Chapter 62:

In the early morning of winter, the sky is slightly bright.
The road outside Nancheng ’s third high school is quiet and empty.
At about six o'clock in the morning, the shop opposite the school had not yet opened, and the trolley for breakfast was still missing.
There was mist, the trees on both sides of the road were bare, and occasionally a few birds sprang up on top, shaking the branches and returning to rest.
Song Yan pulled Xu Qin through the middle of the road, and the exhaled mist resembled cotton wool in the wind.
The Bayanqiao Public Security Bureau was near their high school, and the two ran along the empty street.
The school was quiet, and the porter was not awake.
Song Yan took Xu Qin to the road and went to the courtyard wall.
Xu Qin grabbed the railing and climbed up. Song Yan supported her legs and buttocks and protected her from climbing slowly. She had to test whether the foot was enough to get the crossbar, and then she had to choose where to step next to be stressed, and she had to listen to him Here, grab there. "
She was clumsy and finally turned over to the other side of the railing, making it even harder to go down.
"Be careful." Song Yan whispered.
"Well." Xu Qin slowly lowered his weight, hugged the thin rod, and slid down like a little raccoon.
She sighed with relief and climbed up and down, she was sweating.
Preparing to wait for Song Yan, he stepped back a few steps at the other end, suddenly accelerated to rush, jumped up, stepped on the fence of the fence in two or three steps, flew over from above, and landed.
Xu Qin: "..."
Song Yan clapped the ashes on her hands and looked at her: "What's wrong?"
"..." Xu Qin immediately shook his head.
Suddenly remembered, it was the same when he was a teenager. He and his gang of brothers were looking up and pointing under the railing, protecting her clumsy hands and limbs with uncoordinated limbs over the wall, until she slowly swallowed to the ground. The group of teenagers hurriedly crossed the railing one by one like the wind blowing leaves.
He patted the dust on her clothes again: "What do you want?"
"Thinking about high school." Xu Qin took his hand. "Will the group of Fengzi still have contact with you?"
"I got together last month, and took a vacation after the earthquake."
"How are they doing now?"
"It's all very well mixed," Song Yan said.
Xu Qin pursed her lips and stopped asking.
She turned her head and found that the campus was not much different from ten years ago.
The stone pavilion, playground, steps, bamboo forest, teaching building, and the impression are the same. The only change is probably a bit old than what is remembered.
Go around the bamboo grove and go up to the teaching building. The sense of oldness became clearer, the handrails were painted off, there were potholes and cracks on the stairs, the walls were muddy and mottled, and the green paint on the corners faded. Even the air was filled with a slight rot.
Xu Qin thought that if he didn't come in ten years, it would grow old here alone.
On the fourth floor was their classroom. Xu Qin was lying in the window and looking up. The tables and chairs were not neatly arranged. There were still chemistry questions on the blackboard.
Looking directly, Song Yan pried open the window two or three times, turned into the classroom, and opened the classroom door.
Xu Qin's eyes lighted up, and smoke rushed in, looking around, with some emotion: "How do I feel that the classroom is so small, and the tables and chairs are also small." She turned and sat on the seat in the first row, looking left and right excited .
"Do you remember your position?" Song Yan asked.
"For so many years, where do you remember? Besides, it seems that the seats have changed."
Song Yan walked to the second row of the first group, long legs crossed the chair, and sat inside the window seat. He said, "When the first year of high school begins, you sit here."
He said, glancing out the window.
The sky in the east had already revealed the morning glow, and faint bird calls came from the botanical garden, but the campus was still quiet.
Everything is peaceful.
She followed her together: "Let me sit down."
He got up and walked across the aisle.
Xu Qin walked in and sat down, looking around, as if feeling something: "Well, I was a little impressed. I have sat here before." She turned her head, "I remember your seat is behind."
Song Yan smiled, walked to the last row of the second group, pulled open the chair and sat down.
He looked at Xu Qin, she smiled brightly at him, and turned to look out the window.
She has been very happy since entering school.
For her, the years that must have stayed here are also good memories for her.
Song Yan couldn't help but bend his lips. He sat in his seat for a long time, watching her across a classroom.
Memories emerged inadvertently and clearly.
In high school years, he looked at her from a distance like this; every class did, as if he would never tire of it.
Obviously is a very noisy character, but watching her can be quiet for a long time.
In the narrow aisle in front of her, she held her schoolbag under her head with her head down. Clearly passed by, but walked into his heart.
Why would you like her?
Only like her.
Like the softness and fragility when she was bullied, like the loneliness when she was excluded, pitiful, like the dependence of her obediently when she came over to hold his clothes, as if only he could protect her and attach her to the world.
It seems that only then did he really exist and truly exist in this world.
It seems that he didn't really exist before meeting her.
When Song Yan was a child, she had only a father and no mother.
In my memory, my father was a very handsome man, but he was drunk and violent. When he got drunk, he caught him and beat him badly, scolding his mother with dirty words; he cried and hugged him and apologized.
Song Yan has never hated him, and the child's subconscious mind clearly distinguished the cause and effect. He knew that his father was just a poor man who was abandoned by his wife and whose self-esteem was crushed.
He also understood what adults said, and knew that his mother had become a mistress for the rich, so no matter how violent the father after drunk, he had never hated him, but only felt that he was pitiful.
The father and son lived like this until one night when Song Yan was seven years old, his father went home drunk, fell, and hit his head on the stone.
When Song Yan opened the door to see him the next day, the poor man was already cold and stiff.
Xiao Yanyan shoved him and called his father a few times, but he didn't respond.
The little child went a long way to knock at the door of his uncle's house and said, "My dad is dead. You help me collect it. I can't move it."
Later, he was picked up by his uncle and was shielded from all grudges about his parents' generation.
But no matter how to hide, the child will find ways to listen to the corner. It turned out that his mother had given birth to another child, but the child had recognized his wife as a mother since he was a child and had never met her and did not know her existence. But even with this treatment, she refused to come back. She lived in a villa like a canary.
At the age of ten, Song Yan secretly went to find his mother.
He collected information a little bit and found the house. There was no one at home when he went. He waited outside for a long time, and the car rang when he was about to fall asleep.
The first time he saw his mother, it was more beautiful and mature than the photo. He leaned in the arms of a strange man and was as soft as a snake.
He stood by the road and looked like a wandering child.
The couple passed by him without noticing him.
However, the woman turned back and looked at him briefly before disappearing into the room.
For no reason, he was pretty sure that she knew who he was.
But she didn't look at him more.
He turned away and spit at the car as he walked.
He never visited her again.
In the long and long years that followed, Song Yan felt that he was a dispensable person in this world, not needed by anyone, nor wanted by anyone, just like his wasteful father.
No, he is more pitiful than his father, and even more dispensable. At least he still needs his father, but his father doesn't need him. Not to mention the mother.
Even in his rebellious adolescence, because of his handsome appearance, there were more girls around him, he felt deeply disgusted, and there was a vague fear that he would never admit at that time.
His father was equally handsome, but it turned out.
He will do the same because he has nothing.
Until that day, through the window, he saw the skinny girl with her schoolbag lowered her head into the classroom, passing timidly through his eyes.
There seemed to be a flash of light in his heart.
If he wrote the name "Song Yan" on his school uniform with a stroke of his hand and handed it to her, it was only his wishful declaration of her protection and possession.
When she returned the school uniform with ink to him and asked him to sign again, it was she who admitted his protection and conquest.
It was at that moment that he was locked in by her.
The bond between the two became two-way.
And the brighter mouth in his heart teared more and more, and could no longer be controlled.
"Song Yan, I'm afraid of falling." You have to help me.
"Song Yan, I can't crawl." You carry me.
"Song Yan, I'm cold." You hug me.
"Song Yan, I'm a little sad." You come to coax me.
"Song Yan, the boy touched my hand." You hit him.
"Song Yan, I can't do it alone." You need to be with you.
"Song Yan, hurry and steal me." I just want to be with you, nobody else.
"Song Yan ..."
She is tossing around like she is lacking something in her heart, and constantly wants to prove what he has done, prove her importance to him, and prove his love for her. As if she was not satisfied, she kept asking for it from him.
And he was totally helpful, responding to her again and again, giving her everything she wanted. The more she relied on him, the more she trusted him, the more she needed him, the more he fell into it and could not extricate herself.
The unfamiliar aspect that she showed before him is something that only he can enjoy exclusively.
Only he can make her happy and let her release. This fact in turn made him extremely satisfied with stability.
Two children who had no similarities in the eyes of outsiders had been inseparable for three years.
The vacant hole in his heart was filled little by little.
Until the day of the breakup, he was hollowed out at once, as if the youth nightmare imposed on him by his parents was repeated again.
Song Yan's thoughts stopped immediately.
He lowered his eyes, looked at the marks crossed by the knife on the desk, and slightly purged his lips.
There is no need to mention the separate times. Fortunately, despite the hardships, it has now reunited.
He sensed something and looked up.
At the other end of the classroom, Xu Qin was lying on the desk, looking at him with a smile, his eyes shining brightly: "Are you in a daze? I have seen you for a long time."
Her smile eased everything.
"Well--" He touched his nose. "Thinking about work."
He lied and quickly digressed: "Did you go back to school after graduation?"
Xu Qin shook his head: "How about you?"
He didn't laugh.
I have been there many times, every time in the morning or night, or in winter and summer vacations, and I avoided students who go to school every time.
On a huge campus, he was alone, wandering alone.
Seeing the plants on the playground dry and yellow with your own eyes, watching the walls of the teaching building gradually mottled, and watching the bricks on the steps slowly crack ...
For more than a decade, the school is a quiet and lonely city for him, filled with countless memories of him and her, silently aging in time, but not fading, and stubbornly waiting for loss day after day People who have recalled come over to find it.
A ray of sunlight penetrated through the mist and shone on Xu Qin's hair. She narrowed her eyes and looked over, holding the palm of her hand to block the light: "Ah, the sun is out."
She asked: "Are you going to leave, the students will come later."
"Play for another two minutes." Song Yan said, got up and walked to the podium, took the blackboard eraser and wiped the corner of the blackboard clean.
Xu Qin was curious and followed: "What are you doing, do you write?"
"Well." He took a piece of chalk from the chalk box and turned to write on the blackboard.
Xu Qin stretched his neck to look, and just saw a word "Xu", Song Yan put her hand in front of her eyes: "Write on one side!"
"Be stingy!" Xu Qin hummed, deliberately distanced him, took the blackboard and wiped off the other corner.
After wiping, pat the dust on your hand and reach for the chalk in the box.
The moment she touched the bottom of the box with her fingertips, she made a certain decision.
She didn't quite believe it yet, she slowly lowered her head, but there was no chalk on her finger, but she was hooking a silver ring.
The fine dust can't cover the diamond's shining light.
With a urn in her head, there was no sound for a moment, only her shallow breath in the golden sunlight.
The sun rises, the sun shines through the bright windows of the classroom ten years ago, and dozens of empty tables and chairs reflect the morning light. It was here that year, the teenager sitting in the last row hooked his lips and looked at the girl sitting at the window.
Xu Qin's heart slammed and looked back at Song Yan. He lowered his head slightly and wrote on the blackboard. White chalk vigorously stroked at the end of a line to draw a full stop.
It was written on the blackboard: "Xu Qin, marry me."
Song Yan put down the chalk, looked at her sideways, and looked at it very seriously. After a while, he smiled slowly. The smile seemed to have traveled thousands of miles, saying:
"Xu Qin, give me a home."