Chapter 44: ?Speaking deeply and never said

December 4.
The weather is already very cold. She wears a lot, like a bear who only spends the winter. While standing at the station waiting for the bus, I ran into an elementary school classmate in the class next door.
The classmate said: "What car are you waiting for?"
She said: "No. 122."
When the classmate was about to speak, he twisted and stared at her back. She turned her head back, her classmates screamed quietly in her ears: "Heaven, Sheng Huainan."
In fact, she wanted to turn her head and not look at it, for the "first time meeting" that she never forgets in her heart. However, that person was too conspicuous, and she couldn't fail to see him as soon as she turned around.
A figure wearing a white sports coat and carrying a black NIKE schoolbag from the back, tall and refreshing, the setting sun faintly smudges his left half of his body, and his right half of his body is left in the shadows. It looks like, like... She found her universal analogy The law has lost its effectiveness.
If there is regret medicine in life, she hopes that day will be cloudy. Whether he was five or sixteen years old, sunshine helped him bewitch people.
Then he turned to look at the stop sign.
He grew up, and his delicate eyebrows were more stretched and exquisite when he was a child, and he looked so beautiful, exactly the same as her fantasy-is there anything more terrifying than this?
"Why did he come to take the bus today? He is usually picked up by his driver. The weather is cold, and they rarely come out to play basketball, and they have no chance to see it. Today is a real profit."
She listened to her classmates with a smile, while watching him for a long time.
Three boys and two girls came over, and one of them patted him the shoulder. They talk and laugh, and occasionally do things together. The two girls didn't talk to Sheng Huainan, only quarreled with other boys, but their eyes were hanging on him inadvertently.
Luo Zhi suddenly remembered his name on the form, standing far away from everyone, proud and lonely.
In fact, he does not seem to be. At least, it is popular with everyone, who will be thrown into the air after a basketball game, a good-tempered, well-popular teenager who will be surrounded by many people. However, the loneliness and alienation that remained in his eyes forever did not seem to be her illusion or imagination.
The tattered old man rode by on a tricycle. He caught up with him a few steps, put the fallen stack of newspapers back on the car, and then planned to return to the crowd to chat. As a result, the newspaper fell off again within two steps. Almost no one moved around. He ran up again to catch up with the car and put the newspaper on it. However, the body was bumped because of the bumpy road. The newspaper fell again, and the thin plastic rope could not support it, and he almost fell apart. Up.
The scene in front of him made Luo Zhi almost laugh. An annoyed Sheng Huainan persevered, like a pupil, picked up a crumbling pile of waste newspapers, and threw them into the car fiercely—the old man felt the vibration, looked back, and realized what was going on, hoarse. He said vaguely: Thank you young man.
His white sports coat was stained with a lot of gray, and he was a little embarrassed to hear the old man’s thanks. He scratched his head and smiled. His eyes were bent like crescent moons, just like when he was a child, and like Luo Zhi, but instead It seems to be much more sincere and happy than when I was with those classmates.
Luo Zhi didn't know why he was a little flustered, his ears fevered, and he staggered a step and hid behind his classmates. No one noticed her strangeness.
Why is he not an arrogant, selfish, boring broad young master? In other words, why is he not ugly and sloppy?
That way things will be much simpler.
He took the other bus and left first. Luo Zhi continued to chat with his classmates casually. The empty chats concealed the deep loss in his heart.
His dazzling and beauty made her see her smallness and humbleness from the door glass when she stopped on the 122nd road.
After eleven years of tirelessness, it turned out to be so ridiculous. She unilaterally envy, unilaterally envy, unilaterally challenge, unilaterally remember. How humble.
The door opened to both sides, just to cut the mirror image of Luo Zhi in half from the center.
With four major entrance exams in the first grade of senior high school, Sheng Huainan was far out of second place in the school year every time.
And Luo Zhi’s best grade in her first year of high school was the fourth place in the school year. Although she was proud of her grade with more than 1,000 masters, she just put away her transcript, and she was also in school. Stop holding a breath.
Zheng Wenrui once asked her why she should give up and be reconciled.
Luo Zhi knew that at that time, there was no basis for it, but only had to. There is no other way to live the life except accept. To live a good life, you must at the same time accept this helpless "have to" beautify your own proactive and wise choice, transform the forced and helpless compromise into a great wisdom, and first of all make yourself convinced .
He would never know that she extinguished all hatred in the first high school and accepted the failure silently.
In the summer of that year, she filled out the application form for liberal arts.
It's like an escape. To sing with track and field athletes, and to run with singers, she just chooses a path that makes herself less sad.
However, looking back today, she was lucky. Fortunately, he is so much stronger than himself. Fortunately, he walked in front of him and left her behind to chase her unwillingly. Otherwise, she might lose her beacon after winning a crude victory and lose all hope and fun.
More importantly, she found herself thinking about this person every day. Since she had a definite face, her feelings have quietly transformed before she hadn't noticed, and transformed to the point of panic.
She fell in love with him.
I'll be nervous when I see him and giggle afterwards. He won the prize in the Math League, and she was happy with it; their class was caught in a hard fight in the basketball league, and he was repeatedly blocked by breakthroughs, and she was anxious. She is the most ordinary girl, and she likes someone in the most ordinary way.
This love made her pay attention to the honor, disgrace, joy and sorrow of a "other" for the first time in her life.
She became more silent.
High school winter vacation, Valentine's Day. She lit the lamp and wrote a long diary. She enjoys torturing herself in a forbearing way, never indulging her curiosity and infatuation, which makes her feel that she maintains a ridiculous height unique to that age, as if her love can be more chattering than the back table The love of the girl who says his name is more noble and pure.
Consolation.
High school is a new beginning, she told herself.
At the school celebration, he spoke as a student representative.
Many people hold the manuscript in their hands and read it nervously on such occasions, but he is always so comfortable. Luo Zhi, who happened to be on guard at the stage of Zhou Sheng, could not see anything, but when he heard the familiar opening remarks, his eyes suddenly became red.
If there was such a suspicion that what I liked was just the bubbles that I had imagined for so many years, then watching the crowd boiling for him in the audience not far away, I had already determined my liking. He deserves her feelings.
Because of this determined love, she freed herself from resentment and jealousy.
He is innocent, brand new, and beautiful. It was the gentle boy who helped the labor committee to receive the littered mineral water bottles in the trash bag after the basketball game was over, when others were retreating to the school building; it was the cream cake that was duped by the classmates on his birthday. The squad leader who smiled and didn't get angry, but raised his index finger when the bell rang for the evening self-study class to silence everyone back to class. He has nothing to do with Luo Zhi's trivial and bitter past and past, and is detached from the intricate relationship of grievances. Although he is a bit more disguised than when he was a child, the smiling face still has no cracks.
She once thought that he was the obstacle and demon that blocked her growth path, but she never knew that he was also the sunshine that stretched thousands of miles in her more than ten years of life.