myself as a tortoise, and I may shrink into this shell all my life until the day she dies.
She closed the door of the room again and shrank herself in the cold wind. Then she lowered her head and faced her facelessly. She did not dare to let others touch her now, she did not dare to touch others, she was afraid It is the colored vision of others, as well as the disgust and disgust towards her.
She is afraid of such a look, she is also afraid of such a life
In this way, she walked for about an hour, only to find a shop, spent a hundred dollars, bought some things, a set of bedding, a sink, and some daily necessities, this is to hold this again Something went away, and the wind blew on her from time to time, and some sweat on the forehead would ooze because of the heat, but it wouldn't be long, but it would be cleaned by the cold wind at this time.
Sweat kept flowing, but on one side was constantly drying, and at this time, she was holding a pile of things. It seemed that there was still a road ahead in the future, but I didn't know whether she could finish it.
After she came back, she couldn't help crying at the same time that she retold her breath.
She wiped her tears clean with her sleeves, not too soft cloth, and touched her skin, it seemed that she could feel the pain when the rough cloth rubbed her, like the cold wind outside was cutting.
She opened the door again, and it remained the same. There was nothing. There was an old wooden bed that could not be used again. She was holding things in again. At this time, she was thin like a ghost. She was thinner than when she was in Chenjiacun, and when she was in the village, there was no drug addiction and no such diseases. No one dared to be an infectious disease in contact with her.
She struggled to lay out all the futons, and there was a small pillow. This might be her home in the future. It might be the lair where she lived for a long time. It seems that the days have passed back to the past.
She had never returned to the Lu family. She was still a rural woman who had returned from Xiaoshan Village, and she had nothing.
No, no, she hugged the pillow in her arms, and she cried a few times. It was different, or different. At that time, she at least dared to see three children and dared to recognize three children. Yes, but she is now, she is now, she dare not even see them, she touched her face, she could not touch any flesh, and she seemed to be able to touch her eye bags and pan With a cyan face.
As well as the visible pinholes on her arm, she was almost covered with disgusting red bumps all over her body.
Suddenly, she put down the pillow in her arms. Then he squeezed his hands firmly. The nails of both hands are almost stuck in the palm of the hand.
Her fingers were holding the quilt from time to time, loosening, and spreading again, and then loosening again, she burst into tears, and almost bitten her lips and lips with blood and flesh.
In the blur, she seemed to know nothing. It turned out to be unconscious to get his little money, and then began to walk to the door.
She is going out, she is going out.
She couldn't help it, she was in pain, woo...
Let her die, really let her die.
If it is so painful to live, why should she live.
My mother has been crushed, her tender mother, the mother who regards her as everything.
mom.
Yan Huan knelt down suddenly, no, she hugged herself, she couldn’t go, she couldn’t go, she couldn’t look back, she couldn’t be seen, she couldn’t let anyone know who she was.
It can't hurt Lu Yi, or three children.
They are all hers. She has never done anything for them. How can she not hurt them again, and then add all kinds of stains to their life, and this life is also a stain that cannot be washed away.
She didn't want her children to hate her.
She hugged her head. At this time, her body was no longer her own. Her painful and even soul were twisted. She bumped her head to the ground. Her head was blood.